A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

IT'S LIKE US FOR OLD PEOPLE: Watch!: The CBS Magazine (which I get for free) seems to be doing OK despite the current wintry economic climate (in which no one is looking for a puppeteer!), being seemingly almost entirely advertising, with a heavy tilt toward drug advertising, but let's recap some of the high points in the 92 page (including both front and back covers) June 2009 issue:

• Cover--Eva LaRue, Lauren Lee Smith, and Cote de Pablo wearing haute couture gowns, seated on motorcycles. No, I don't know why. A ten page article/photo spread inside includes additional photos and brief profiles of the three ladies, along with a full page of fashion credits.
  
• A page long spread of "brainy" quotes from Big Bang Theory, which somehow manages to include only four quotes, and not include any discussion of cloning Leonard Nimoy or of Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock.
• Two pages of advice from "Satan" to characters on Gossip Girl. Just because you've read The Screwtape Letters does not justify a pale imitation thereof.
• A two page spread on Alimi Ballard's backyard (apparently, he is on Numb3rs).
• A full-page discussion of the changing hairstyles of Melody Thomas Scott on The Young and the Restless.
• A photo spread of Guiding Light's shoot in Orlando. There is no reference to the show's cancellation.
  
• A 5 page article on how much the CSI folks love Lawrence Fishburne.
• An (actually pretty decent) 7 page look back at Murphy Brown, including 2 full pages devoted to her secretaries.
• David Conrad (from Ghost Whisperer) provides workout advice!
• Jeff Probst's list of ten favorite songs, including "Everlong," "Purple Rain," and "Crash Into Me."
• Of the 92 pages, 28.5 (30.9%) are expressly advertising. This does not include product placement, credits for items used on photo shoots, or the fact that the entire magazine is in essence an ad for CBS programming.