MAMA, I'M A BIG GIRL NOW: I'm all open to non-traditional casting, but because of injury the role of Tracy Turnblad in the national touring production of Hairspray is being played by an actress who is decidedly not plus-sized, having been cast originally for the role of "nine months!" Brenda.

I'm taking Lucy for the matinee today, and will update this post afterwards, presumably with experience-driven indignation.

e.t.a. 5:10 pm: Okay, more disappointment than indignation. This Tracy just got lost on the big stage, especially on "You Can't Stop The Beat". Because while the internal message of Hairspray is "anyone has the right to be a star," that's just as true as to what the show's external message to the kids in the audience is -- a girl who looks like Tracy Turnblad can be a Broadway star, which is very different from putting an actress who can't hit the lower in a not-fat-enough-fat-suit to make her look like Tracy Turnblad.

That said, the show's book is strong enough to survive this, and Lucy had a blast. One moment that I don't recall from the original -- at the end of "Timeless to Me," Wilbur and Edna traded off "You'll always be at home"/"Shabbat shalom!"/"You're timeless to me," at which point Wilbur said, "I didn't know you were Jewish" and Edna replied, "You can always tell," and then they both lost it laughing for about thirty seconds.

ESPN - Tennessee's Lofton quietly faced and beat cancer - Men's College Basketball

"I THINK GOD WANTED PEOPLE TO HEAR MY STORY": Indeed, you will want to hear the surprising, inspiring story of how Tennessee hoops star Chris Lofton quietly faced and beat testicular cancer over the past year. Guys, no joke: check yourselves.

JOHNNY, ARE YOU NERVOUS YET? Voting is still open in the first annual B.S. Report Awards for the best performances in Bill Simmons' quite excellent podcasts. Even for the non-sports fans out there, episodes like the recent visit of SNL head writer Seth Meyers are well worth your time, and I am so happy that John "JackO" O'Connell (Complex Litigation) is kicking Cousin Sal's ass in the voting.

(All shows available for free via iTunes, and most recent shows via this link.)

Right now, I'm subscribed to that, This American Life, the New Yorker's Campaign Trail, Sound Opinions and KCRW's The Treatment with Elvis Mitchell. Y'all?

TODAY'S SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Not only did the FCC spend its time to determine a matter relating to TMZ On TV, but it concluded that the show is a "bona fide news program." Comment from Perez Hilton is awaited.

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA COMES FOR YOU? In something that sounds like it belongs on VH1, next fall, CMT will present "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling," featuring "celebrities" (assuredly of a low wattage variety) competing to be named "Celebrity All-Star Wrestling Champion." Perhaps this is a way for Ira Glass to achieve his dream, though (sorry for the cached link--the regular site seems to be frakked). Equally awesome? The show is co-produced by the guy who played Kevin Arnold's older brother on The Wonder Years.

YOU SO CODED: How excellent to have Addison back on Grey's, even if it was only an air-dropped appearance for a single episode. Her presence really underscored the challenges of the character's absence -- it was as if everyone let out a big collective sigh and said "at last, someone I can talk to"/"someone to smack some sense into me"! And now, having established the basic plot arcs for the rest of the season, she can fly back to LA and her aromatherapy candles and whatever else is going on with that other show that I don't watch.

As for the rest of the show -- what's not to like about a show that uses both "penis" and "vagina" in casual non-medical conversation within a single episode (that should get us some interesting google hits)? Equal opportunity anatomy references! My personal favorite moment, though, was the look on Sloan's face when he saw Derek, Meredith, Addison, and that doe-eyed thing all in the elevator at the same time. Priceless.

OH MY DARLING CLEMENTINE: Apologies for the delay in getting a Lost post up, but a lack of both DVR and internet access (cable guy coming today between 2 and 6 to remedy both of these issues) made things a little complicated. Fortunately, Sepinwall seems to have none of my current technical issues, so he was able to confirm a couple of things for me:

• Yes, Sawyer totally called Miles "Donger." O Writers who sit around and concoct awesome names for Sawyer to call people, we salute you.
• Yes, the point of all the mostly-naked Jack shots in the fast-forwards for those of us who don't consider Matthew Fox to be terribly beefcakeworthy was presumably to confirm that there's no appendix scar there. Rose's comment about the island's role in Jack's appendicitis seems awfully likely, no? Up until that moment, I was feeling pretty frustrated about Cuselof's decision to focus one of their five precious post-strike eps on the ongoing saga of Jack's hubris.

