A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

2012-01-30T10:21:00.000-05:00

ALL IT'S MISSING IS A CHARLIE SHEEN CAMEO: We may have to take our annual AdMeter question out of the pool, because here's that Ferris Bueller/Honda ad you've been waiting for.

2012-01-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

I'M THE EYE-MAN OF TV, WITH MY OCULAR TB: Inspired by last week's spasm of coverage regarding Pres. John Tyler's living grandchildren (which, ahem, some of us could have told you over three years ago), the folks at Mental Floss couldn't help but wonder: what's your favorite all-time amazing fact?

2012-01-29T14:56:00.002-05:00

INCREDIBLY CLOSE TO WHAT? As part of my feeling an obligation to see at least the majority of films that are Best Picture nominees (now at 6 of 9 for the year--haven't seen The Artist, The Tree of Life, or War Horse, and will probably only get to 7 or 8 total), I saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close in a fairly full theatre on the Upper East Side of Manhattan last night. I certainly wouldn't have ranked it #1 on my ballot, but nor did I react with the shock and disgust that some critics have leveled at the film. A couple of relatively spoiler-free thoughts:

Despite the fact that Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock are top billed, they have maybe 10-15 minutes of screen time each--indeed, I think Max von Sydow and Viola Davis both have more screen time than does Hanks. (Reports are that Bullock had a significant subplot excised which involved James Gandolfini, who was highly billed on early posters, and whose part is entirely left on the cutting room floor.) That means that the movie rises and falls on Thomas Horn, whose sole credit before this was appearing on Kids Week on Jeopardy! The problem is that the character is a bit of a blank slate, though this is less Horn's fault than the source material and screenplay. Particularly given a reveal near the end of the film, I wonder if there wasn't a better movie to be made in which all the narrative weight didn't lie on his shoulders, but was shared in parallel with another character (as I understand the book is, mixing Oskar's story with flashbacks that are entirely absent from the film).
Much of the reaction to the film (particularly the negative reaction) seems to be centered on how 9/11 plays a prominent role in the film. I'm wondering if a better movie could have been made by excising 9/11 entirely from it--have Hanks' character die in a random act of violence rather than one fraught with such emotion. Admittedly, this requires some rejiggering of plot elements, but less than you might think, and might have allowed both the filmmakers and the audience to focus on a small portrait of grief rather than trying to create a large and universal one.

There are some moments in the film that really work (particularly a couple of scenes between Bullock and Horn and von Sydow's wordless, but world-weary, performance), but on the whole, I found it an interesting example of a film that tries too hard to say everything, and, as a result, winds up saying pretty much nothing.

2012-01-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

ONE FINAL THING I HAVE TO DO ... AND THEN I'LL BE FREE OF THE PAST: The judges have spoken, and we have our winners in Matt Zoller Seitz's Vertigoed contest, selecting among 98 entries consisting of other film clips (such as the downfall of @DukeandDukePHL) set to Bernard Herrmann's memorable "Scene D'Amour" from the Vertigo score. The winner? One word: KHAAAAAN!

2012-01-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

"LAST WEEK, WE DID A SHOW ... THAT LAID ... WITHOUT A DOUBT ... THE BIGGEST BOMB IN HISTORY": It's one of my favorite Hollywood stories, and I'm glad to see it told well by Splitsider -- You're In The Picture, the Jackie Gleason celebrity game show which aired once on January 20, 1961 (um ... kind of a busy night?) and only once, a show so bad that Gleason spent the next week's half-hour slot apologizing for the show having aired.

2012-01-27T16:43:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S THE HAPS ON THE CRAPS? In the tradition of Which Cubs Game Did Ferris Bueller Attend? and my What St. John's Game Did Prince Akeem Enjoy?, someone has cross-referenced the Lakers' box scores, Los Angeles weather reports, MTV's programming schedule and the history of beeper technology to determine that January 20, 1992, was Ice Cube's Good Day.

2012-01-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

SINISTER PHASE THREE: Longtime ALOTT5MA fave Evan O'Dorney, the 2007 National Spelling Bee champion from the East Bay (who Shonda once called an "adorable pint-size spelling genius and I know in my heart that one day he’ll create some kind of amazing box-type object that will change the world somehow"), is now a freshman at Harvard, where The Crimson profiles him today. Two highlights:

"He is one of the few freshmen ever to place out of Math 55—the most advanced undergraduate math course offered—directly into graduate mathematics classes in his first semester."

"O’Dorney even offered to spell-check this article before it went to print."

2012-01-27T08:12:00.000-05:00

UP YOUR NOSE WITH A RUBBER HOSE: Piggybacking for a second straight day off something in the prior day's comments, I wanted to focus on something Eric J said in our discussion of the death of Welcome Back Kotter's Robert Hegyes:

Possibly the biggest gap between how much I loved it as a kid, and how unwatchable I'd find it now of any show.

A few years ago, I watched a few WBK reruns on Nick at Nite and found myself appreciating Gabe Kaplan more and the Sweathogs a little less. Bigger gaps for me are certainly for some of the animated stuff I devoured as a kid -- Super Friends and Scooby-Doo in particular, and among live-action stuff, I do not think Laverne & Shirley has aged well. It just seems so loud and clunky, and I don't quite get the appeal anymore.

2012-01-26T18:48:00.000-05:00

AS LONG AS THERE IS INJUSTICE, WHENEVER A TARGATHIAN BABY CRIES OUT, WHEREVER A DISTRESS SIGNAL SOUNDS AMONG THE STARS, WE'LL BE THERE: Splitsider points out that Harold Ramis was originally signed to direct Galaxy Quest, and the fascinating part is why he backed out:

Originally titled Captain Starshine when it was first written but then wisely changed to Galaxy Quest, this sci-fi comedy was a directing project that Harold Ramis signed onto in 1998. Ramis reportedly left the movie, though, when Disney insisted on casting Tim Allen in the lead role, and Dean Parisot took over. According to movie site Ain’t it Cool News, Kevin Kline was Ramis’s first choice but Kline turned the part down. Ramis then wanted Alec Baldwin to play the lead role but the studio nixed that idea and selected Tim Allen.

By Grabthar's hammer, Baldwin would have been awesome in the role. Damn.

2012-01-26T16:51:00.000-05:00

DEAR MR. KOTTER, PLEASE EXCUSE JUAN EPSTEIN FROM CLASS TODAY BECAUSE HE'S DEAD. SIGNED, EPSTEIN'S MOTHER: R.I.P. Robert Hegyes, Isro role model (even though he wasn't Jewish -- just the character), passed away at the age 60.

2012-01-26T08:14:00.000-05:00

OH, YOU ONLY FIGHT THE FIGHTS YOU CAN WIN? YOU FIGHT THE FIGHTS THAT NEED FIGHTING! Following up on yesterday's discussion, which has links to various lists in the comments, let's try to figure out who is the best living actor or actress to have never been nominated for an Academy Award.

For all of our Alan Rickman sympathy, yesterday's discussion suggested four other names perhaps higher on that list: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Mr. Steve Martin, Martin Sheen, and Jim Carrey -- and while I don't think of Carrey as being a great actor, between his performances in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Man on the Moon, and The Truman Show ... how has he not been nominated yet?

2012-01-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

BECAUSE PETER GARRETT ISN'T THE ONLY AUSTRALIAN CABINET MINISTER WE EVER DISCUSS: Congratulations to Aussie transport minister Anthony Albanese for his totally original remarks today:

In Australia, we have serious challenges to solve and we need serious people to solve them. Unfortunately, Tony Abbott is not the least bit interested in fixing anything. He is only interested in two things: making Australians afraid of it and telling them who's to blame for it.

It is unclear whether he then proceeded to have sex with Annette Bening.

2012-01-25T21:05:00.003-05:00

BECAUSE JOEY WORKED OUT SO WELL FOR EVERYONE: A few years ago, there were rumblings of an Office spinoff, and fortunately for all concerned, it morphed into Parks & Recreation instead. Now, preparations are hard at work for Schrute Farms, a spinoff focusing on Dwight and his life at Schrute Farms. As cartoonish as Dwight has become, this sounds like a pretty awful idea, even though there's been some great material revolving around the farm over the years. Of course, complicating matters is that basically no one is under contract to the mothership show for next season, which may force this on us. In addition to the awfulness of this idea, feel free to discuss spinoffs you wish you could have seen (I still wish there was a "Paris and Doyle Move To NYC" spinoff of Gilmore Girls) or backdoor pilots that didn't go (like the 80s set Gossip Girl spinoff/prequel with Brittany Snow as Lily Rhodes (later van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey) and Krysten Ritter as her sister).

