A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

YES, BUT FROM HERE HE'S GOING TO SKADDEN: Submitted for your amusement is this month's version of the I Can't Believe Someone In A Law Firm Wrote This, So Now I'm Forwarding It Around To Everyone I Know e-mail.

It comes to us from the San Diego branch office of a major West Coast-based law firm, and it goes a little something like this:

As many of you are aware, today is my last day at the firm. It is time for me to move on and I want you to know that I have accepted a position as "Trophy Husband". This decision was quite easy and took little consideration. However, I am confident this new role represents a welcome change in my life and a step up from my current situation. While I have a high degree of personal respect for [Name] as a law firm, and I have made wonderful friendships during my time here, I am no longer comfortable working for a group largely populated by gossips, backstabbers and Napoleonic personalities. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a piñata and beaten than remain with this group any longer. I wish you continued success in your goals to turn vibrant, productive, dedicated associates into an aimless, shambling group of dry, lifeless husks.

May the smoke from any bridges I burn today be seen far and wide.

Respectfully submitted,

[x]

Details deleted just because, well, you never know how legit one of these things is.