SOMETIMES EVEN MUSIC CANNOT SUBSTITUTE FOR TEARS:  Today's SlatePitch: Rhythm of the Saints, also released twenty-five years ago this week, is Paul Simon's best album? "Maybe the reason I love the album so much," the author claims, "is not that it doesn’t make me feel old, but that it makes me feel like growing old has a purpose."

THUNDER DROWNS OUT WHAT THE LIGHTNING SEES:  Twenty-five years ago today, we rushed to our local record stores to get the longbox of the Hindu Love Gods' first (and, of course, only) album. And so I couldn't help but wonder: what are your favorite side projects in rock-and-or-roll? [Don't all say Traveling Wilburys at once!]

GOODBYE, AND GOOD RIDDANCE:  At this moment, the final USAirways flight is scheduled to take off from Philadelphia, after which the airline will cease to exist.  As to when the flight will actually take off, and what information passengers will be given as to any delays, who the hell knows.

As a blog, I think we've accomplished our mission. It's all gravy from here.

BECHTEL AND BECHDEL, A CONSPIRACY IN THREE ACTS:  I love a good conspiracy theory.  I especially love a conspiracy theory that suggests Stephen Hawking died in 1985 and was replaced by a duplicate in order for the John D and Catherine T MacArthur Foundation to have a front man to loot national treasuries in the name of physics research.

CAN'T SMIZE WITHOUT YOU:  America's Next Top Model, which never really produced a Top Model but sure was fun to watch back in the day, will conclude this season, its 22nd.

I KNOW, I'VE GOT TO LET IT GO AND JUST ENJOY THE SHOW:  Eight films about underdogs who fell short in The Big Game.

MIRANDA LAMBERT IS NOT INVOLVED:  Given that it's (a) an original musical about (b) a lawyer who quits her job to follow an ex-boyfriend to California, seems like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend might be right up our alley.  Yes, the songs are delightful (see, e.g., "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"), but I'm not sure there's a series there, and the supporting cast desperately needs to be less of a cipher to work--prior "quirky town" shows on the CW (Everwood, Gilmore Girls, Hart of Dixie) have often risen or fell on their supporting cast.  Also,we start at (presumably) high school theater camp, and "10 years later," a 28 year-old actress is making partner in what appears to be a large NYC law firm?  (We'll leave aside the fact that she's talking corporate lawyer talk while looking through what appears to be a pleadings file.)  I'm in, though this is clearly a "high risk, high reward" play.

.... THE ARTICLES!  Playboy will stop running nude images because blah blah blah internet, print is dying, millennials, etc.

THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL SLIDE SINCE THE CHA-CHA SLIDE:  Will Leitch explains why the two-game suspension of Chase Utley (YATM) is so troubling (to me, at least):

It took one play, the Buster Posey broken leg, to make people realize that this was no longer what they wanted baseball to be, and they used it to change the game. The one thing MLB didn't do after that play was suspend Scott Cousins, the Marlin who ran into Posey in the first place. How could you? He was just doing what everybody does in that situation. Now, if he were to do that now, he'd be suspended, because the rule has been put into place: Everyone in baseball knows that MLB takes getting rid of home-plate collisions seriously and acts accordingly. But players don't know that with pivot plays. That's why Utley did it. That's why Chris Goghlan did it when his slide took out the Pirates' Jung Ho Kang in September. That's why everybody does it. Because no one has told them they can't. Because 100 years of baseball has told them they should.... 

It is reacting to the public response to a play rather than the play itself. Now, I understand why everyone is so angry. Tejada is out of the playoffs now. The Mets lost a game they might not have otherwise. Utley was defiant afterward. The optics are bad. But that is precisely why you don't suspend Utley. When you suspend Utley, you are not fixing the circumstances that led to the situation happening. You are reacting to how angry people are. People want blood, and you're giving it to them.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SCIENCE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS:  A solid A-minus to The Martian, a popcorn movie celebrating geekery (without quite the emotional pull of Gravity), but there's one unrealistic element I need to single out below the fold: