HUNGER FOR TRUTH:  All that farm-to-table stuff your local restaurant is offering? At least in the Tampa area, they're lying. And worse:

Old-timers like Gulfport’s La Cote Basque were dinged for advertising veal schnitzel dishes but having no veal in sight. “No packages commercially labeled veal (and) no veal invoices are present (but a) large volume of frozen pork chops and sliced pork” were observed. Wholesale veal can cost three times as much as pork. For pork-eschewing Muslims and Jews: Surprise.

I SING MY SONG FOR ALL TO HEAR:  Pantheon sketch, no question.

Ever since the day of the merger, more than twelve -- yes, twelve years ago, we've tried to do an annual "stay or go?" for the SNL cast. Here's my quickie take:

Vanessa Bayer: solid utility player. Can stay as long as she wants. Still [heart] Jacob, the Bar Mitzvah Boy. 

Beck Bennett: meh. 

Aidy Bryant: good straight woman. No reason to leave. 

Colin Jost: other than his interactions with Leslie Jones on Update, replaceable in the cast. He's not Seth Meyers.  

Taran Killam: I feel like he took a step back this year. Where did Les Jeunes de Paris go?  I'm still a fan. 

Kate McKinnon: the undisputed star of this cast. Keep her as long as you can. 

Kyle Mooney: I'm a fan of weirdness. He can stay. 

Bobby Moynihan: utility player. I'm fine with his staying. 

Jay Pharoah: needs more to do. Needs to evolve beyond impressions to angles -- yes, he can sound like Obama, but to what ends?  His Dr. Ben Carson, though, is wonderfully odd. 

Cecily Strong: second only to McKinnon in the cast. Can do it all.  

Kenan Thompson: As long as Darrell Hammond keeps the record, he can stay as long as he wants until that point. Disappointed we didn't get a What's Up With That? with Sudeikis and Armisen in the house this week. 

Sasheer Zamata: I want to see more. Underused. 

Michael Che: I like his comic voice. Keep him on Update. 

Pete Davidson: Unbelievable that he's only 22. Possibly the Mike Trout of this cast. Cannot let him leave. 

Leslie Jones: I wrote this post because Watts want to gush about her.  I don't know that she can do more than the one thing she does, but damn she does that brilliantly. 

Jon Rudnitsky: who?

SCRIPPS-TED:  Hard to believe (because it's the week before Memorial Day this year), but the Scripps National Spelling Bee does begin next Tuesday with the written round. We've already discussed the rules changes, so now let's take a look at this year's competitors:

• This is the least experienced Bee crew I think we've ever seen: zero five-timers, one four-timer (who hasn't been on prime time), and only eight three-time repeaters -- though one of them has made prime time in his first two appearances. There are no Shivashankars, and we'll be making some new stars.
• But, okay, two siblings of recent former winners (Jairam Hathwar and Srinath Mahankali).
• You'll want to meet this year's Jamaican speller, Chaunte Blackwood. Because unlike the Penn Relays, in Spelling Bees this blog is pro-Jamaica.
• On the other hands, after many years of drought, we're somehow back to five Canadians this year.
• Historically, Philadelphia does in the Bee like New Hampshire in the Miss America Pageant, but we're still rooting for Saif Siddiquee

MOTHER OF DRAGONS, BREAKER OF CHAINS, WIZARD OF PINBALL:  Have we reached Peak HBO? A 538 investigation.

BACK-FLIPPING BADASS:  A brief video on longtime ALOTT5MA Fave Surya Bonaly.

DO WE STILL HAVE AN ALOTT5MA VISCOUS CONDIMENT DESK?  Because Alex Balk has some thoughts on mayonnaise.

IT GOES ELECTRIC WAVY WHEN I TURN IT ON: It was widely assumed that Lin-Manuel Miranda would roll to his EMPGOT this year (EGOT + Pulitzer + MacArthur Genius Grant) for his (as yet unheard) original songs for Moana, but he's got some competition from Justin Timberlake--who's already got 4 Emmys, 2 for acting and 2 for songwriting, and 9 Grammys--whose "Can't Stop The Feeling" is making a bid not just for the Oscar (it's apparently from the soundtrack of the upcoming Trolls), but for Song of the Summer (bunches of radio stations are already playing it hourly).