As for events outside Juliet's beachside ambulatory surgery center, I think we've now seen the impact of the post-strike truncation of the season. Claire/Miles/Jack/Dad!? would normally have gotten much more screen time, as would the voyage of the Korean speakers to the medical station. I can't imagine that those two events would have shared an episode with both Jack's appendectomy and a significant amount of fast-forward time in a season of regular length. (And either the Ben search party was much bigger initially, or else Smokey isn't actually as deadly as all that.)

Then there's the fast-forward. Jack's transition from the confident, smooth surgeon we saw at Kate's trial to the paranoid, visibly cracking drunk from the end of tonight's episode felt a little forced to me; then again, there are still a lot of holes to fill in the timeline. I do wonder, though, why Jack and Hurley are so fragile while Kate seems so strong. And what's Kate doing for Sawyer? Ain't nothing but daddy issues on this show, so my money is on something to do with Clementine.

THE WARRIORS, THE NEWSIES ...: We don't get many Office episodes centered around Sales Rep. Stanley Hudson (and thank you for that chart (PDF), Dwight), so we must savor those we do have, especially one with an ending as satisfying as this one. That said, I've had too much hill-people milk to discuss tonight's 30 Rock coherently, but when I'm ready I'll see you on the 12th floor. (Just look out for the orcs behind the trap door.)

Mariah Carey marries Nick Cannon: reports | Reuters

THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS: Okay, more surprising love news of the day -- Mariah Carey marrying Drumline star Nick Cannon, 11 years her junior, after dating just a few weeks -- or Barbara Walters' revealing her affair with married Sen. Edward Brooke (R-MA) during the 1970s?

NEXT TIME, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO EAT THEM, LEAVE A NOTE: As I've said here before, I'm an opponent of poetry but a proponent of mock verse, largely because so much of the former reads like the latter. Thus, the segment of This American Life a couple of weeks ago, where regular contributors read their spoofs of William Carlos Williams's "This Is Just to Say" -- the most famous insincere apology in modern verse, if you believe the so-called experts -- was a pleasant diversion. I was driving to Sacramento at the time, and came up with a half-dozen versions in my own head.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: write your own spoof. Original here.

My own entry:

You may be wondering,
"What in God's name is that smell?"
No
Gloria isn't decomposing in her office
Ha ha that joke never gets old
Yer a regular Rip Taylor you
It's just
My leftover halibut
In the microwave
Sorry but
It's Friday
And fuck Vatican II
Am I right?

GIRL IF IT LASTS FOR AN HOUR, THAT'S ALRIGHT -- WE'VE GOT ALL NIGHT: Before we get to the results, can I just comment on how amused I was that they gave YDA a solo on a song about the joys of cheap wine? And that they basically skipped over the whole controversy of Paula's comments last night, other than having Ryan say that The Rumors Weren't True, whatever they were.

Okay, the results. Had you told me a month ago that Carly, Brooke, and Kristy Lee would all go before Syesha, I would not have believed you ... but then again, it's that thing about sheer competence I said. Her sin on the show has been excessive ambition (trying to out-Fantasia Fantasia and out-Whitney Whitney), but she's never been bad. Still six times in the at-risk group without being eliminated* is a record -- not even Nikki McKibbin had been threatened that many times. [*Recognizing that others have noted that Seacrest never actually said "you are the bottom two" last night, but I'm struggling for a good reason why they'd have manipulated the ordering last night.]

I originally pegged her for final three, and while I obviously underestimated David Cook's staying power, that prediction would have me feeling good now ... except for the fact that Clifford wasn't even in the bottom two this week. Indeed, he's only been in the bottom group once -- when he did "Fragile" in Year You Were Born Week. Neither of the Davids, mind you, have been in the bottom group even once. In other words, based on voting patterns, it's hard imagining Syesha surviving next week -- which apparently will be based on the practically themeless theme of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's "500 Songs That Shaped Rock and Roll".

