MAIL TIME! First off, this protective disclaimer for all of us -- I am not seeking legal advice through this post, and you are not offering me legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is being formed; we're just chit-chatting.
So, I received a letter yesterday from a law firm attempting to collect on a delinquent account owed to the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue -- employer withholding tax as to our nanny, whom we pay through a professional payroll service. According to the letter, the amount due is $0.04.
The letter further advises that because of a state tax amnesty program, my liability may be reduced if I resolve this within the next few weeks; however, an additional 25% collection cost has been imposed upon my liability.
So: do I call the legal assistant on the phone and negotiate a settlement? Do I just send them three pennies in the mail to see how they respond? Your most creative suggestions are welcome.
So why were you delinquent, Mr. Tax Cheat?
ReplyDeleteAsk for a payment plan. 1 cent a month. And pay that by check, just so the bank can have a good chuckle.
ReplyDeleteSomething kinda like this once happened to my dad, to the tune of 3 cents. He decided to go pay it in person, by check, with the note: "I spent more on gas to get this over here, enjoy cashing it"
ReplyDeleteI am not admitting that I am delinquent, only that the letter says I am.
ReplyDeleteSee if you can pay by credit card -- the merchant transaction fee should be significantly more than 4 cents.
ReplyDeleteIf you send them a nickel I think they'll have to process you a refund check.
ReplyDeleteYou could have so much fun with this. Tell them that in the interest of being "green" rather than pay them by check, you would like to give them a soda can.
ReplyDeleteMany coupons have a value of 1/20th of a cent; you could send them 80 coupons. But that's a lot of work on your part.
ReplyDeleteBut on a payment plan, it would be 20 a month. That seems manageable.
ReplyDeleteAt some point at Cal, they imposed a $5 fee for changing classes past week one. But when I went to do it, neither I nor the registrar could remember if it was $5 or $10, so I wrote them a check for $10. For the next three years, I got a quarterly statement from the University saying I owed $0.00 and I needed to remit a check for -$5.00. Eventually they stopped, but I regret not sending a check for negative $5.
ReplyDeleteAs for you Adam, definitely negotiate a settlement, or at least a payment plan!
Oh, that is even better than my receiving a series of letters threatening me with collection because there was an overdue charge of $0.00 on my phone bill. I'm assuming it was a fractional cent that got rounded down, but I really didn't know what to do with it. How much would a collection agency pay for that liability?
ReplyDeleteWell assuming you bill your legal services at $500 per hour, you could offer to perform legal work for Pennsylvania for approximately 1/4 of a second. Or, you could perform 1 second of work for them and then bill them for 9.8 cents. Or one minute and they could owe you $8.29.
ReplyDeletePay in stamps. But create your own photo stamps with a photo of the nanny.
ReplyDeleteI got a final bill from AT&T for $.04. I mailed them a nickle taped to the bill. I honestly received a check from them for the $.01 difference.
ReplyDeleteLots of good ideas here. I like the coupon idea -- and frankly, you don't even have to clip them. Just save one of those flyers that come in the mail or with the paper, and give them that once a month.
ReplyDeleteI used to work for a fellow who got a quarterly dividend check for $0.30 from some oil company, and he insisted on taking it to the bank to cash it.
ReplyDeleteI've left a phone message with the collecting law firm. No response.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I believe that each of you must owe me .04 for something.
ReplyDeleteThe IRS once tracked me down for $2.00 I owed them. Took them 8 years to find me, and I'd changed addresses at least six times in the interim. I thought THAT was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteYou win.
Ha! Marsha, your IRS story reminds me of the paperboy harassing John Cusack in "Better Off Dead."
ReplyDelete"I want my two dollars!"
send a certified letter demanding they cease and desist contacting you and that if they persist you will complain under the Fair Debt Collection Act. Demand litigation to clear your name, state you intend to depose 100 people and file a phone book of interogatories; sign the letter in blood.
ReplyDeleteSent from my wife's laptop, so sorry, no avatar.
The sad thing is that there is already one law firm in the process doing this . . .
ReplyDelete"I'm sorry Billy, I don't have a dime right now."
ReplyDeleteHis blood has to be worth 4 cents, so that'll do it right there.
ReplyDeleteThe husband says wampum.
ReplyDeleteUh huh. Criminal.
ReplyDeleteOk folks. I got the same letter. I once did an art show in PA and was required to collect and file sales tax. I have done no commerce since and have ended my vendor relationship (whatever that is officially called). And I got the exact same letter, claiming I owe $.04
ReplyDeleteAlrighty then-- class action suit it is!
ReplyDeleteIf you're an artist, you could offer to pay them with product. Send them a priceless sketch.
ReplyDelete