On buying a home in South Florida: "I will be walking naked on the beach. If you take pictures of me naked on the beach, don't sell them to the Enquirer unless I get 15 percent."
On being 32 years old: "I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities - I'm proven to be good. I've still got five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years left."
On his charity endeavors: "I'm going to feed homeless people on Thanksgiving. I'm going to drive a big truck to certain neighborhoods and pass out toys, good toys. I'm one of the only athletes that sells good-looking shoes at a reasonable price. I was in Orlando and a lady came to me crying. I was like, 'What's wrong? She said, "Your shoes, they cost a $115. And I kind of had to sit back and say to myself: Why would I ask my father to buy a pair of shoes that cost $115. He probably would've punched me. My parents always taught me to give back. You're going to see Shaq-a Claus. Shaq-a Bunny."
How fun will this season be? Says the Big Aristotle: "Get your tickets now. Buy cable now. Get your jerseys now. Pull your boats up to the docking stations now. Bring your Sea-Doos now. If you can't afford a Sea-Doo, get a raft. If you can't afford a raft, go to Wal-Mart and get the blow-up raft like I got at my house."
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