Wednesday, November 9, 2011

FOR THE CASTURBATION DESK:  Following Brett Ratner's necessary exit, Eddie Murphy has quit as Academy Awards host.  I cannot possibly imagine who y'all will recommend in his stead.

39 comments:

  1. This really sounds like a job for NPH.

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  2. Maret2:45 PM

    Totally agree. I know we always run to NPH, but the man has a great track record for this kind of thing. 

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  3. sconstant2:48 PM

    I think since that February geek-off thread, Anne Hathaway has disqualified herself for this position.

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  4. Benner2:50 PM

    Clooney? 

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  5. NPH, John Cho, and Kal Penn, all as their characters in the Harold and Kumar movies.

    One of the problems with Franco last year was that they stepped up to the stoner comedy line, and didn't cross it. This year, embrace it.

    Also, there's a joke along the lines of 'NPH won't have any problem with rehearsals' lying there, but I won't touch it...

    Alternately, Jason Segel, Kermit the Frog, and Miss Piggy co-hosting would work pretty well, I suspect.

    (A new tradition of running through the Freaks and Geeks cast seems like a good idea for the Academy)

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  6. My suggestion on the Twitters: to commemorate the end of the Harry Potter franchise, have Emma Thompson (a 2x winner) and either Alan Rickman or Ralph Fiennes host.

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  7. isaac_spaceman3:03 PM

    Ratner withdrawing was supposedly an act of contrition.  Murphy withdrawing appears to be an act of retaliation.  Boo. 

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  8. isaac_spaceman3:04 PM

    If Alan Rickman hosts, they'll never come in on time.  "The nominees for Best



    Supporting



    Actor

    are as follows

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  9. Benner3:29 PM

    I am truly shocked to see homophobic sentiments expressed or endorsed by Edward Murphy.

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  10. Marsha3:40 PM

    Have him co-host with Shatner. We should find out who wins the 2011 Best Picture round about 2015.

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  11. Bryan Cranston and Giancarlo Esposito.  Sure, I want them because of their work on tv, not movies, but they've both been in movies too, right??

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  12. I believe Joe Paterno will be available.

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  13. Goghaway3:59 PM

    Jimmy Fallon would probably do a good job. He's game, good at putting celebs at ease (he got Jennifer Aniston to actually look comfortable in an interview for once), inoffensive, and fun. And if I'm being totally honest, if he got the Roots to somehow perform at any point during the proceedings I'd be in heaven.

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  14. isaac_spaceman4:10 PM

    I'm seeing Twitter support for the Muppets.  I would love it, you would love it, the Disney/Muppet folks (really, everybody who is "in the Jason Segel business") would love it, and it will never happen because the Academy thinks that this is a serious celebration of the industry, not a TV show.  The insiders want a host that will make them feel important, not like supporting players. 

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  15. Well, that still depends on whether the new movie got the Muppets right.  The little note in the EW cover story that the guy who played Kermit considered removing his name from the credits ... oy.

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  16. I know I'm in the minority, but I really liked Anne Hathaway last year. (Although not paired with James Franco.)  She was a bit hyper, yes, but she was also fun, classy, game to do things like musical numbers, and understood that half the fun of the Oscars is seeing what people are wearing, so she gave us six great looks.

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  17. Craig4:18 PM

    Personally thinking NPH, Hugh Jackman, or Billy Crystal. Previous experience matters and the ability to carry the show. Especially on *cough* short notice.

    BC's a bit of a nostalgia pick, but IIRC, he experessed an interest in doing it again recently. And, while not so relevant these days, not thinking Bob Hope was relevant for his entire stint either.

    Still, all kinda safe picks. Then again, the Oscars aren't a Ricky Gervais kind of show, y'know?

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  18. kd bart4:34 PM

    Joe Piscopo?

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  19. Jennifer4:36 PM

    I suspected Eddie Murphy would suck rancid donkey balls at this point and make James Franco look good in retrospect, so I am pleased at this news.