2012-01-25T10:31:00.002-05:00

(MUST BE) THE MONEY: Terrell Owens is the subject of this GQ profile of a football player with a usual set of problems: despite a relatively unflashy life, he's out of work and out of money. Now it's his fault -- bad personal decisions, bad family decisions. But I'm sympathetic to these guys -- even TO. They never learned to handle a dollar because they never had one in the first place. But this is, for many of them, all of the money they will ever make and given they'd never seen how fast a family can use up $60K or $100K, $3 or $4M a year must seem inexhaustible. $80M in lifetime earnings. And it's gone.

2012-01-25T09:09:00.002-05:00

ACCIO TRIBUTE! For being the world's highest-grossing film franchise in history (non-adjusted for inflation, in which case it would be the James Bond films, albeit with 3x the films), the Harry Potter series sure hasn't gotten any respect from the Academy. In sum, the eight films have received twelve nominations in total, none for acting/writing/directing, and zero wins. Alan Rickman, still, has never received an Oscar nomination in his life.

(By way of comparison, the Lord of the Rings trilogy received thirty nominations overall and won seventeen Oscars -- 4/13 for Fellowship, 2/6 on Two Towers, 11/11 for Return of the King.)

The series deserves better. Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling, the actors, and the producing team deserve credit for an overall faithful, entertaining, family-friendly adaptation of a deservedly legendary series of books. They picked great kids a decade ago who matured into the actors they needed; the UK's finest thespians were well-used in filling out this world. When you consider how many adaptations fail to capture their source material accurately, the Harry Potter films cleared a high bar indeed.

So, with only three nominations this year, all in technical categories, what is to be done? I think an Honorary Oscar to commemorate the overall achievement would be appropriate, except those were already given out this year. (Make an exception!) Otherwise, at a minimum, they should at least do a three-minute tribute reel, then bring out the cast and behind-the-scene team for the long standing ovation they richly deserve. This is only common sense—not magic.

2012-01-25T08:23:00.000-05:00

THIRTEEN YEARS AND FOUR MONTHS: This week's Wire Wednesday episode, "Old Cases," is all about being Real Police. Unlike the first three episodes, it doesn't feel like there's an even split between police-side and street-side plots; there's much more focus on the police, and we finally get to see competence (even intelligence) all around.

The crescendo is what apparently's just referred to as the "fuck" scene (NSFW, but you know that by now, because it's used about 38 times), a symphony of language and Bunk & McNulty's intelligence perfectly set up by D'Angelo's prior narration of what happened—like an inner-city version of that opening computer graphics scene in Titanic which shows us exactly how the ship will sink. And we've also got Lester's figuring of D'Angelo's pager number, setting up the next stage of the investigation.

Sure, there's dumb law enforcement too -- Bodie's escape from Boys Village and all the insurance/pension scam stuff does not reflect well on Baltimore's Finest, nor does the titular shunting of real police like Lester into more than a decade of index card work. But for once, I feel like the police may actually have a chance to crack the Barksdale operation.

About that operation: they've got a problem other than the police, and his name is Omar. I have no idea how shocking his being gay came off at the time—this is one of those facts I absorbed from the culture about the show, so I expected it—but it's certainly unique, and unlike Vito Spatafore on The Sopranos not at all played for laughs. I would not want to be Avon Barksdale's top priority, and am intrigued to see what happens next.

2012-01-24T23:14:00.000-05:00

ENJOY EVERY SANDWICH: Warren Zevon would have turned 65 today; he's now been gone from us for over eight years. Here's "Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner," and, oh, his appearance on a particularly cursed episode of The Larry Sanders Show.

2012-01-24T19:06:00.001-05:00

COOPER, YOU'RE AN AMAZING DANCER, AND YOU'RE A GREAT CHOREOGRAPHER, BUT AS A BOYFRIEND ... YOU KINDA SUCK: A certain segment of our readership will care that Ethan Stiefel has announced his impending retirement as a principal dancer for the American Ballet Theater, and will give his final performance as Ali, the Slave, in ABT’s production of Le Corsaire on Saturday evening, July 7, 2012. [HT: Linda Holmes.]

2012-01-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

WHAT PART OF "LIFETIME APPOINTMENT" ~~DON'T YOU GET, SIR?~~ ... NEVERMIND, HE GOT IT: The Hon. Wesley Brown joined the federal bench in 1958, appointed as a bankruptcy judge by President Dwight Eisenhower, and was promoted to the United States District Court for the District of Kansas by President John F. Kennedy in 1962. He had grown up next door to freed slaves; when he attended college, Calvin Coolidge was President.

"You know, he could have retired years ago at full salary," explained one of his colleagues on the bench when Brown turned 93. "But I think one of the reasons he stays is because he doesn't believe in doing something for nothing. He couldn't take the taxpayers' money for not working."

Judge Brown continued to hear a full docket of cases well past the age of 100, and did not reduce his caseload until last year. Judge Brown passed away last night at the age of 104.

2012-01-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

AM I BUGGIN' YA? In response to our recent discussion, a helpful reader notes that in today's NYT crossword puzzle, the clue for 42-Down is "U2 Guitarist," and there are seven letters, not four. (No, "Clayton" doesn't work.)

2012-01-24T08:44:00.002-05:00

ATTACK OF THE SHORT GOLD MEN: Looks like we've got a few surprises in the Oscar nods:

No nomination for Tilda Swinton for best actress despite a slew of critics prizes for her in We Need To Talk About Kevin, though Rooney Mara and Glenn Close got in.
A couple of surprises in Best Actor--Gary Oldman gets into the mix for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (which is also in the running for adapted screenplay), and Demian Bichir gets in for the little-seen A Better Life.
Despite the "tighter" Best Pic eligibility rules, 9 nominees, including a couple of surprises--Tree of Life and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, both of which likely benefited from the ranked voting system in which a #1 vote counts for a lot in nominations, as they are highly, highly polarizing, with their fans being insistent on their high value.
In the category of "People who are going to lose to Christopher Plummer," Nick Nolte's performance in Warrior (which I found extremely hammy) is on the short list, as are Jonah Hill's work in Moneyball and Max Von Sydow's wordless work in Extremely Loud. Interestingly, 3 of the 20 acting nominations are for non-speaking roles.
They bent over backwards to snub Pixar, Tintin, and Rio in Animated Feature, with two obscure films to fill out the category but not slow the inevitable win of Rango.
Apparently only two original song competitors, with an easy call for "Man or Muppet" to win.
Other movies that can add "Academy Award Nominee" to their ads? Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Real Steel, Anonymous, and Madonna's film W.E.

2012-01-23T21:00:00.000-05:00

SKIPPYJON JONES, FOILED AGAIN: After a year's absence, Christy in NYC is back for the fifth time to sum up the American Library Association's annual awards for the best in children's publishing. Without further hesitation, here goes:

* * *

My friends! Remember last year, when the ALA Youth Media Awards were announced, and Adam wrote to me reminding me to write my annual guest post, but I was so feverish that I had just that morning tried to use a cell phone to call someone in the next room but couldn't because I had it upside down? So there was no way I could write something coherent, let alone publishable? I sort of remember that, vaguely. But this year I am strong as a horse! And ready to show you the list of books that won this morning, the biggest morning in children's publishing, the announcement of the 2012 ALA Youth Media Awards! Here are the biggies:

John Newbery Medal for the most outstanding contribution to children's literature: Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos. Honors went to Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Li (which had already taken gold in the National Book Award Young People's Literature category this past fall) and Breaking Stalin's Nose by Eugene Yelchin.

Randolph Caldecott Medal for the most distinguished American picture book for children: A Ball for Daisy, illustrated and written by Chris Raschka. There were three honors for the Caldecott: Blackout by John Rocco, Grandpa Green by Lane Smith, and Me...Jane by Patrick McDonnell.

Michael L. Printz Award for excellence in literature written for young adults: Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley. This also took the top prize for the Morris Award for a debut YA novel.

Coretta Scott King Award for authors went to Kadir Nelson for Heart and Soul, which also got an honor in the illustrator category. But the winner for illustrator went to Shane W. Evans for Underground.

There are many, many more winners and honors on the list, and depending on the needs of the young readers in your life (or just your own literary tastes), there are plenty of wonderful books to discover, sorted into neat little categories. Also of interest might be the Alex Award Winners, for adult books that could have special appeal to young adults.

If I were to sum up (and here I go), I would say that this year's list of winners and honors is a surprise, not so much for what's on the list, but for what's not. While there are very few books here that didn't get award buzz, the ones that were arguably getting the most buzz do not show up, or show up in unexpected places.

A few examples: I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen was among the most buzzed Caldecott candidates, along with Me...Jane and Grandpa Green, but it ended up appearing on the Theodor Seuss Geisel honor list for beginning readers. Many would have said the Newbery was for Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt (who has won several Newbery honors but never gold) to lose. The only place it appears is on the Odyssey honor list for best audio books. Amelia Lost and A Monster Calls, two very common picks of the higher-profile mock Newbery committees this year are nowhere to be found. And there are certainly many YA books I thought might show up on the Printz list that didn't, but I'm not sure which I would have expected to not be there instead.

