A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

THE UPMIDDLES: The networks have released their prime-time strike schedules for when they finish burning off their scripted programs. Highlights include:

Monday:
Tyra Bosses You Around (advice), CW, 8:00. Tyra Banks advises people to do stuff like the "after" in her before-and-after eye thing that looks exactly like the before thing, except it's like, pow.
Chucked, NBC, 8:00. NBC staffers throw away things left in the office by striking writers.
Big Brother (reality), CBS, 8:00 (3 hrs).

Tuesday:
Reaper (reality), CW, 8:00. Tyra Banks kills people.
Dancing With the Stars (competition), ABC, 9:00. Host Tom Bergeron wings it without scripted quips.
1 vs. 100 (competition), NBC, 8:00. Host Bob Saget wings it without scripted quips, is beeped and mouth-pixellated for entire half-hour.
Big Brother (reality), CBS, 8:00 (3 hrs).

Wednesday:
Gossip Girl (talk), CW, 9:00. Tyra Banks talks shit about Naomi Campbell.
Los Strikebusters (drama), Fox, 9:00 (dubbed).
Big Brother (reality), CBS, 8:00 (3 hrs).

Thursday:
Tyra Freaks the Eff Out (reality), CW, 8:00. Tyra yells at quitters, people who came in here fierce but are now disappearing, and Victoria.
The Excerpts From Funny Things Picketing Comedy Writers Said to News Media Comedy Hour (improv comedy), NBC, 8:00. Writer/celebrities from The Office, 30 Rock, The Daily Show, and other hit programs can't help themselves from making funny jokes to news cameras covering pickets in a manner permitting NBC to generate advertising revenue
Big Brother (reality), CBS, 8:00 (2 hrs).
Dr. Mime (drama), ABC, 9:00.
Total Dead Air Static, CBS, 10:00. Big Brother contestants watch TV tuned to nonexistent channel.

Friday:
Tyra's Gaydar Miscalibrator (talk), CW, 8:00. Tyra Banks interviews diversely flamboyant friends, including Miss Jay, Twirly Twins, Posing Coach, Sutan, Handlebar Mustache Makeup Guy, High School Principal Fashion Show Emcee, and several people called "Miss Thing," until you start to think that Jay Manuel is probably straight.
NBC Page-Off (competition), NBC, 8:00.
Big Brother (reality), CBS, 8:00 (3 hrs)