Lisa, tempted by George Plimpton's offer to "guarantee you a scholarship to the Seven Sisters college of your choice" (plus a George Plimpton-endorsed hot plate) if she takes a dive in the Spelllympics finals, dreams of meeting the colleges personified à la the Muses of Greek mythology.
BARNARD (wearing glasses): We are the Seven Sisters. And you can attend any one of us! Like Barnard, Columbia's "girl next door."
RADCLIFFE: Come to Radcliffe and meet Harvard men.
WELLESLEY: Or come to Wellesley and marry them.
MOUNT HOLYOKE (slurring, champagne glass in hand): No. Party with me! (Falls face first.)
VASSAR: Or nonconform with me! (Raises arms, reveals hairy armpits.)
LISA: Uh . . .
SMITH (muscular, carries lacrosse stick, husky voice): Play lacrosse with me!
BRYN MAWR: Or explore with me! (She and SMITH kiss with passion.)
LISA: No, I don't want to pay for college by throwing a spelling bee!
SISTERS (in unison): Give in, Lisa! Get a free ride!
PLIMPTON: And a hot plate!
SISTERS (holding hands and dancing in a circle around Lisa): Free ride! Free ride! Free ride!
PLIMPTON: And a hot plate!
(LISA wakes up screaming.)
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
NON-CONFORM WITH ME! I can't have been the only one looking for a transcript of the The Simpsons' rib on the Seven Sisters colleges from this week. Courtesy Yeechang Lee, my one-time partner in trolling, here it is:
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