So, friends? What were your favorite books for young readers in 2011? What are your kids loving? And do you see those books on this list?

2012-01-23T20:13:00.002-05:00

WELL, START BY BRINGIN' BACK THE AWESOME 70s-80s JERSEYS: The Houston Astros were the baseball team of my youth--indeed, my first ever ballgame was one of the Ryan no-hitters in the Astrodome--so I feel compelled to note that new ownership, as part of its "we love the fans" plans (which include cutting prices for tickets and beer) won't rule out changing the team's name. Admittedly, with the team no longer playing in the Dome (the disposal of which is a hot issue in Houston) and the space shuttle program at an end, the justification for the name is minimal, but I suspect they'll stick with it--it's not like the name has a history of failure and ignominy, and there aren't many other options out there. Anyone have suggestions?

2012-01-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

SWEEP THE LEG. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Anyone want to defend this as good sportsmanship?

After the game, reporters crowded around the locker of Jacquian Williams, who'd forced the second fumble, hoping for an angle: Had the Giants noticed something about Kyle Williams's technique, some weakness in the 49ers punt-return scheme? "Nah," Williams said. "The thing is, we knew he had four concussions, so that was our biggest thing, was to take him outta the game."

Devin Thomas, the reserve wide receiver who recovered both of Kyle Williams's fumbles, was even more explicit. “He’s had a lot of concussions," Thomas told the Star-Ledger columnist Steve Politi. "We were just like, ‘We gotta put a hit on that guy.’ ... [Giants reserve safety Tyler] Sash did a great job hitting him early and he looked kind of dazed when he got up. I feel like that made a difference and he coughed it up.”

It certainly sounds like the Giants' special teams players were told about Williams's history of concussions, and that they went after him because of it. (That this has so far drawn no attention from beat reporters suggests that such planning is commonplace). It's impossible to know whether Thomas is right — if Williams in fact was concussed or woozy during the game — but he didn't look himself yesterday: There was the third-quarter punt that skimmed off his knee after he seemed to dawdle, unsure whether to pick it up or let it roll, and at least two punts that he fair-caught though he had plenty of room to run. Sports Illustrated's Ann Killion also noticed "a fumble on a reverse that he fell on, a strange sideways diving catch on another punt that could have been disaster." Williams played virtually the whole game at wide receiver and didn't register a single catch.

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The This Had Oscar Buzz tumblr collects movie posters from, yeah, those movies. Amelia, anyone?

2012-01-22T22:41:00.001-05:00

~~AIN'T GONNA BE NO REMATCH~~ GREAT. IT'S A REMATCH: It's good to see fanbases as unfulfilled and unrewarded as Boston's and New York's finally have a chance at the glory and excitement of a sports championship. Let the two weeks of hype begin.

added: Stefan Fatsis explains how a few extra seconds without panic might have improved Billy Cundiff's field goal attempt.

2012-01-22T12:01:00.000-05:00

PRIMACY AND RECENCY: That's what we're all taught as lawyers; your first impression matters a lot, and then folks will remember how you ended. What's in between doesn't stick quite as much.

Joe Paterno's passing this morning reminds us of the distorting effect of these mental biases. Yes, every obituary must of necessity contain a "but" or, in the NYT's case, an "only to be..." Children were raped and he did not do enough to stop it, or as KR quoted in a comment:

Downey: What did we do wrong? We did nothing wrong.
Dawson: Yeah, we did. We were supposed to fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves. We were supposed to fight for Willie.

And that may be what was so shocking here. Had this happened at The U or any number of always-under-investigation football factories, this scandal would have been appalling but not unexpected. But Penn State? Joe Pa? He was the coach, and this was the school, which was supposed to be better.

It is the greatness of what Paterno achieved over the fifty years which preceded 2011 which made these revelations such a gut punch. But let us remember the successes as well as the failure, and be open to the possibility that this was a moral failing and not an affirmative act of evil, or as Isaac wrote in an essay you must re-read today:

I think that Paterno, Curley, Schmidt, and Spanier have given Penn State no choice but to fire them, because the university cannot be seen as supporting or condoning their inaction in any way. But I would be lying to you, and to myself, if I said that I don't understand the impulse not to say anything or do anything. If there is any way to rationalize the behavior, to call the evidence inconclusive, or, failing that, to make it somebody else's responsibility, there is a powerful human instinct to do that. I like to think that if I saw someone raping a child, I would intervene and then go to the police, without regard to any possible consequences to me. But it's easy to say that. Until it happens – never, I hope – I won't know, and neither will you....

They failed as human beings in a way that had agonizing consequences for others. And I know that my initial reaction was that they are all criminals. But now, having thought a lot about it, I think that failing as a human being is not the same thing as being a bad human being. There is enough room for Paterno to have been wrong for not doing anything in 2002 (or maybe 1998) and also to have been honest when he said, in hindsight, that that is the greatest regret in his long and eventful life.

I'll let Joe Posnanski (from November) have the last word:

Paterno has paid a price here. His job is gone. His life’s work has been soiled. His reputation is in tatters. Maybe that should be the price. Maybe there should be more of a price. You don’t have to type: “Well, his price is nothing like the price of those victims…” I already know that.

But I think the way Joe Paterno has lived his life has earned him something more than instant fury, more than immediate assumptions of the worst, more than the happy cheers of critics who have always believed that there was something phony about the man and his ideals. He deserves what I would hope we all deserve — for the truth to come out, or, anyway, the closest thing to truth we can find.

I don’t think Joe Paterno has gotten that. And I think that’s sad.

The family has requested that in lieu of flowers and gifts, donations go to Special Olympics Pennsylvania and THON, the PSU student-run philanthropy battling pediatric cancer.

2012-01-21T15:00:00.000-05:00

WARDEN OF THE AFC NORTH: NFL conference championship previews by way of Game of Thrones, AFC and NFC editions.

2012-01-21T12:00:00.002-05:00

FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY: The Daily Beast compiles eight SNL musical performances allegedly worse than that one last week by that person that everyone's hatin' on who I basically know nothing about other than that she's got haters.

(Related: Ian Spanic reminds us that Spanic Boys really exist; the most obscure musical guests in SNL history.)

2012-01-20T17:58:00.002-05:00

THIS MAY POKE A HOLE IN ARISTOTLE'S LAW OF IDENTITY: When is Fausto Carmona not Fausto Carmona?

2012-01-20T17:11:00.002-05:00

I PREFER YOU/ALL NIGHT LONG: As you probably know, Etta James died this morning. She had been sick for some time, and had seemed to be in poor health for years, so it may not be a surprise, but it's sad all the same. Most of the headlines seem to mention "At Last," but I remember her less for that song, soulful classic though it deservedly is, and more for her bouncy, proto-funky R&B stuff, like I Prefer You. Rest in peace.

2012-01-20T16:55:00.001-05:00

ISIS CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR GLO-COAT: Mad Men + Archer = Sterling Archer Draper Pryce. Questionably SFW. (HT: Tara Ariano.)

2012-01-20T08:12:00.000-05:00

WHAT PART OF "LIFETIME APPOINTMENT" DON'T YOU GET, SIR? I recognize that I'm straddling a line here, but I figured folks needed to see that retired Justice John Paul Stevens appeared on The Colbert Report last night, and the nonagenarian was charming and game.

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

A SPECIAL REQUEST FOR THE ALOTT5MA FRIDAY PLAYLIST: Frequent commenter (and longtime friend of many here) Jenn is wondering: can you suggests some songs to be loaded onto an iPod playlist for her upcoming wedding reception?

I'll note that we've already done Songs That Compel You To Dance, and note that our general rule that "there's no event that can't be improved with Morris Day and the Time" is definitely in effect here.

2012-01-19T20:36:00.002-05:00

PERTAINING TO CONCLUSIONS FOR OVER 160 YEARS: According to Random House, "conclusory" has been a word since approximately 1840-1850. State court judges in the United States began using the word in 1908. In re Canakos, 111 N.Y.S. 601, 601 (Sup. Ct. App. Term 1908). Federal judges began using it in 1942. Guth v. Groves, 44 F. Supp. 851, 853 (S.D.N.Y. 1942). Now judges use it all the time -- in 943 cases reported in 2012 alone (according to a Lexis search), or in over 78 cases per work day, excluding court holidays. Because judges use the word "conclusory" when they define or make law, lawyers also have to use the word, though they don't need much coaxing. Lawyers use "conclusory" like bakers use flour.

Microsoft Word is the dominant word processing software used by lawyers. Microsoft Word has had spell-check since at least 1995.

According to Lexis, there are more than 3000 reported decisions* in which Microsoft is a party and the word "conclusory" appears in the text of the decision.

So why does Microsoft spell-check still stubbornly refuse to accept "conclusory" as a word?

