You would have to be very brave to choose this ordeal over simply being murdered. Maybe you'd need to also be insane.... I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE AT ALL, BUT YOU MOST CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE: The star-free Ebert horror film review I've been awaiting for a week:
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I was going to post about this last week when I saw Mark Lisanti's liveblog. Dammit.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I read that too.
ReplyDeleteI like the poster - "100% Medically Accurate"
ReplyDeleteI laughed aloud several times reading the liveblog, and now I feel like I need a Silkwood shower. So thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteOwen Gleiberman over at EW.com was not so reluctant to rate the film: B+!
I had somehow avoided any information on this beyond the title, not understanding various references on Twitter, figuring I'd have to Wikipedia it eventually. Now I've read the reviews and the live blog and...oh. Wow.
ReplyDeleteThat Ebert review in some mad way made me want to see the movie. The liveblog....not so much.
ReplyDeleteI am now thoroughly grossed out. But I can't say Ebert didn't warn me.
ReplyDeleteGleiberman seems to be making the simple point that, on novelty grounds, this was singularly disgusting. And, on that scale, a B+ seems fair.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting distinction between a movie so bad as to be awarded no stars, and a movie so beyond the realm of normal moviemaking as to simply exist outside a star-awarding system.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I will not be seeing this film. There was no chance I ever would.
If I remember correctly, Ebert gave Pink Flamingos no stars on similar grounds.
ReplyDeletePink Flamingos is on the very short list of "Movies I Walked Out Of." Handily, I wouldn't even GO INTO the theater for this Centipede thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that I'd enter a complex showing this Centipede thing, much less the actual theater itself. That looks completely awful.
ReplyDeletesorry to say it, but i must own this movie.
ReplyDeleteit's been grossing me out all day, even more so while I sit here eating lunch.
Been a while since a movie has done that.
As my friend sent when I sent over the link to the trailer, "what has been seen cannot be unseen... and now has to be seen in full."
I dissent on this one. The middle and back parts would not be getting adequate nutrition. Over time, they would get, like, scurvy, and then the front part would be dragging around dead people. I suppose it's still medically accurate, just not particularly well thought-out.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Wikipedia, canonically, this problem is to be resolved with an IV drip.
ReplyDelete