Re Brooke: I mean, it was over -- either this week or next. She was too boxed in by her stylistic limitations -- which means that she wasn't going to win this show, but could have an interesting career on the WXPN/"adult album alternative" circuit where she is not asked to stretch. I have to say, it was so appropriate that she messed up a song opening one last time on her emotional farewell ...

(this post was edited Thursday morning to include the actual results.)

SIMPSONS, GREATEST COMEDY EVER OR GREATEST SHOW EVER? How about both? According to two new lists, those lovable scamps from Springfield star in both the best TV comedy of all time (AOL Television) and the best TV show of all time (British magazine Empire). I give the latter list a lot more credence, given the appearance of Arrested Development at No. 18, as opposed to 36 on the former (behind such perhaps-funny-once-but-now-pretty-awful shows as Mork and Mindy, Welcome Back Kotter, Happy Days, and the never funny Will and Grace).

Besides the Simpsons, only two more shows from AOL's top 10--Seinfeld and Friends--made Empire's entire list, which skewed heavily toward current and recent shows (I think the original Star Trek was the oldest show on the list, but one or two of the British shows on the list may hail from the same era).

In addition to the four shows already mentioned, seven other shows are on both lists (Sex and the City, South Park, Scrubs, Frasier, Family Guy, and Curb Your Enthusiasm). The British Office was 23rd on Empire's list, while the American version was 14 on the AOL list. Family Guy was 47th on AOL's list, but 12th overall on Empire's. Futurama was the only American comedy on Empire's list to not even rank on AOL's.

One other similarity between the two lists? Annoying click-through set ups that don't allow you to view the whole list or even a fifth of the list at once.

APPARENTLY, THEY SHALL FIGHT US ON THE SEAS AND OCEANS ... WITH GROWING CONFIDENCE AND GROWING STRENGTH IN THE AIRWAVES: Every time I get close to weighing in on the Great Mainstream Media Vs. Bloggers Smackdown, I stop myself. There are plenty of bloggers out there with audiences several orders of magnitude larger than ours who marshal the proper arguments: bloggers are not a monolith; bloggers supplement, rather than compete with, mainstream outlets; the blog medium enables kinds of discourse and participation that professional journalism does not (though that's the criticism, I suppose); many bloggers (statistically-savvy baseball bloggers, to name one example) are better-qualified to comment on their subjects than many professional journalists (John Kruk, to name another); many other bloggers have no pretension of credibility and just want to create a virtual sports-bar or bleacher environment; very few bloggers live in their mothers' basements.

More importantly, though, it doesn't really seem that blogging needs to be defended. Because the Bissinger-Costas-Plashke-Steven A.-Kimmel coalition doesn't intend to repeal the First Amendment and can't convince people not to read WithLeather or Gawker, the entire "debate" really boils down to: "resolved: I dislike your leisure interest." Since, as you know, I usually take "pro" on that one, consistency suggests I should sit this one out.

There's a nagging question that I've been feeling like I have to ask, though. Why do so many professional sports journalists make such a big deal out of this? Granted, the media always overestimate the importance of media-related controversies, but where's the angle in this for people like Costas and Bissinger? And why is it so much more pronounced in the field of sports journalism than in other fields? The last time I checked, Alan Sepinwall, Carrie Rickey, and Daniel Fienberg weren't hosting panel discussions about how ALOTT5MA and its commenters are debasing the whole field of popular-culture criticism (which, admittedly, may be true). The whole idea that this is actually a controversy just confuses me.