2012-01-19T08:35:00.000-05:00

PREMORSE DESK: In honor of Betty White's 90th birthday this week, The Daily Beast slideshows a bunch of nonagenarian actors just to remind you they, too, aren't dead yet, and Mental Floss has audio of a radio play White did back in 1930.

2012-01-18T22:25:00.000-05:00

FROM THE SHOTGUN SHACK TO THE SUPERDOME: New BRUUUUUUUUCE! single. Album, tour to follow this year.

2012-01-18T17:43:00.001-05:00

MAN, WHO DRINKS A CHERRY COKE? We're all in agreement that Coca-Cola Freestyle is awesome, correct?

2012-01-18T17:05:00.003-05:00

CELEBRITY BOOKS AND WHY THE PERSON WHO GREENLIT THEM GREENLIGHTED THEM*:

Josh Radnor, One Big Blissful Thing: Never heard of, wanted to try ayahuasca, then got high enough to accidentally agree to publish this

Mike Doughty, The Book of Drugs: Editor loves Soul Coughing; was brutally savaged in book for saying so
Rob Lowe, Stories I Only Tell My Friends: Delivery vehicle for interior glossy photos of Rob Lowe
Jenny McCarthy, Louder than Words: A Mother’s Journey in Healing Autism: Terrorist plot to start rubella epidemic in Malibu
Nicole Polizzi, A Shore Thing: Tapping niche of embarrassing gifts from uncles and aunts who want to seem hip to 12-14 year-old nieces
Soleil Moon Frye, Happy Chaos: Looking for dirt on that creepy Henry guy
Tina Fey, Bossypants: Boss said had to put out at least one well-written book in 2011
Shania Twain, From This Moment On: Thought this was a book of prophecies

*Playing both sides of this conjugation here.

2012-01-18T16:36:00.000-05:00

COME ON IN, GUYS: Three reality items.

TLC will be re-airing the BBC3 series Undercover Princes and Undercover Princesses this winter. Both are, basically, Coming to America (Only It's In England): The Reality Show, and Wikipedia (I peeked) indicates that the royals in search of twue wuv in question hail from Africa, South Asia, and Europe, and it's more of a "follow them around" then a structured show with symbolic roses and whatnot. And that's a shame; we're enough removed in time from Joe Millionaire that a show which tries to pull it off in reverse should work.
Dalton Ross has the full scoop on format changes for the new Survivor season, and I like all of them -- no Redemption Island; tribes separated by gender but living on one beach; more complicated hidden immunity idol rules; and some contestant-run challenges. Of course, as always, it depends on the cast -- which, phew, includes no returning players.
Some singing show comes back tonight for its eleventh season. I cannot imagine paying attention until Hollywood Week, and even then, I feel like I've seen everything the show can do (and certainly with these non-judging judges). Unless there's remarkable talent, I think my Season Pass will be short-lived.

2012-01-18T12:11:00.002-05:00

UNRELIABLE NARRATOR PROBLEM: Does anyone particularly want to buy the memoir of Josh Radnor's "spiritual awakening" (which naturally involves "drinking an indigenous plant medicine called ayahuasca with a shaman in Brazil")? Anyone?

2012-01-18T09:05:00.001-05:00

Y'ALL CAN'T BE PLAYING NO CHECKERS ON NO CHESSBOARD: I have a feeling that one's opinion of The Wire's third episode, "The Buys," will rest upon whether D'Angelo's explanation of the rules of chess (and the drug trade) struck you as intelligent and gripping, or a bit anvil-heavy and too-clever-by half ...

Now, the king, he move one space any direction he damn choose, 'cause he's the king. Like this, this, this, a'ight? But he ain't got no hustle. But the rest of these motherfuckers on the team, they got his back. And they run so deep, he really ain't gotta do shit....

It wasn't just in that scene where I felt like the writers were underlining things a bit too heavily -- Stringer Bell's explanation of the new product; the unsuitability of some of the police officers at the scene of the raid; the frustrations of police bureaucracy.

These right here, these are the pawns. They like the soldiers. They move like this, one space forward only. Except when they fight, then it's like this. And they like the front lines, they be out in the field.

We get it, D. You're a pawn, hell, McNulty's a pawn too, and you both don't understand why the drug trade has to be so violent. ("Everything else in this country gets sold without people shooting each other behind it.") But Bubbles remains awesome. And I still don't remember the names of 2/3 of the pawns. I am still very much into the show, but I can't say that this episode lived up to its reputation.

administrative note: We've discussed whether folks are enjoying episodes so quickly that a deviation from the one-per-week recap format is justified. I remain open to your suggestions.

2012-01-18T00:01:00.021-05:00

CRAP. WHAT IF I FORGET THE BOOT ORDER OF SURVIVOR: HEROES V. VILLAINS? This blog, of course, takes no official position on the Stop Online Privacy Act and Protect IP Act, which promise to [ruin]/[save] the Internet as we know it by [kowtowing to]/[protecting the legitimate interests of] content creators such as [Edge]/[The Edge] by granting them [unprecedented and unjustified]/[necessary] powers to thwart the [free flow]/[theft] of their intellectual property.

Wikipedia has gone black for this 24h period in protest, however, and on that we as a blog have two roles to play: (1) please catalog here all the Wiki searches you're doing today before forgetting that you can't do them today, and (2) let us help you. Our hive mind isn't quite as large as The Entire Internet's, but we can half-ass a reasonable-sounding answer just as well as anyone else.

2012-01-17T23:23:00.002-05:00

WHY, IT'S MORE THAN WUNDERBAR!. Although Victor Garber seems destined never to return to Glee, we do have some theatrically nifty parental casting news. Joining Jeff Goldblum (as to whom I say "??") as 0ne of Rachel's dads is none other than Brian Stokes Mitchell, whose bombast in recent years seems quite directionally appropriate for this season's (not to mention tonight's episode's, in particular) whiplash.

2012-01-17T21:14:00.003-05:00

SPOILER ALERT: ANNE BOLEYN SHOULD NOT BUY ANY GREEN BANANAS: Linda Holmes laments that fiction by women does get reviewed, but women are rarely given the literary it-person superstar full monty.* I don't read enough book reviews to comment on that, but I will venture one prediction: the biggest literary it-person superstar full monties this year will go to Suzanne Collins (in the J.K. Rowling mass market lowbrow division for commercial domination) and Hillary Mantel (in the highbrow division).

As to the latter, consider this. Mantel's Wolf Hall, a sprawling, funny, sad novel about Thomas Cromwell's rise and Thomas More's decline, won the Man Booker Prize in 2009. The sequel, which presumably will cover the rest of Cromwell's life, is now due in May. I would say that Wolf Hall was the best book I read in the last five years, except that a few months ago, Amazon released A Place of Greater Safety, Mantel's incredible 2007 novel about the French Revolution, for the Kindle, and that may, may have been even better -- even funnier, sadder, and more sprawling than Wolf Hall.

Two swallows do not a summer make, I am told, and the 2012 results may not look, in the aggregate, much different from the 2011 numbers. All I'm saying is that my prediction is that the biggest it-person superstars this year are not going to be Brooklynites with ironic neck-beards.

*That's a verbatim quote, but the quotation marks are killing my HTML, so please don't accuse me of failing to quote and attribute.

2012-01-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

PLAY THE BLUES: An article in Wednesday's NYT on the Spider-Man producers' countersuit against original director Julie Taymor occasions a return to the ALOTT5MA Style Desk:

Bono, who worked with Ms. Taymor to develop “Spider-Man” for several years and had once called her “my close friend,” wrote an e-mail last Jan. 7 criticizing her for “shooting ideas down before taking time to understand them,” according to the producers’ lawsuit. (Bono wrote the score of the musical with his band mate the Edge.)

Isn't it "The Edge"? Or, perhaps, "Edge"? In the pleadings (a rollicking read), the producers' attorneys (from K&E) mostly use the former. Referring to him as "the Edge" just seems the wrong.

2012-01-17T14:51:00.002-05:00

THE KING STAY THE KING: Quick reminder that tomorrow is Wire Wednesday; do watch "The Buys" and be prepared to discuss.

2012-01-17T09:17:00.000-05:00

THE GREATEST: Muhammad Ali turns 70 today.

When ESPN did their SportsCentury list of the top 100 athletes of the 20th Century, Ali came in third behind Michael Jordan and Babe Ruth. I think you can make a legitimate case for six of the athletes in the top seven (which also includes Gretzky, Owens, and Thorpe), but I still think they got it wrong. (At a minimum, it shouldn't have been Jordan, who did not do to his sport's record books or overall popularity what Ruth or Gretzky did, and who carried none of the burdens of Ali, Owens, or Thorpe.)

