A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

ON A SCALE OF '1' TO 'JUST WIN THE SUPER BOWL': Just participated in an online survey of Philadelphia Eagles season ticket holders commissioned by the team. What, pray tell, did team management want to know? Some highlights:

Now please take a look at the following list of words or phrases people use when talking about professional sports teams. Please indicate how important to you it is that a professional sports team delivers on these words or phrases, using a 1-10 scale where 1 means it is not at all important that a pro team deliver it, and 10 means it is extremely important that a professional sports team deliver on that statement.

Is an organization that is committed to winning
Is a part of my life
Is a team that never gives up
Is a team that reflects and embodies
the values of the City of Philadelphia
Are a group of players and coaches I feel good about
Play as a team
Games that are exciting
Is a team that communicates with me

Next, please take a look at the following list of words or phrases that could be used to describe the personality of a professional sports team. Please indicate how important to you it is that a professional sports team demonstrates these words or phrases . . .

Demonstrate strength
Have heart
Are determined
Are tough
Down to earth
Approachable
Are underdogs
Bold
Are hard-working

The following are some characteristics that could be used to describe the Eagles Cheerleaders. For each one, please indicate how strongly you agree or disagree that the characteristic describes the Eagles Cheerleaders . .

Energetic
Are talented
Classy
Warm
Attractive
Risqué
Are hard-working
Sexy
Family-oriented
Athletic dancers
Rebellious
Are loyal
Appreciates their fans
Are determined
Down to earth
Community-oriented
Kid friendly
Approachable
Appeals to all fans
Are "Philadelphia"
Innovative
Demonstrate strength
Friendly
(This all reminds me of the scene in Total Recall where Quaid gets to decide what the woman in his simulation looks like. Demure.)

Other questions included the appropriateness of the Gregg Easterbrook's favorite merchandise, whether the team should construct an Eagles-themed hotel decorated with Eagles merchandise, memorabilia and other Eagles themed rooms and attractions (ugh) or market aerobics tapes by Eagles cheerleaders. So if you're invited to check out the Buddy Ryan Suite or the Bernard Williams Lounge in five years, you'll know why.