I REALLY NEED TO HAIL THAT CAB ONCE: Although I'm guessing the ALOTT5MA audience could care less about the many "Daytime Drama"-related awards included in the Daytime Emmy nominations, a few things of note (not including most of the kid-oriented programming awards, which I'm sure many will have thoughts on, which you're welcome to share in the comments):

• Legally Blonde: The Musical didn't get the big Tony nods last year, but the MTV broadcast is nominated for "Outstanding Special Class Directing" and "Outstanding Special Class Special" (also, Avenue Q star John Tartaglia is nominated for "Outstanding Performer in a Children's Series," alongside Kevin Clash and Bindi Irwin, for Johnny and the Sprites).
• I've never heard the song, but the fact that "You're The Freak" from One Life To Live is nominated as "Outstanding Original Song" amuses me.
• Cash Cab scores a couple of surprises--getting the third slot (after Trebek and Sajak) for "Outstanding Game Show Host," rather than Meredith Viera or Drew Carey, and knocking Wheel of Fortune out of "Outstanding Game Show," where it fights it out with Jeopardy! and TPIR.
• Can someone explain to me how "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," "Rachael Ray," and "The View" are in the "Talk Show/Entertainment" category, while "Tyra Strokes Her Ego" is in the "Talk Show/Informative" category?
• You'd think this blog would care that there's now a "Outstanding Legal/Courtroom Program" category, but I find it exceedingly difficult to care.

MY PUBLIC INTELLECTUAL IS AN HONORS STUDENT AT EDGEWOOD MIDDLE SCHOOL: Proving that lists are not only the domain of the lowest common denominator, Foreign Policy is out with its list of the Top 100 Public Intellectuals. And just to prove that FP isn't beyond a little silliness, you can vote for the five smartest of the smarty pants.

THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE HEARING BOB COSTAS UTTER THE WORD "DOUCHEBAG": I am currently watching on HBO one of the more fascinating and provocative programs I have seen in some time -- a Costas NOW ninety minute town meeting on the state of sports media. Already, there has been a confrontation between Michael Strahan and Chris "Mad Dog" Russo on fairness on talk radio; and then a condescending, sanctimonious Buzz Bissinger taking full advantage of HBO's freer speech to lecture a stammering Will Leitch on his opinions as to the worthiness of online sportswriting ("the quality, in general, of the writing on the blogs is despicable"). Much like the talk radio the first segment largely decries, I'm not sure if I'm learning anything by watching this, but I'm sure having fun. Unexpected laughs all over the place, including a naughty Joe Buck, but now Costas himself is getting pressed on how free he'll be to criticize China's human rights record while anchoring the Summer Games. Set your TiVo for the re-airings.

e.t.a. Reax from Leitch ("Buzz is not alone. Sure, he might be metaphorically alone, raining spittle on the imaginary demons that clearly haunt him. But if you don't think that almost every single person — with obvious, clear exceptions — who was on all those panels last night didn't come up to him afterwards and give him a fist pound and a "yeah, we really struck back tonight!" well, you weren't there. This really is what many of them think. Though most are a little calmer about it.") and FJM's Michael Schur, who was quoted in the taped intro: ("The argument I had tried to make in the pre-taped segment was: you can't say anything about 'blogs,' any more than you can say anything about any medium. There are good blogs and bad blogs.... What Bissinger did that was so annoying to me was: he lumped all of these into one thing ('Deadspin,' essentially), and furthermore, conflated the actual blog and the people who write for it with the silly comments people make at the bottom of every article.")

e.t.a.2: YouTube has the Internet-related set-up piece and subsequent roundtable. Did you know that blogs were "dedicated to cruelty"?

HATE YOU SO MUCH, CAN'T COUNT ALL THE WAYS: First of all, what an awkwardly-structured Idol on Jewish Elvis night, with the group judging in the middle that completely fell apart when Paula started critiquing Clifford performances that hadn't actually happened yet. [Also, the first-half performances all felt rushed to me, especially compared to the lengthy Andrew Lloyd Webber songs of last week.]