2012-01-17T08:01:00.000-05:00

THE PUPPY-BASKET OF LATE-NIGHT TALK-SHOW HOSTS: The AV Club's Steve Hyden pens an appreciation of Jimmy Fallon:

Jimmy Fallon isn’t the funniest man in late-night; that’s still a toss-up between Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. But Fallon doesn’t try to compete for that distinction. His greatest, most unique gift as a late-night personality is that he doesn’t have to be funny to be entertaining. There are episodes of Late Night where I’m pretty sure I never laughed out loud once. I don’t know if I can recall a single Fallon one-liner off the top of my head. Nobody is going to accuse Fallon of being a comic genius. This is a good thing. Not being saddled with that baggage seems to make Fallon a lot more relaxed than his peers. Compared with the sweat-drenched desperation that’s so obviously apparent in Jay Leno or even the all-time favorite of comedy nerdom, O’Brien—the compulsive need to always be funny that’s alienating when the comedy isn’t working—Fallon is appealing in the manner of the popular kid in school. Yes, his good looks and confidence might make you hate him at first, but after a while, it’s just nice to be around someone who’s comfortable in his own skin.

2012-01-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

BECAUSE YOU KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY: Lionel Richie's "Hello," the motion picture supercut.

2012-01-16T15:01:00.000-05:00

THE O.D.B. COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE COMMITTED ALL THOSE CRIMES. COOLIO DID SOME OF THAT SHIT: Chris Rock's insistent words in "No Sex in the Champagne Room" may not have quite been correct. Russell Jones' FBI file has been FOIAed and released, and apparently Wu-Tang was not exclusively for the children: in 1999, the FBI was contemplating indicting all 36 chambers of the Clan under RICO for crimes it allegedly committed as an organization.

2012-01-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

THERE WILL BE PEACE 4 THOSE WHO LOVE GOD A LOT: Graffiti Bridge is airing on the Encore channel today, and I couldn't help but wonder: is there a movie with a more skewed ratio of Quality of Soundtrack: Quality of Film? If we can establish the metric where this film represents 1.0 GBs and The Graduate is 0 GBs (film and soundtrack are equally good), is Trainspotting at 0.2 GBs? Does any film exceed 1.0 GBs?

2012-01-14T21:40:00.001-05:00

THIS CHAMBER SUPPORTS MATH: I spent this weekend at the [No Politics Rule] state committee meeting to lead a training on [that stuff I do], but I need to remark on one element of the endorsement meeting for statewide candidates held at the end. According to Rule 16 of the rules governing the meeting, endorsement by the Party required "a two-thirds majority, 66 percent of the total votes cast."

So you can imagine my delight (really, given my history you can) that a state committee member from the south-central part of the Commonwealth rose on a point of order to suggest that 66% was actually short of two-thirds, and that only 66 2/3% should be deemed sufficient to qualify a candidate for endorsement. Her point was, thank goodness, accepted by the chair.

2012-01-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

TEBOWIE: Jimmy Fallon awesomeness, again. (Open thread for all football discussion this weekend.)

2012-01-13T16:06:00.002-05:00

IT'S ALL IN THE GAME, YO (ANSWER KEY): Answers for the least-played game of all time, Wire Character or Real Person or Non-Wire Fictitious Character or Product or Thing after the jump. Newbies: to prevent spoilers, I will identify Wire characters by affiliation (e.g., "Barksdale Organization" or "Felix Arellano Cartel") but will not say anything about their role or characterization.

Sherman McCoy: Fictive! Bond trader, Bonfire of the Vanities.

Shamrock McGinty: Wire! Barksdale organization.

Pepper Schwartz: Real! Famous sex researcher.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson: Real! Football player, New York Jets.

Fat Face Rick: Wire! Co-op.

Disco Duck: Fictive! Novelty song title-character.

Proposition Joe: Wire! East Side.

Stinky Pete: Fictive! Toy Story 2. This is who I think of every time Spacewoman calls Prop Joe "Prospector Joe."

Ant-Man: Fictive! Hilariously underpowered and insecure Marvel superhero.

Cockroach: Fictive! Theo Huxtable best friend, The Cosby Show. Also: Thing! Insect.

Spider: Wire! Stanfield organization. Also: Thing! Arachnid.

Frog: Wire! Docks-area crime. Also: Thing! Amphibian.

Bug: Wire! Child. Also: Thing! Bug.

Donut: Wire! Child. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Cheese: Wire! East Side. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Churro: Thing! Delicious.

Big Tuna: Fictive! Jim Halpert, The Office.

Fruit: Wire! Stanfield organization. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Sunny D: Product! Sugared beverage. Would also accept: Fictive! Nobody calls it that.

Puddin': Wire! Barksdale. Also: Thing! Delicious.

Boner: Fictive! Mike Seaver's best friend, Growing Pains. Also: Thing! Erection.

Squeak: Wire! Barksdale organization ladies' auxiliary.

Mike Boogie: Real! Club impresario/Big Brother contestant.

Snot Boogie: Wire! Neighborhood person. Also: Real! According to the book Homicide.

Boogie Shoes Whitaker: Fictive! Showrunner, Sports Night (the show-within-a-show, not the show).

Billy White Shoes Johnson: Real! Oilers/Falcons football player, Funky Chicken infection vector.

Mr. Schue: Fictive! Rapper.

Wee Man: Real! Jackass skateboarder/stunt person.

Little Man: Wire! Barksdale organization.

Little Kevin: Wire! Stanfield organization.

Li'l Abner: Fictive! Comic-strip hillbilly; 1930s-and '40s-style "confirmed bachelor."

Big Roy: Wire! Docks.

Big Boi: Real! OutKast.

Big Country: Real! Large basketball player. Also: Real! Unintelligible band.

Hungry Man: Real! Co-op. Also: Product! Prepared meal.

Nikos Kazantzakis: Real! Author, poet.

Toula Portakalos: Fictive! Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

White Mike: Wire! East Side.

Black Francis: Real! Pixies.

Johnny Quest: Fictive! Johnny Quest.

Johnny Fifty: Wire! Docks.

Johnny Weeks: Wire! West Side.

Johnny Ola: Fictive! Godfather 2. Would also accept: Sopranos.

Johnny Sack: Fictive! Sopranos.

Lassie: Fictive! Dog.

Ziggy: Wire! Docks. Also: Fictive! Comic strip philosopher.

Woodstock: Fictive! Peanuts.

Horse-Face: Wire! Docks.

Two-Face: Fictive! Batman.

Old-Face Andre: Wire! Stanfield organization.

2012-01-13T11:06:00.002-05:00

EVERYBODY HOP IN THE DELOREAN: Particularly since I'm not a big sports person, perhaps my favorite feature at Grantland is "Rembert Explains the 80s," in which the older members of Grantland's staff select a YouTube video from the 80s for 24 year-old writer Rembert Browne to watch and comment on. This week, he takes on a random episode of Double Dare. Prior installments have included such 80s artifacts as ALF, Manimal, and Bosom Buddies, and are collected here.

2012-01-13T10:58:00.004-05:00

IT'S ALL IN THE GAME, YO: Vets and newbies, Barksdales and Natural Police, Greeks and Docks: It's time to engage in that timeless pastime, Wire Character or Real Person or Non-Wire Fictitious Character or Product or Thing?. Newbies: no commentary here, but if you consider names to be spoilers, don't play. The Internet is cheating.

Sherman McCoy

Shamrock McGinty

Pepper Schwartz

D'Brickashaw Ferguson

Fat Face Rick

Disco Duck

Proposition Joe

Stinky Pete

Ant-Man

Cockroach

Spider

Frog

Donut

Cheese

Churro

Big Tuna

Fruit

Sunny D

Puddin'

Boner

Squeak

Mike Boogie

Snot Boogie

Boogie Shoes Whitaker

Billy White Shoes Johnson

Mr. Schue

Wee Man

Little Man

Little Kevin

Li'l Abner

Big Roy

Big Boi

Big Country

Hungry Man

Nikos Kazantzakis

Toula Portakalos

White Mike

Black Francis

Johnny Quest

Johnny Fifty

Johnny Weeks

Johnny Ola

Johnny Sack

Lassie

Ziggy

Woodstock

Horse-Face

Two-Face

Old-Face Andre

2012-01-13T10:22:00.003-05:00

HER SMILE THAT REMINDS YOU OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES IS NOT PROBATIVE EVIDENCE: Somehow, W. Axl Rose managed to get on a civil jury in California, which apparently reached verdict rather than spending 15 years arguing about what the verdict should say and who should be included in the credits.

2012-01-13T08:43:00.000-05:00

1 ACROSS, FIVE LETTERS: "JENNA MARONEY'S FIRST NAME": Welcome back, 30 Rock. I missed you. (Favorite freeze-frame: on the movie theater marquee: "The Help 2: Still Helpin'"). And the Timeless Torches is a real thing.

2012-01-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

RES IPSA LOQUITOR: The CW has ordered ten episodes of an "extreme musical chairs" game show it is titling ... wait for it ... Oh Sit!

