A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

IN THE JINGLE JANGLE MORNING I'LL COME FOLLOWING YOU: Ma nishtana ha'Idol hazeh? On most other shows Ike Turner is not alluded to even once; tonight, he's alluded to twice. Oh, and Jason Castro's going home. I mean, really ...

• David Cook: "Hungry Like The Wolf" was sung competently, but you've got to stalk the stage when you perform a Simon LeBon song. You've got to run through the crowd, taunt and tease ... you can't just wander in a five-foot radius. "Baba O'Reily" was awesome ... until five seconds before the ending and he shouted they're all WASTED!, which was great, and then he abruptly pivoted to a total Vegas/Idol glory note ending and killed the moment.
  


• Syesha Mercado: If you're doing to climb Mt. Whitney, Mt. Mariah and Mt. Fantasia, hell, why not try to scale Tina Turner's "Proud Mary"? Because you're not Tina Turner. She's performing with a ton of confidence, but a performer can't just follow Tina's steps and make it your her own recipe ... unless she's Beyonce. And, hello?, Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" is not a personal empowerment anthem, nor is it a place for random shrieks and belting devoid of any interpretive intent, which means that Syesha should be going home, except, of course ...


• Clifford the Crunchy Muppet: "I Shot The Sheriff" was a huge sloppy mess, a calamity down there with the Scott Savols and Corey Clarks of the world. It's not a singer's song, he started badly, and then committed the Anwar Robinson sin of letting the backup singers take the chorus. "Mr. Tambourine Man" was even worse, forgetting lyrics and just not caring anymore. He's the one who should have attempted "A Change Is Gonna Come," doing it like James Taylor did on The West Wing.
  
  Dan Fienberg wants to know if this is the worst pair of final four performances ever, and the answer is "not quite": Josh Gracin once tortured us with the Bee Gees' "Jive Talkin'" and "To Love Somebody", after all.


• Young David Archuleta: "Stand By Me" was technically solid and all, and then, whoa: he may have just won the competition with the falsetto at the end, no matter how dead his eyes may remain. The falsetto wasn't quite as there on "Love Me Tender," but again it was undeniably a good performance, and if you didn't already hate him tonight's performances would not have made you dread his winning the competition.

Any doubts, America?