MY EYES GREW HEAVY AND MY LIPS THEY COULD NOT SPEAK: Raise a glass of summer wine this velvet morning to the iconic Lee Hazlewood, who died Saturday at the age of 78.

OH, IT IS BRO-OUGHT: For all the chatter these interminable last couple of weeks about Bonds: Do You Love Him Or Hate Him, it's nice to get a little reminder now and then about legends that are equally-firmly and less-contentiously written. As far as I know, nobody doesn't like Greg Maddux, so here's a story about Maddux vs. Bonds that Deadspin encapsulates much better than I ever could.

ANDRAE IS NOT, IN FACT, AT RED LOBSTER: New York Magazine has a lengthy cover story discussing what's happened to former Bravo reality stars, with an emphasis on Project Runway and Top Chef alums. It also answers a number of questions--why did Jay turn down his Runway prize money? How much influence do producers have over eliminations? It's well worth your time.

SCORE ONE FOR THE GIRLS: I just caught a quick glimpse of a blurb on the Captivate Network reporting that Sara Gilbert has just had a baby girl. I would find this entirely unnoteworthy except that it appears that Ms. Gilbert has impeccable taste in baby girls' names. I can't find a link yet, but I'm sure people will let me know when they do.

LF WRITER (TANK), DIRECTOR (PRIEST), CAST (DPS) (LVL 55+), THEN GTG: So, is a production company saying that they're committed to spending in excess of $100M to a 2009 release of World of Warcraft: The Motion Picture a stroke of genius or sheer idiocy? 2 million accounts in the U.S. at $10 a ticket only gets you to $20 million, folks. And anyway, didn't Trey Parker and Matt Stone already cover this?

MY EXTERNS ARE TERRIBLE AT FACT-CHECKING: Over a week has gone by, and it's still bugging me, so there's something I need to get off my chest. It started two Wednesdays ago, when Alan Sepinwall ran a correction, noting that he mistakenly wrote that CBS's upcoming Moonlight would star Bon Scott (instead of the confusingly-similarly-named Alex O'Laughlin), the former frontman for AC/DC, who has been dead for 27 years and who, even when alive, had such a profoundly unactorly mumble that until 1980 Angus Young just guessed that the song was called "Doy, TDs, Dunder, Cheat." After Alan cleared the air, it occurred to me that I need to set the record straight about a few of my own mistakes:

• As Alan himself pointed out, a few weeks ago I mistakenly wrote that Garret Dillahunt played Slippery Dan or Bummer Dan on Deadwood. Actually, he played only Fitz, Knife-Toting Manny, and Fresh-Talking Fanny.
  
• I also wrote at about the same time that Tobey Maguire played "television's Seabiscuit." I meant to refer to a puppet-theater version of Equus.
  
• A few months ago, I wrote, to the dismay of a spirited Bon Jovi partisan, that Bon Jovi's first hit was a cover of a Del Shannon song. False. It was the Manhattan Transfer.
  
• In a post about the Detroit Tigers, I referred to "second baseman Edward Teach, the Dread Pirate Blackbeard." His name, as it turns out, is Carlos Guillen. Teach was a privateer, not a pirate, and to my knowledge he is no longer playing in the major leagues.
  
• In my post about celebutard legal woes, I mistakenly said that Nicole Ritchie would be serving four days in Azkaban.
  
• My reference to "some Chinaman" in the thought piece about uses of pykrete in World War II should have read "Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme."
  
• This one's not my fault, but just to be absolutely clear, I was booing Mother Teresa, that bitch.

NEVER-NEVERLAND CRACKS DOWN ON SOFTWARE PIRACY; HOUSING STARTS DOWN IN BRIGADOON: There are local newspapers (the San Francisco Chronicle), and there are local newspapers (the Oakland Tribune, also known as The Chronological Encyclopedia of Trash-Pickup Issues and Commute-Impeding Traffic Accidents), and then there are local newspapers. I'm referring to The Montclarion, a "nondaily" newspaper of indeterminate frequency focused on the hills and foothills of Oakland, which greeted us this weekend with an above-the-fold story about, I kid you not, political intrigue in Fairyland.

Look, if a whole week (or perhaps biweek or semiweek) went by and the only news you could think of happened in Fairyland, maybe you're too local.