2012-01-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

THIS DOCUMENT DOES NOT ADVOCATE OR CONDONE THE EXTINCTION OR BETRAYAL OF EWOKS: Exactly what happened to the mass of debris created by the destruction of the Second Death Star, so close to the Forest Moon of Endor? Theoretical astrophysicist Curtis Saxton explains (and that the article is titled "Ewok Holocaust" may spoil the ending), and it's one of six movies discussed in Cracked's 6 Horrible Aftermaths Implied By Movies With Happy Endings.

2012-01-11T22:54:00.000-05:00

THAT'S A DEALBREAKER: Quick recommendation to pass along, which I learned via Isaac and Spaceboy 1.0 during my visit to Greater Fairyland last fall—if you've got a child age 7+, Monopoly Deal is a super-addictive card game involving tons of strategery, and is a great gateway drug to Monopoly proper. Isaac will appreciate that by Game 3, she already was playing a Just Say No to my Just Say No on a Dealbreaker.

If you have recommendations for games, toys and whatnot for the young ones, or slightly older or younger ones, do share.

2012-01-11T08:25:00.001-05:00

SOMETIMES STATE QUARTERS KNEW ABRAHAM LINCOLN IN HIS YOUNGER DAYS, WHEN HE STILL WENT BY DICK WHITMAN: The Hairpin reviews the fifty state quarters (and DC), as we did in November 2008.

2012-01-11T07:55:00.000-05:00

NO, OFFICER PRYZBYLEWSKI, HE DID NOT "PISS YOU OFF." HE MADE YOU FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY AND THAT OF YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS: The remarkable thing to me about episode two of our Wire Wednesday recaps, "The Detail," is just how less-that-awesome these police officers are. Yes, we've got our team together, but on the whole what an unimpressive bunch of rejects and knuckleheads. So when Herk, Prez and Carter make their way to the high rises at night for no reason I can discern, bad things inevitably happen.

The other thing, of course, is that we have a meeting between McNulty (and Bunk) with D'Angelo Barksdale, far earlier than I would have expected in the series. There's no lengthy stalking-and-avoiding, just a casual sitdown in the middle of the low-rises where they sit, talk ("Why can't you sell the shit and walk the fuck away? Everything else in this country gets sold without shooting people behind it"), and arrest just for the hell of it, where some elementary-level interrogation deception (with the picture and the false story about Gant) almost leads somewhere with the letter ... and then it doesn't. D'Angelo may think he's playing a smart game with the police, but sometimes you need to lawyer up.

Other topics of note for the comments: Chicken McNuggets; the awesomeness of the red hats. Yes, the smartest thing done on the police side this week was a scheme by their junkie informant. Welcome to Baltimore.

2012-01-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

I WANT TO GO TO THERE: As part of his rundown of the duck-centric menus at NYC's Momofuku Ssäm Bar and Wong, new NYT restaurant critic Pete ("Dexter's Dad") Wells describes a Wong soup thusly:

It looks like the kind of wan consommé you’d feed an invalid who was too weak to come to the table. But this little cup swings like a heavyweight. It’s profoundly rich and concentrated, and floating on top of the broth is at least a quarter-inch of hot duck fat.

Repeat: a quarter-inch of hot duck fat.

The fat coats your lips and your tongue, and then as you drink the broth it all mixes together into a cup of soup richer than any I’ve ever encountered. In fact, it is nearly as rich as hot chocolate. Not hot cocoa, which is for amateurs, but hot chocolate of the kind served in France, luxurious in heavy cream and cocoa butter. What we have here is a savory duck hot chocolate.

2012-01-10T20:57:00.002-05:00

CAREFUL THE FILMS YOU MAKE, CHILDREN WILL WATCH THEM: Into the Woods is arguably the most accessible Sondheim musical, and given its fairy-tale roots, I'm actually surprised that it hasn't made its way to the big screen yet, but Disney is apparently putting it back on the fast track, this time in a Rob Marshall-directed version which will allegedly get new Sondheim songs. I'm wondering if they've finally got a concept that works--the show uses a narrator who inserts himself into the action, which is tricky to do in a film, and I assume we can expect a star-studded cast. (Obligatory suggestion--NPH and Anne Hathaway as Baker and Baker's Wife.)

2012-01-10T17:06:00.002-05:00

I CAN FEEL IT BURNING: John Parr has reworked his 1985 hit "St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)" as a tribute to Tim Tebow. The results of "Tim Tebow's Fire" are pretty much what you'd expect.

2012-01-10T16:10:00.000-05:00

ALTHOUGH THIS WORLD IS A CRAZY RIDE, YOU JUST TAKE YOUR SEAT AND HOLD ON TIGHT: In recognition of Jay-Z's "Glory," Buzzfeed collects the videos for 22 songs written about the artist's son or daughter. (Songfacts tallies 102.)

2012-01-10T13:07:00.002-05:00

DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAD CHARISMA 18? Sadly, the online version of the NYT story about the upcoming reboot of Dungeons & Dragons doesn't include the photo of d20 Burlesque, the only (I assume) burlesque troupe devoted to the gaming community.

2012-01-10T10:43:00.002-05:00

I SUPPOSE WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO A PUBLIC EDITOR COLUMN ON THIS ONE: So, Sunday's NYT crossword contained the clue "Wack, in hip-hop," with the answer being ILLIN, which led to an exchange between Will Shortz and a hip-hop fan over the correctness or lack thereof of the clue.

2012-01-10T08:05:00.000-05:00

WHAT A PISSER: NYMag presents an abbreviated history of fourth-wall breaking:

2012-01-09T17:59:00.002-05:00

ALL THAT AND AN IKEA JOKE: I love David Fincher. I loved Fight Club, liked Panic Room, loved Social Network, know I will love Zodiac once I see it (Adam, why didn't you tell me this was any good?), love his signature touches (the dim taupe palette, the heroic credit sequences), and love his furtive sense of humor. Example: In Fight Club, Tyler Durden tells a possibly fabricated story about how he used to work in a theater and splice single frames of male anatomy into the movies so that the audience would receive them subliminally, and then, as Fight Club reaches its climax, Fincher does the same thing. It's just about a frame, barely enough to notice; not enough to interrupt the narrative; plenty enough to insinuate himself, and maybe you, into Durden's japery.

Spacewoman and I have decided, therefore, that Fincher was sharing a little in-joke with readers of his source material when, in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the first thing Mikael Blomkvist does is order a sandwich. The sandwiches! This is an exceedingly violent movie, but there probably are more sandwiches than guns. Well played, David Fincher.

2012-01-09T15:31:00.000-05:00

WELCOME TO IMMORTALITY, WHICH REMAINS A SCHLEP FROM THE MAJOR HIGHWAYS: Congratulation to Barry Larkin, elected today to the National Baseball Hall of Fame with 86.4% of the vote. (Our vote tally is here.) He will be inducted along with the late Ron Santo this July.

Jack Morris (66.7%), Jeff Bagwell (56%), Tim Raines (48.7%), and Alan Trammell (36.8%) each gained more than 10% this time around; Mark McGwire remains stable (19.5%); Bernie Williams (9.6%) remains under consideration for another year, while two-time AL MVP Juan Gonzalez (4.0%) falls off the ballot after his second year of eligibility.

2012-01-09T08:51:00.001-05:00

I HATE GREEK DRAMA, YOU KNOW, WHEN EVERYTHING HAPPENS OFFSTAGE: I only started watching Downton Abbey about two weeks ago (that's a lot of Edwardian drama to shovel into just a few days), but am now firmly in the (side)saddle and eager to discuss the season 2 premiere. Just a few thoughts on my end to kick things off (noting, however, that if you have never watched Downton but have the intention to do so at some point in your lifetime, you shouldn't read this post any further lest there be spoilers) :

I am a big suspender of disbelief, but there is something bothering me. I can buy the fact that Matthew Crawley is sufficiently dense not to realize that Mary is sending "Dude I Still Love You, You Nitwit" smoke signals from her tormented eyes, but is there really any universe in which Mary wouldn't have told Cora -- at some point during the two years that have elapsed since Season 1's conclusion -- that Edith was the one who spilled The Secret to Pamuk's father?
I was glad to see from the pre-show interview with Elizabeth McGovern that her odd Americo-Brit accent on the show is in fact Elizabeth McGovern's own odd Americo-Brit accent, stemming from years of living in London and picking up that weird British intonation thing that all Americans living in London for more than 15 minutes seem to be affilicted with, rather than a studied dialect decision.
Lady Sybil is to-die-for gorgeous.
This show has an odd habit of making all of its characters reasonably well-rounded except for those who we are intended to roundly dislike, who are one-dimensionally awful. Thomas, O'Brien, Edith . . . not a redeeming characteristic among them. The good news, however, is that Bates's surprise visitor would seem to make the usual suspects seem nuanced and three-dimensional.
Lack of Verisimilitude Department: After also having watched Jude Law in Contagion this weekend, I am struck by the fact that Downton Abbey apparently employs the best dentist in all of England.