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  20. Things to remember:

    1.  Despite what the Emmys have done the past few years, it's awkward for a likely nominee to be hosting. Given that Clooney is a likely nominee (for The Descendants) and Melissa McCarthy is a likely nominee (her and screenplay for Bridesmaids are the clear "populist" nominations for that film), it's not going to happen.
    2.  With very few exceptions, they want an established recent film star or comedian to host.  Someone whose primary claim to fame is TV and smallish parts in movies is probably not going to sell (which creates problems for NPH or Jon Hamm, both of whom would be great).
    3.  Disney/ABC isn't going to pick someone (certainly as a solo act) whose primary claim is on another network--this takes out of the running Leno (who I'm SHOCKED has never hosted, even though it'd be painful), Fallon, Fey (either alone or in combination with Baldwin/Carell/Poehler), Letterman, and Ferguson.  They might get away with a cable personality (Stewart, Colbert, Conan), but that's tricky.

    I wouldn't be shocked to see Jimmy Kimmel get the nod because he's ABC's boy, gets a buzz every once in a while, and is "safe" (in contrast to Gervais).

    And I agree with Sue about Hathaway--she was great opposite Jackman a few years back as his foil, and I think last year just wound up overcompensating for an overly withdrawn cohost.

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  21. slowlylu5:10 PM

    Radical idea - have Betty White and Debbie Reynolds present. Carrie Fisher, Fallon and Fey to write and Jackman and Hathaway to do a musical introduction.

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  22. One other point is that I'm wondering if the Academy had second thoughts about Murphy as well.  Tower Heist wasn't a bomb, but it certainly underperformed expectations for its opening, and reviews were (at best) mixed.  Add to that Murphy's own less-than-savory history with racial/sexual stereotypes, and you have a potential problem

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  23. lisased5:25 PM

    What about Fallon and Timberlake?

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  24. isaac_spaceman5:39 PM

    Billy Crystal can't make it, because that same night he's committed to hosting the Never Gonna See Him Againmmys at the In My Fantasies Theater.  He's giving a Lifetime Achievement Neveragainmmy to Bruce Vilanch.   

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  25. Craig5:49 PM

    Darn. Bruce Vilanch was my next choice.

    I wonder what Arsenio Hall is doing these days...

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  26. Adlai6:12 PM

    Bonnie Hunt, Tina Fey, Lily Tomlin (who is at EGT), Jessica Walter, Sandra Bullock, Sigorney Weaver. 

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  27. Devin McCullen6:17 PM

    I was running through movie stars in my head, and you know who would probably be a good pick?  Sandra Bullock.  Most of the audience likes her, and she can be pretty funny when she has good material.  (That's a whole different issue.) 

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  28. DonBoy6:47 PM

    Since SNL barely uses him: Jay Pharoah, doing an Eddie Murphy impression from start to finish.

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  29. Maret6:49 PM

    Brian Grazer is now in as producer. Another idea that I'm stealing from a piece on The Envelope: Steve Carrell to host. Could be a lot of fun.

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  30. JosephFinn7:04 PM

    No, I'm with you Sue.  Franco was boring, but Anne was a lot of fun, though she had really weak material to work with.

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  31. JosephFinn7:05 PM

    I....kind of like this idea.

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  32. Jordan8:30 PM

    Dan Aykroyd, for obvious reasons.

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  33. Devin McCullen8:45 PM

    Here's a terrible idea, but I'm sure somebody at Disney suggested it - Johnny Depp hosts as Jack Sparrow.

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  34. lisased9:22 PM

    Damn. Mr. sed just suggested Michael Bay as producer. It would be AWESOME.

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  35. Ooh, the Roots could do every Best Song nominee; they'd be way better than anything else the Academy could put together....

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  36. Roger1:31 AM

    Isn't it obvious? Charlie Sheen.

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  37. Roger1:31 AM

    Isn't it obvious? Charlie Sheen.

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  38. Roger1:32 AM

    Isn't it obvious? Charlie Sheen.

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  39. Roger1:32 AM

    Uh, no clue why that posted three times. Sorry about that.

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