A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

BRING BACK HANK AND OLGA: Via occasional commenter Chuck, this report from a cable channel that Comcast Digital Cable doesn't carry in Philadelphia:

During a rain delay, started flipping. The Game Show Network was showing its new Newlywed Game, hosted by Carnie Wilson. I thought it was great.

1. Carnie may not be as funny as Bob Eubanks, but she comes across as friendly and does her job -- she gets the contestants to explain their answers.

2. They did not really tinker with a good formula -- most of the show is exactly like the old one, no super special effects or quirks. There were some very funny moments. One question, to the ladies, was "would you rather live in a one bedroom house with only one child or a 12 bedroom house with 12 children." One of women actually picked the 12. So the men come out. One guy says, "definitely one" and when asked to explain why he says, "we've talked about this a lot, she wants two, at most." And he was right. The next guy says "definitely one." Why? "There is just zero chance, zero, that she would want 12 kids." He was wrong. another good one: question: if your husband had a top to bottom mental and physical exam, would he most likely be referred to Dr. Phil, Dr. Atkins, or Dr. Ruth. One woman: " Dr. Phil, 'cause there's a lot going on up there. " His answer, "Dr. Phil. [Why?] She says I've got a lot going on." One woman said Dr. Ruth, to her husband's great dismay, although she did explicitly say "not for problems, just for tips."

3. They did add one very nice new element . The "lightning round" part of the show, so to speak, or "end game" or what have you, pits the couple that just won against a "Goldy-wed" couple -- a couple that appeared on the original Newlywed Game in the 70s. It's brilliant. And of course, they show footage of the couple on the show 30 years ago, and then you see them now. They ask 15 questions to both couples in semi-lightning fashion -- the women apparently answered the questions off camera and have their placards ready; they then ask the guys the questions , on camera, at a quick but still leisurely pace, and the couple that gets more right gets the "big" prize (last night a tv that I would value at $1,000 -- maybe). Well last night, those 30 years did the Goldy-weds almost no good. They got NONE right in the lightning round. Neither did the Newlyweds either -- including one hilarious flop: question: if you could live anywhere in the world, where you would live? Husband's guess: "Greece." Her answer: "Long Island." Just, the idea that someone who could live anywhere would say "Long Island" was hilarious (especially without saying "The Hamptons" or something like that). The tiebreaker was sort of lame. The women were asked, ahead of time, to guess how many of the 15 lightning round questions they'd get right, and the couple that was closer to their actual score won. The goldy-weds guessed 9, the newlyweds 10, so the goldy-weds got their tv.

4. In the world of Tivo/DVR, you can sort of play along at home with your spouse. You can pause, have one of you write down the answer, and then the other guesses. You make up the lost time during the ads.