Who's watching?

2012-01-09T08:04:00.002-05:00

GREEN FOURTEEN COSMOPOLITAN: Originally, I wasn't going to post anything about Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby naming decision, but then I overheard a heated discussion among several checkout ladies at my supermarket on the subject, and it was clear that this was Major News. So, yes, Blue Ivy Carter it is, and if you believe the chatterati, she's named for her daddy's favorite color and her mama's favorite number. Deep. (And do people actually have favorite numbers once their age hits double digits?)

(I personally have no particular affection for the initial, incorrectly reported variation of Ivy Blue Carter, as it sounds a bit too much like the girl whose eyes were as blue as the Bonnie Blue flag.)

2012-01-08T20:23:00.000-05:00

AS ONE OBSERVER TWEETED, IT TOOK LONGER TO EXPLAIN OVERTIME THAN TO PLAY IT: Yes, that was something. Pure coincidence that the Denver quarterback finished with 316 yards in the shortest overtime in NFL history.

2012-01-08T08:26:00.000-05:00

JUST FOR ONE DAY: In honor of David Bowie's 65th birthday today, The Mirror (UK) recounts 65 facts and myths regarding the Thin White Duke, runs 65 pictures, and explores his present mostly-retirement in New York.

2012-01-07T08:46:00.002-05:00

WE ARE LUCKY. WE GET TO MANUFACTURE MAGIC AND, IN SO DOING, PRODUCE A PRODUCT THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE: Somewhere in the deep recesses of your memories, you may recall hearing of a "Katzenberg memo" which was a big deal in the movie industry about twenty years ago, a manifesto faxed all over town for its decrying a “tidal wave of runaway costs and mindless competition,” calling for Disney to turn away from blockbusters like Dick Tracy and from paying excessive fees for celebrity talent. ("It is a performer’s talent that can make a film a success. Celebrity can be an important bonus, but celebrity is really all about timing.") A memo which became so notorious that it prompted a young, more hirsute Alec Baldwin into calling Katzenberg "the eighth dwarf—Greedy."

Letters of Note has reprinted the 28-page Jeffrey Katzenberg memo dated January 11 1991, "Some Thoughts On Our Business." It's a great longread:

In the dizzying world of moviemaking, we must not be distracted from one fundamental concept: the idea is king. Stars, directors, writers, hardware, special effects, new sound systems… all of these can have a role to play in the success of a film, but they must all serve as humble subjects to the supremacy of the idea....

This is the key for controlling our destiny -- to have the courage to search out authentic, great ideas… and then have the steadfastness to control the material that is subsequently developed.

If the idea and the screenplay are strong, then it is possible to hire a less established star and a less established director and as a result be less of a hostage to the marketplace. Or, conversely, an idea and a screenplay can be so great as to attract major talent, who will be sufficiently excited that they will agree to terms that are acceptable to us.

The irony, as the above LA Times story notes, is that if anyone succeeded in this path it wasn't Katzenberg's next venture, Dreamworks SKG, but rather Pixar ... which Disney acquired.

2012-01-06T13:16:00.003-05:00

A RECAP OF A SHOW I'VE NEVER SEEN: Last night, or perhaps some night prior or subsequent to last night, marked or will the debut of hit network comedy Work It, which ABC loves so much that it stuffed Cougar Town in a trunk and buried it under the basement. I didn't watch, but I think I've seen enough in commercials and TV criticism to offer this guaranteed 100%-accurate review:

Work It is a show from successful creators Pauly Shore and Martin Vanger about two guys who wear flannel unironically and who are so heterosexually masculine that they can impregnate women just by pheremoning at them. When the Feminocracy targets them for the unpardonable crime of hirsute virility, they are given disgustingly effete pink slips and forced to look for new jobs.

Of course, the only jobs available in this swishy economy are in the combined cosmetic/pharma sales/prostitute industry. So Sucre from Prison Break and Bland Don from Bland TV Writers Fantasize that Robin Shirbatsky Is Attracted to Bland Men are forced to stow their guns, chewing tabacky, and power tools, tuck their other stuff where it don't show, and dress like Matthew Modine in Phoebe Cates's Private School just to get by. They wear dresses and speak in falsetto and hope not to be unmasked when they belch and fart through meetings, because man-gas cannot be contained. Sucre discovers that beneath his veneer of one-note stereotypical masclinity are unplumbed depths of one-note spicy latina stereotypes. Bland Don learns that women are too dumb to know the difference between women and barely disguised men, but that this is because all of their evolutionary intelligence has been funneled into studying the impenetrable mysteries of beauty and fashion. Both discover that aged doctors just cannot keep their hands off of professional saleswomen, especially those with visible five-o'clock shadows and bulging muscles. And also Bland Don sleeps with the doctors, because he wants to get ahead at work but also because he likes to taste the forbidden fruit, and for Bland Don's success, Sucre is secretly jealous and ultimately murders Bland Don in his sleep. Roll credits!

Pretty sure that's all accurate.

2012-01-06T08:08:00.000-05:00

ALOTT5MA FRIDAY PLAYLIST: We haven't done one of these in a while, but a reader made the request via Twitter: "On ALOTT5MA Music Friday, could I request a list of Positive Songs, in honor of the new year?"

2012-01-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

WE SAY HALLOWED BUT ALLOWED: A 1922 poem by Gerard Nolst Trenité called "The Chaos" is making the rounds:

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

It keeps going.

2012-01-05T18:44:00.001-05:00

DOES THE LADY CHABLIS APPROVE? The Girl Scouts will be adding Savannah Smiles cookies to the mix this year, "a lemon-wedge shortbread cookie dusted with powdered sugar ... cool and crisp, with just the right number of lemon chips to deliver tiny bursts of flavor." CSM notes:

Not all cookie varieties are quite so successful. The Girl Scouts have discontinued scores of cookie varieties during the program’s run, including Aloha Chips (with macadamia nuts and white chocolate chips), Apple Cinnamons, Double Dutch (chocolate cookies with chocolate chips), and the raspberry jam-filled Ice Berry Piñatas.

Despite Girl Scouts' efforts to make their cookies healthier (in 2007, several recipes were reworked so that they had zero trans-fat), the health-minded cookie offerings sell terribly. Many sugar-free and 100-calorie cookies have been briefly available, all disappearing quickly. Daisy Go Rounds, a 100-calorie replacement of the retired Cinna-Spins, only lasted two years (2009-2011).

Here's our previous discussion of the Core Six cookies.

2012-01-05T10:26:00.001-05:00

IT HADN'T BEEN YOU: Linda Holmes would like a disclaimer system in place to let us know when music has been replaced in streaming and dvd releases of tv shows and films because of rights restrictions. While watching When Harry Met Sally via Amazon digital download, she notes with regret how the ending is butchered:

We briefly reunite with the original soundtrack for Connick's plinking piano on "But Not For Me" and a quiet "Isn't It Romantic?" And then back to "But Not For Me," and then ... and then in the movie, there is a climactic moment when Frank Sinatra kicks in: "It had to be you." This is the moment that drives the entire concluding sequence of the film. Frank Sinatra is it. The alpha and the omega of love in New York on New Year's Eve, and instead of freaking Frank Sinatra singing a standard, the digital download gives you ... generic saxophone noodling.

It's pretty much an entirely different sequence, without any of the sense of inevitability and destiny — not to mention, you know, romance — that you get from Frank Sinatra kicking in.

2012-01-05T09:48:00.000-05:00

WHO IS KAREEM ABDUL-JABAAR? We've discussed a few of these before, but Mental Floss's 10 Classic Moments on Jeopardy! compilation nicely includes them all in one place.

2012-01-04T20:43:00.000-05:00

PAGING GUS AND HERA FROM THE AMAZING RACE: Via sconstant, Ikea instructions for the Hadron Collider.

2012-01-04T12:09:00.002-05:00

THE THING WITH THE ESCAPE FROM THE PLACE THAT TIME: The long-gestating Broadway musical Houdini (which has been through several book writers, including Kurt Andersen, and several score writers, including Danny Elfman) allegedly is finally moving forward with Hugh Jackman (who's been attached for quite some time) as Houdini, a new score from Stephen Schwartz (his first since Wicked, and somewhat surprisingly, he doesn't have a Tony--Wicked lost to Avenue Q, Pippin lost to A Little Night Music, and Godspell lost to Annie), and a book from Aaron Sorkin (looking to leave himself with only a Grammy to go EGOT).

