STILL BETTER THAN LITTLE NICKY: Even after spending the trip home thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure what to say about Funny People, particularly not without getting into spoiler territory. Yes, it's pretty ridiculously self-indulgent (not Lady In The Water self-indulgent, but having your child singing being an emotional key point in the film is pretty damn self-indulgent), and, yes, it's not the laugh riot that Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin were. The biggest thing that strikes me is that there are probably two good 90-minute movies here--one centered on the relationship between Sandler and Rogen's characters, and the other centered on the relationship between Sandler and Mann's characters. Instead, we get a 150-minute movie that tries to serve both masters but winds up satisfying neither. I'll be very interested to see deleted scenes and the like, and wonder if there might be either a shorter or a longer movie in there that's better. However, a recurrent joke about Rogen's character's real name will make at least several of our readers laugh particularly hard, and a lot of the stand-up segments sprinkled throughout the film (allegedly partially written by the performers themselves) are quite funny, as are some of the cameos (James Taylor may actually get the biggest laugh in the film). A failure, perhaps, but assuredly an interesting one.

THE ONE PLUS? ANOTHER DIANA ENG SIGHTING: The New York Times reports that reality tv contestants don't get much sleep and are encouraged to get drunk in the hopes of making better television. In other news, water is wet.

AN EQUIPMENT MANAGER'S FESTIVAL: Baseball's non-waiver trading deadline has now passed. Has your team sufficiently improved itself? (I know mine did.)

Among the names moving today: Victor Martinez, Jake Peavy, Jarrod Washburn, Adam LaRoche (again), Casey Kotchman, Scott Rolen, Orlando Cabrera and Justin Masterson.

GEORGE? I WAS A STAND-UP TOMATO: A JUICY, SEXY, BEEFSTEAK TOMATO. NOBODY DOES VEGETABLES LIKE ME. I DID AN EVENING OF VEGETABLES OFF-BROADWAY. I DID THE BEST TOMATO, THE BEST CUCUMBER... I DID AN ENDIVE SALAD THAT KNOCKED THE CRITICS ON THEIR ASS: Following up on their women's list we covered earlier this year, PopMatters presents a quirky, provocative, self-consciously nerdy and comment-worthy list of the 100 Essential Male Film Performances.

One sample, from its entry on someone who I believe is going to be voted on for ALOTT5MA Fave Status later this year: "Rickman brings order to the chaotic settings, seemingly anticipating all of the angles and never seeming to be anything less than fully in control. The actor sets the tone for the movie, replacing what could have been brutish and gruff with something that strives for the sleek and smart. Rickman’s triumph is also in how skillfully he lets us slowly watch Hans’ cool slide off into the sadism that he had hoped to mask. ... [H]e’s a cold killer that had hoped to put that all behind him and win the day with his brains and plotting. When that fails, he wastes no time embracing his roots."

FUNNY OLD WORLD? DOG MY CATS! There are many things we can talk about now that Funny People has finally been released -- and as the weekend progresses, whoever among us sees it first will post the appropriate spoiler thread. But for starters, this question: Leslie Mann, Rebecca Pidgeon or Jennifer Schwalbach -- which director's wife do you really not need to see again in her husband's films?

I [HEART] STEROIDS: Here's why today's news that David Ortiz (and Manny Ramirez, but you knew that) tested positive for steroids in 2003 is great for baseball:

1. The only people in the entire world whose opinions about baseball matter are in New York and Boston.
2. New Yorkers already don't care about steroids because the Yankees were among the first teams in baseball to be revealed to have been eyeball-deep in steroids.
3. In Boston, it is generally accepted that David Ortiz represents everything that is good and right with the world.
4. David Ortiz did steroids.
5. Steroids therefore are good and right.
6. Since Boston and New York will now agree that nothing is wrong with steroids (and their "you cheated" arguments cancel each other out), we can all get over ourselves and stop caring about steroids.

No, seriously, I get a sharp pain behind my right ear every time I see a sanctimonious headline about steroids, like today's ESPN.com "shame list" link. How many years ago was it that anybody honestly believed that Ortiz never took steroids? This is news like "Adam Lambert is gay" is news.

I HEAW THAT TWAIN A-COMING: A lurker has asked me to view and comment on this video of a five-year-old kid playing Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues." If it were my kid, I'd be so thrilled, and honestly, if you've seen the blog we do about my kid, you know that's an understatement. But it's not my kid. So my comments:

• Get a haircut, Prince Valiant.
• Is there a reason for the other five strings on your guitar?
• A little pitchy, dawg.

Sorry, I mean -- I'm a bad person, yes.