And yet, that wasn't the weirdest reminiscence of the night -- Seacrest referred to the film The Jazz Singer as "a great success," and then talked about happy memories "going in the wayback." I'm surprised Simon didn't pounce on that one. Anyway:

• Clifford the Crunchy Muppet: In a week designed around his strengths, he failed to shine. "Forever in Three Notes" and "September Morn" just never seemed to go anywhere, and I believe he just looks really small on that big, big stage.
• David Cook: Going to the Lesser Diamond songbook, "I'm Alive" truly earned the "if that were released as a contemporary single, it'd sell" appellation so often granted to lesser performances on the show, but his second number just felt like a recipe being followed without much passion. (I know Kim disagrees.)
• America's Nanny, Brooke: A slightly countrified and way-too-fast "I'm A Believer" to start. On the wordy "I Am, I Said," she started off decently, but then sounded way too upbeat when despair was called for in the lyrics. Brooke, not every song is about making us like you. Reminded me of how I'd imagine Suddenly, Tammy! would have covered it.
• YDA: Doo-wops "Sweet Caroline" but fails to work the crowd into it -- still, John Updike's first rule of reviewing says we have to understand what the artist wanted to do, "and do not blame him for not achieving what he did not attempt." So I'll just say "WTF was that ending?" and leave it there. But then his technically competent but passionless "America" just fueled my massive hatred of immigrants. Right, Gary? I now have a rooting interest this season, and it's against YDA and his dead, dead eyes.
• Syesha: A rather lovely "Hello Again" (hello!), and then a very professional, '60s girl-group take "Thank the Lord For the Night Time". Second-best performer of the night.

Who should be at risk? Brooke and Clifford, both of whom are too boxed in by their stylistic niches and vocal limitations. I think the Muppet's going home.

e.t.a. Fienberg: "The Idol audience is unprepared to sing along [to "Sweet Caroline"], but maybe they're confused by the arrangement. Or perhaps they're perplexed that Archuleta is singing an up-tempo song, but he's performing it with the exact same mannerisms he's brought to the message songs he's done for the past six weeks. The arm sweep, the closed eyes, the tremendous absence of tangible pleasure, it's a David Archuleta Special. The kid doesn't have a clue what he's singing about when it doesn't involve homelessness or disease..."

I COULD TURN INVINCIBLE IF I REALLY TRIED HARD: Neil Diamond night on Idol, and in the absence of much spoiler information (I've heard two songs per Idol, and will list the limited spoilers I've seen in the comments), there is plenty of room for folks to make recommendations and predictions from the vast Diamond discography.

If I'm David Cook, it's "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon," Urge-style, and Clifford would be mellowing to "Red, Red Wine". Whether or not she should, I assume Syesha belts "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" as a solo, and Brooke has to be thinking about "Love on the Rocks".

As for Young David Archuleta, if the spoilers are true we are going to hell (and that's without his singing "Heartlight," but if they're not, I want "I Am, I Said". You?

e.t.a.: The normally accurate TMZ has spoilers, and what they have for YDA may be even worse.

NICENESS IS A SYMPTOM: Both Gossip Girl and House claimed that big secrets would be revealed last night, and both didn't exactly deliver on the promise. Sure, GG added another top-notch bitch to the Monday TV line up with Michelle Trachtenberg's Georgina (alongside Blair Waldorf, "bad Sam" from Samantha Who?, and Amber/"Cutthroat Bitch"), and further hints were dropped about Serena's shady past, but this was an awful lot of setup without much payoff, though some interesting developments in the Blair and Jenny subplots. House, on the other hand, did deliver a big reveal (indeed, maybe even several), though, as the show's done in the past, it promptly nullifies several of them, explaining that they're just manipulations for House--but are they all?

[PLUG]: I have blogged at length on the Philadelphia Committee to END Homelessness, on whose Board of Directors I sit, and our "housing first" plan to keep families out of the shelter system and into permanent residences. In the past two years or so, we've placed 61 families into houses and apartments they can call their own, including 161 children.

Thursday night, May 22, is our annual benefit event (at the Cira Centre, right next door to 30th Street Station for NYCers and others interested in traveling here by train), and as usual it will contain cocktails, food from a variety of Philadelphia restaurants and a silent art auction.

New for 2008, however, is something that I think will appeal to even more people here: a no-limit Texas Hold-Em Poker Tournament, hosted by board member Lance Funston and featuring a pre-tournament clinic, and then a $5000 grand prize in the tournament itself.

Details and registration here, with tickets available both at the "auction/food/drink only" and "I want to play poker" levels, and I'm happy to mail the printed invitation to you or anyone who you think would be interested. I would love to put together a table or two of ThingThrowers, so do let me know if you're interested -- use the email address in the right-hand column. Thanks, and please spread the word.

