A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SHE DOESN'T SUCK AT LIFE, BUT AT TELLING THE TRUTH, LET ME GET BACK TO YOU: Remember Denise, the lunch lady from this season's Survivor who bitterly told the contestants at the final tribal council that, unlike them, honesty and loyalty were the principles that guided her through life? And then at the reunion show she said that she had been demoted from lunch lady to custodian because she went on the show, so Mark Burnett gave her $50,000 to ease her loss? Denise wants to make a few corrections. As it turns out, by "demoted," she meant "promoted"; by "thanks for the $50,000," she meant "which I'll add to the greater pay and benefits I'm getting from the promotion I sought and received"; and by "having people's backs," she meant "falsely accusing people who gave her a promotion and cheered her on of demoting her."