A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

NEXT TIME, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO EAT THEM, LEAVE A NOTE: As I've said here before, I'm an opponent of poetry but a proponent of mock verse, largely because so much of the former reads like the latter. Thus, the segment of This American Life a couple of weeks ago, where regular contributors read their spoofs of William Carlos Williams's "This Is Just to Say" -- the most famous insincere apology in modern verse, if you believe the so-called experts -- was a pleasant diversion. I was driving to Sacramento at the time, and came up with a half-dozen versions in my own head.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: write your own spoof. Original here.

My own entry:

You may be wondering,
"What in God's name is that smell?"
No
Gloria isn't decomposing in her office
Ha ha that joke never gets old
Yer a regular Rip Taylor you
It's just
My leftover halibut
In the microwave
Sorry but
It's Friday
And fuck Vatican II
Am I right?