BARNEY, YOU WANT MY X-BOX? The best HIMYM episodes don't just use flash-backs and -forwards for their own sakes, but to tell us something new about the characters. Tonight's downbeat episode, dealing with the ramifications of last week's ending, certainly complied. So, subject to attorney-client privilege, let's head to BOA, grab some steaks and discuss how it all fits together.

AMERICA VOTED, AND SOMEONE'S GOING HOME TONIGHT: This (apparently real) American Idol market research study asks questions that you're sure to have opinions about, such as to what extent you agree with statements like "I watch American Idol mostly to hear what Paula has to say," whether there are too many audition episodes, and the importance of Hollywood Week. Sadly, no questions about the Wacky Dancing Parade, which I know has fans around here.

AH, APRIL IN CHICAGO: It's not sticking, but this was the view of my backyard about 15 minutes ago.

WE ARE ALL IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER GOING TO RESEDA SOME DAY: Matt Zoller Seitz, founder and editor of the invaluable House Next Door (and proxy for Deadwood in the epic Sopranos-Wire-Deadwood fracas, i.e., defender of truth), is getting out of the criticism business (eta: "and into the getting-criticized business" is what I originally meant to say, before I hacked it out of the post). Seitz's work was some of my favorite -- scholarly and reflective, with an expert eye for the kind of detail that usually escapes amateurs like me.

The old joke about critics is that they're like eunuchs -- they've seen it done and they know how it's done, but they can't do it themselves. If that's true, I hope to find out that Seitz was never meant to be a critic. Best of luck to him.

Does this mean the House Next Door needs to change its URL?

Tip: Sepinwall

BUT WILL THEY NAME THE KID STEVE HOLT? Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have confirmed they're expecting a child in the fall. This seems likely to mean that Poehler will be leaving the Weekend Update desk behind (at least for a while) this fall. Any suggestions on who and how should fill in for her?

ELIA'S EVE: If the Spelling Bee is like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July all rolled into one around these parts, than April 29, Lee Elia Day, is at least akin to Labor Day. With this year marking the 25th anniversary of the greatest of all sports rants, there's much hoopla planned, with Elia appearing on every Chicago radio station short of Radio Disney.

Elia shed some new light on the rant last week in the Chicago Tribune, blaming his ornery mood on taunting fans nearly coming to blows with Larry Bowa and Keith Moreland moments before his eruption. The Trib also recalls how if not for the trusty tape recorder of local radio legend Les Grobstein, we might not have had the privilege this past quarter century of hearing Elia's spiel in all its profane glory. (Again an interesting sidenote, the local NBC affiliate caught some of the rant on tape, but that footage appears to have been lost.)

And if you are among the "real (bleep) Chicago (bleep) fans," you now have a better option than kissing Elia's (bleeping) ass downtown. For $89.95 you can purchase an Elia autographed baseball, inscribed with "And print it" and enclosed in a stand that comes with a 20-second recording of the rant. A portion of the proceeds go not to job training programs for other 15 percent who attend Cubs games, but to Chicago Baseball Cancer Charities.

Additional links:

• Full text of Lee Elia's rant.
• Audio of the rant (NO BLEEPS, NSFW unless you are a sailor, but so much better than the bleeped version).
• Original Chicago Tribune story from the day after the game (Rose Mary Woods was President Nixon's secretary).

RUN AND GUN: The Mike Nichols-directed production of The Country Girl, starring Morgan Freeman, Frances McDormand, and Peter Gallagher gets a rather acerbic pan from Ben Brantley today, but more interesting than that is that the Times has decided that the top cultural event of today, worthy of the space normally reserved for theatrical, filmic, or literary blockbusters, is Grand Theft Auto IV, which the Times raves about, calling it "violent, intelligent, profane, endearing, obnoxious, sly, richly textured and thoroughly compelling." That review just solidified my intent to go out and buy this one.

(Also, the Times asks whether Vanity Fair will destroy Miley Cyrus' career. Given what other starlets are doing, I think not.)

