A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

"PROPS. ALL PROPS MUST CONTINUE TO BE MAD PROPS": One of my favorite annual posts on the blog is the release of the annual University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt list. It's Mother's Day weekend, so say hello to the 2010 edition, which includes....

• Feed your Tamagotchi. To a woodchipper. Then get a team member to throw something else we hate into a volcano. DESTROOOOY! [4 points; 26 points]
• The MacGyver Challenge: Using nothing other than $10 worth of unlikely goods from a local dollar store and your Swiss Army knife, create a device that will (1) create a 15-45 second delayed guard distraction, (2) serve as a pH meter (+/- 1 unit accuracy), (3) double as quick-setting epoxy, or (4) emit or jam an AM or FM radio signal. [(20 - X) points, where X is the cost of the materials in your device as con rmed by receipt]
• A collegiate or professional sports team's pre-game video introduction even more extreme than that of the 2007-08 UAF Nanooks. Note: The pre-game video introduction for the 2009-10 UAF Nanooks, though clearly satisfying the requirements of this item, will not earn you any points. [12 points]
• A pinata that, when cracked open, disgorges a litter of unborn baby pinatas. Within the fetal pinatas? Broken dreams. . . and candy! [27 points]
• Visit the grave of the only European sovereign buried in America and pick up a calendar at the neighboring church. [12 points]
• An illustrated Canadian Kama Sutra. One act per province. But nothing from the territories, you pervert. [18 points]
• The longest possible unbroken strip of orange peel. [0.5 points per inch over 48]
• Perform a Benihana-caliber teppanyaki routine on your antigriddle. [16 points]
• A tampon that looks like Lady Gaga. [4 points]
• If you wanted the Judges to like it, you shoulda put a ring on it. During the judging of this page, a single Scavvy should be ashing the following rings: Class, Championship, Signet, Purity, Archery, Thumb, Mood, One (to rule them all, of course), Green Lantern, -Pop^TM, and one containing the largest precious gem you can fi nd. That's ten, so don't go all "The Mandarin" on us. [1 point each, 5 bonus points for all ten]
• That is highly illegal. Wait, it's not? Find something that can be legally purchased in Chicago, yet is so patently contrary to the general welfare as to shock the conscience of a Judge. Proof of purchase required. [15 points]
• Our lives are led by so many exemplary figures, it's sometimes hard to choose which one we'd actually like to see in the flesh. Captains never disappoint, though, so we expect to see the full crew on Thursday morning: (1) Captain Cupcake, (2) Captain Haddock, (3) Captain Solo, (4) Captain Eo, (5) Captain Planet, (6) Captain Hook, (7) Captain America, (8) Captain Ahab, (9) Captain Picard, and (10) Cap'n Crunch.