A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

6:30 PM, I-95 SOUTH NEARING THE EXIT FOR THE BETSY ROSS BRIDGE: I think I'll let H.O.V.A. narrate:

The year is '08 and the pool party was great
In my rear view mirror is the stateys I hate
I got two choices y'all, pull over the minivan or
bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
So I... pull over to the side of the road
And I heard "Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
"Cause I'm young and I'm Tribe and I spell 'tremolo'?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know?
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?"
"Well you was doing seventy in a fifty fo'
License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carrying a Bar membership on you? I know a lot of you are."
I ain't stepping out of sh*t all my papers legit ...

Okay. No search was sought or allowed, and I don't quite have 99 problems, but seriously? The officer believed we were doing 75 in the speed machine known as the 2005 Honda Odyssey minivan, along with the pace of traffic, when I saw the state highway patrolman behind me. So I moved from the left to the center lane and slowed down. Still, he followed me into the lane, and I guess I didn't pay him his propers, because a minute later, the berries were flashing and that was it. A speeding ticket. For the offense against the laws of the Commonwealth of allegedly doing 70 mph on I-95 in a 55 mph zone. The penalty sought is $168.00.