2012-01-04T10:31:00.003-05:00

ON WATCHING AND REWATCHING THE WIRE: Just a few procedural comments for people approaching the series with some trepidation (which surely you are, since something had to keep you from the #1 prescribed television show of the last decade):

Train yourself to watch carefully. For one thing, with thirteen episodes a season (eleven in Season 5), there wasn't a lot of room for filler, for how-did-Jack-get-that-tattoo? or there's-a-black-market-in-the-convoy or I'm-having-this-weird-dream-of-being-a-salesman-in-Costa-Mesa or maybe-Joey-loves-Rachel-for-a-while-now. More importantly, though, David Simon & Co. subscribe to the butterfly-flaps-its-wings theory, in which seemingly unimportant acts can have significant consequences. So pay attention.
Having difficulty with the language? Some of you may prefer to think of the patois in The Wire as an invented language, like Klingon or Dothraki. Simon has said (chortle) that the slang on the street changes so fast that the only way to achieve verisimilitude without seeming archaic was to make up new slang. Favorite examples: the use of the word "behind" to mean "because of," and the drug names that the dealers use. In any event, the slang may be daunting at first, but once you internalize it, you'll really want to start using it itself.
Do not use Wire slang in public, unless you are an actor of the caliber of the actors on The Wire.
Except for Clay Davis's catch phrase. That one translates.
It was perhaps three weeks ago that you held the opinion that people who keep insisting that you watch The Wire should just shut up about it, you're not the boss of me, god, how annoying. Please remember this, because in a few weeks you will be insisting that your friends watch The Wire. And then you will be the one who should just shut up about it, you're not the boss of them, god, how annoying.
There is a corollary to the above point. Every succeeding group of viewers that comes to The Wire seems to irritate many of the people who have already watched it -- ugh, those Johnny-come-latelies, offering their belated analyses and to-be-disproven hypotheses, as if the show is going on right now instead of eleven-to-three years ago -- even if the newly irritable just watched the show three months ago. Those of us who have already seen the program should remind ourselves regularly that only the succeeding generations of Wire-watchers rescue us from being the last people to discover the show.

2012-01-04T08:00:00.002-05:00

GOT TO. THIS IS AMERICA, MAN: Even if I had never read a word about The Wire before watching its pilot episode, "The Target," I'd probably recognize (I hope) that this is not a world in which it's likely that McNulty is going to decimate the Avon Barksdale drug ring, become a hero, and live happily ever after. (Maybe I'm wrong: don't spoil!)

Compared to Homicide: Life on the Street, with much of the same crew in front of and behind the camera, everything and everyone feels more worn down, stuck. No showy camera moves (save the flashback) no chase scenes and dramatic interrogations in The Box; what we see in "The Target" instead is a lot of meetings and hierarchies of power. On Homicide, Giardello was clearly in charge and powerful from day one; I don't see anyone that commanding on the police side in this Baltimore, thus far.

This is a Baltimore in which no one's bothering to look at the strippers anymore; life just keeps going on, with little incentive to get too excited. The guy who steals money from the craps game every week keeps playing, because petty theft is tolerated as long as there's a decent ass-whuppin' to be had, just like not-cleared murders aren't something to raise a fuss about even when a Judge asks you about them, just like it's okay to shoot a mouse when you have to get rid of a mouse, just like how the police still don't have computers instead of typewriters. And if someone thinks Alexander Hamilton was a President, it's not worth fighting him too hard on it. Givin' a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck is not tolerated in Baltimore.

A pointer from Alan Sepinwall, from his essential "Wire for newbies" recap:

[F]or the most part, "The Wire" took a very different approach to narrative from any series in American history, so much so that it essentially had to teach you how to watch it. The cast is huge -- and the season one cast is tiny in comparison to later seasons, which would bring in new characters from the Baltimore docks, City Hall, schools, newspapers, homeless community, etc. -- and almost everyone you meet will play a key role in the unfolding storylines.

2012-01-03T23:26:00.003-05:00

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING WITH THE HELP OF AUTOTUNE? After much jockeying, the final two big parts in Les Miserables have apparently been cast. Amanda Seyfried (who warbled credibly in Mamma Mia!) has been offered Cosette, and Taylor Swift has been offered Eponnine. Not sure what this means for the film's artistic prospects (beyond being a sure bet for a mess of Golden Globe nominations), but certainly would not seem to hurt the commercial prospects. Cast already includes Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, and Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter (as the Thernadiers).

2012-01-03T09:20:00.003-05:00

IT'S A DOGGY DOGG PRICING GAME:As Our Friend Linda Holmes put it, "If you woke up this morning thinking, 'What I need is a clip of Snoop Dogg hanging out on The Price Is Right helping a lady win at Plinko,' then you are in luck." Indeed you are. Later this week, according to the article--appearances from Jenny McCarthy, Chris Daughtry, Heidi Klum (who I'm sure will remind the TPIR models that zis is also a competition for you too as well), and NPH.

2012-01-03T08:12:00.001-05:00

THE HY-VEE IN ~~CEDAR RAPIDS~~ CEDAR FALLS WHERE KURT WARNER USED TO STOCK SHELVES. JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK: Name something you like about Iowa.

2012-01-02T16:06:00.003-05:00

ALSO, BE MORE SMARTER: It's January 2, which means that I'm a day late asking you what your resolutions were? Remember, write them down -- that's what makes them come true. Or something.

Mine: (1) build a desk for my office, to be ready when my firm moves to the new space; (2) the usual lose-5-to-10-pounds; (3) maintain three-star status on all (non-Facebook-only) updated levels of Angry Birds, Angry Birds Seasons, and Angry Birds Rio.

2012-01-02T09:08:00.000-05:00

RATE YOURSELF AND RAKE YOURSELF AND RUN BETTER RUN, FASTER THAN MY BULLET: Philadelphia's adult-alternative WXPN 88.5 FM has placed two songs ahead of the two Adele songs in its year-end top 100.

2012-01-01T20:54:00.001-05:00

A WORLD IN WHITE GETS UNDERWAY: Randy ranks the ten songs which topped the Billboard charts on New Years Day in each year of the 1980s. Seriously underrates "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)", and as for "Say You Say Me," well, I've got a problem with that tune.

2012-01-01T15:38:00.002-05:00

WHEN DID THESE GET DECLARED? A (likely incomplete) list of Wars you can view on your television screen over the next few weeks (at least according to my searching):

Parking
Cupcake
Storage (both ordinary and Texas versions)
Shipping
Star (Episodes IV-VI)
Prom
Monster Bug
Border
Swamp
L.A. Gang
Mexican Drug
The Clone
Sex

2011-12-30T21:34:00.002-05:00

EARL GRAY IS THE GREATEST TEA I'VE EVER KNOWN: Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan is transforming what was my neighborhood post office branch into a 1930s style Chinese tea house.

2011-12-30T20:30:00.000-05:00

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DAME: Congratulations to Helena Bonham Carter, who after having portrayed the Queen Mother and suffered death at the hands of Molly Weasley has been named a Commander of Order of the British Empire as part of Her Majesty's annual New Years Honours list. Also so honoured is music producer Steve Lillywhite, while golfer Darren Clarke is now an Officer of the Order of the British Empire, with Rory McIlroy a Member of the Order of the British Empire.

Hierarchy of honours explained here, which means we don't actually get to call her Dame Bonham Carter. What does it take to earn a knighthood these days? Be Jonathan Ive. The London native designed the iMac, iPod, iPhone, MacBook Air, and iPad, and is now a Knight Commander (KBE). He's 44.

2011-12-30T17:54:00.000-05:00

AND THERE WAS MUCH HUMPTY-HUMPING: Happy Samoan Skip Day!

In what will surely become fodder from some future Encyclopedia Polamalu teaser, the nation decided to just go directly from Thursday to Saturday this week to flip to the other side of the International Date Line to better align with its regional trading partners.

2011-12-30T08:55:00.001-05:00

THE YEAR IN FUNNY: As part of Splitsider's annual retrospective, do enjoy The 10 Biggest Comedy News Stories of 2011, the gloriously time-filling The Year's Best Humor Writing 2011, The Year In Comedy Podcasts, The Top 10 Moments Comedians Made Us Think, and 49 Funny Things To Look Forward To in 2012

2011-12-30T08:00:00.003-05:00

PALEOFITNESS, HOWEVER, WAS NOT: Last year, they correctly predicted the rise of hactivism, Robyn, Rooney Mara, and silent films, though they may have erred on the Jayson Werth thing. For 2012, the Washington Post's Hot or Not gurus predict big things for Michael Fassbender (duh), Kate Middleton's uterus (their words, not mine), District 12, Jessica Chastain, and Belgian malinois dogs; while suggesting that the era of hoarding, Ryan Gosling, Etsy, quinoa, Portland, and Adele is over.

More interesting, perhaps? Their Hot/Not archive going back to 1978 is online, and predictions like 1985's "Out: Culture Club; In: Frankie Goes To Hollywood" and 1996's "Out: Drew Barrymore; In: Alicia Silverstone" ... well, it's a lot like that.