MELISSOPHOBES NOT WELCOME: All of us at ALOTT5MA Headquarters are thrilled that we're now within one month of the 81st Scripps National Spelling Bee (May 28-29 29-30), and our sixth consecutive year of liveblogging the competition.

The field of 288 spellers is set, including four-timer Anqi Dong and the other twenty-one regional Canadian entrants who just competed in the CanWest Canspell National Bee. Over the coming weeks, we'll be scouting our neighbors to the north, the seventeen 3-year-plus repeaters (including two members of the Five Timers Club), as well as new entrants like Mallika Govindan of Lancaster, MA, who's preparing for the Bee by studying all about German, Italian and French foods, as well as watching America's Next Top Model. That's our kind of competitor.

I am happy to announce that Shonda will be back to guest-blog, as will our former Bee finalist guest-bloggers Heather and Rafael. But I didn't seek them out -- they each came here because they loved talking about the Bee and had something they wanted to share. So if you're a Bee veteran, Bee parent, tv writer/executive producer/creator or anyone else with insight to share, we want you to join us -- email me at the address provided if you've got something you want to say at length, or just start posting in the comments. And Samir, if you're out there ...

"WHO CAN SATISFY THEIR LUSTFUL HABITS? I'M NOT A RABBIT! I NEED SOME REST": And now, six years after his Kentucky Derby and Preakness wins, War Emblem is no longer interested in earning stud fees for his owners, so to speak. Left unaddressed in the article? Rumors that he's gay.

[Of course, the last time the Times danced around an issue like that, it was the Prince Albert situation, and we know how that resolved itself.]

SO VERY SPECIAL: When in Rome, of course, so what did Prince do at the alternarock Coachella Festival this weekend? Cover Radiohead's "Creep". EW's Chris Willman raves:

One complaint I have at festivals is how little evidence there is among some of the performers that they know they’re at a festival; the bigger the headliner, the more they’re apt to just plow through their usual touring show, without any concessions for the uniqueness of the night. But Prince took advantage of the fact that he was at a “rock festival” to show off his rock & roll guitar prowess at the kind of length I’ve never seen him do before, at least outside of an all-instrumental club set. ... If the guy had done nothing in his life but aspire to be the lead guitarist in a band, he’d be a Hall of Famer, but there are so many other aspects to his genius that that’s not always the one he favors. But on Saturday night, he didn’t bogart the Stratocaster, interrupting nearly every song -- except for the most truncated or medley-ized ones -- for an impressive workout, even showing off a couple of times by soloing just with his left hand on the neck while he waved the right around in the air freely, mock-conducting his own virtuosity.

One more video already up on the YouTube: "Seven"/"Come Together".

Windows Live Hotmail

ALOTT5MA TECH SUPPORT: Commenter PJ wants to know:

I have a question I was wondering if you'd be able to present to the thing throwers; I recently had a computer crash. The hard drive that decided to crap out was the 2ndary drive where I store all my iTunes music. I did back the drive up so there is a copy of everything. Here's what I'm hoping someone will be able to help me with;

My iTunes is still linked to the previous drive for my music - (ie. it's looking for Drive fgh/itunes/mrblotto/liveaug07/kissmeinthemorning and the file doesn't exist under that name any more). How can I, without reloading everything, redirect my iTunes to read from the new drive, where all my music has been copied.

Any thoughts/suggestions from the contributors of the blog would be a great help.

LEE ADAMA, LIKE DUKE CUNNINGHAM, BUT WITHOUT THE PRICE LIST: If one of these fellows had told Fighter Command, in the Summer of 1940, that they were looking for a new position in the government, I suppose the most likely opening would have been as a four-by-four at the business end of a firing squad lane.

And yet, instead of waiting on the deck to blast Cylons, Lee Adama is speaking truth to power with all the sincerity and import of CSU Northridge's Portugal delegation to the regional Model UN competition.

Never you mind that lame subplot, an interesting episode on the meaning of loss, a growing religious schism, and Col Tigh's new addiction.

A-OOOOH! You wouldn't think that Kid Rock taking the hooks from "Werewolves of London" and "Sweet Home Alabama," tossing them vigorously, and adding some rap would work. But somehow it does.