EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE: Every paragraph in
this story about a chimp that attacked a woman is either absolutely horrifying or bizzarely hilarious. Should a story about a brutal mauling include also descriptions of how the chimp "used a key to escape," attacked an officer
in a police cruiser (was the cop letting him ride shotgun?), had a cup of tea with Xanax before the attack, starred in Old Navy commercials, was unfazed by a knife-and-shovel assault, enjoyed a nice glass of wine, and liked to surf the Internet but was confused by changes in coiffure? I don't like to feel like a bad person, so why write such a sad article in a way that demands Yakety Sax?
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