A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SELL, MORTIMER, SELL! There's never a bad time to review just how the Winthorpe & Valentine FCOJ scam in Trading Places worked. Or, as I once emailed Randy Cohen:

Dear Ethicist,

I have learned that my employer, a major brokerage firm, has planned to obtain confidential information relating to the upcoming orange crop, which will have a major effect on the price of Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice futures. I don't believe the Commodity Futures Trading Commission will ever pursue this to my satisfaction, so I have a plan: if I switch their accurate crop information with the reverse, I can myself manipulate the market to drive them into the poorhouse (while enriching myself), eliminating the need for the lengthy, and likely ineffective government involvement. Yes, technically, I suppose it's insider trading, but given the harm my employer has done to others over the years, it seems like the only way they'll ever be sufficiently punished, and it can't work unless I stand as their opposite on the trading floor. Do you approve? B.R.V., Philadelphia Pa.

Randy explained that he didn't have the time to handle hypotheticals. So get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on!