A RECAP OF A SHOW I'VE NEVER SEEN: Last night, or perhaps some night prior or subsequent to last night, marked or will the debut of hit network comedy Work It, which ABC loves so much that it stuffed Cougar Town in a trunk and buried it under the basement. I didn't watch, but I think I've seen enough in commercials and TV criticism to offer this guaranteed 100%-accurate review:
Work It is a show from successful creators Pauly Shore and Martin Vanger about two guys who wear flannel unironically and who are so heterosexually masculine that they can impregnate women just by pheremoning at them. When the Feminocracy targets them for the unpardonable crime of hirsute virility, they are given disgustingly effete pink slips and forced to look for new jobs.
Of course, the only jobs available in this swishy economy are in the combined cosmetic/pharma sales/prostitute industry. So Sucre from Prison Break and Bland Don from Bland TV Writers Fantasize that Robin Shirbatsky Is Attracted to Bland Men are forced to stow their guns, chewing tabacky, and power tools, tuck their other stuff where it don't show, and dress like Matthew Modine in Phoebe Cates's Private School just to get by. They wear dresses and speak in falsetto and hope not to be unmasked when they belch and fart through meetings, because man-gas cannot be contained. Sucre discovers that beneath his veneer of one-note stereotypical masclinity are unplumbed depths of one-note spicy latina stereotypes. Bland Don learns that women are too dumb to know the difference between women and barely disguised men, but that this is because all of their evolutionary intelligence has been funneled into studying the impenetrable mysteries of beauty and fashion. Both discover that aged doctors just cannot keep their hands off of professional saleswomen, especially those with visible five-o'clock shadows and bulging muscles. And also Bland Don sleeps with the doctors, because he wants to get ahead at work but also because he likes to taste the forbidden fruit, and for Bland Don's success, Sucre is secretly jealous and ultimately murders Bland Don in his sleep. Roll credits!
Pretty sure that's all accurate.
Learning of this show's premise and existence was one of those moments that made me stop and say, "Wow. Not only did someone conceive of this, they passed it through a chain of command who approved it at every level." Disheartening, to say the least. I'm not the smartest consumer out there but it makes me both angry and sad that those decision-makers think so little of people like me that they serve up this dreck.
ReplyDeleteI assumed this was the one where they couldn't find an apartment until their friend told them about the wonderful accommodations at the Susan B Anthony Hotel. How could I have been so mistaken?
ReplyDeleteHow could you have been so mistaken? Because you were busy pretending to be gay so that your landlord would let you live with the unfunny one and the mentally disabled blonde who didn't own any clothes?
ReplyDeleteMade the mistake of watching this show. Your review is spot-on but for one serious omission: "Of course, Bland Don learns some heartwarming lessons about his relationship with his wife as a result of seeing the world through the eyes of a pharma-slut."
ReplyDeleteObviously, you didn't watch it, or you would have known that it's spelled "Scherbatsky".
ReplyDeleteI could have looked it up, but that would have been too much thought for either Work It or HIMYM.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I would have argued with you during seasons 1, 2 or 3 of HIMYM. But now? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering what the pitch to network executives sounded like. "It's like 'Bosom Buddies,' but without Tom Hanks!"
ReplyDeleteThere's a wife? Well, that changes everything!
ReplyDeleteWasted too many words. I think "it sucks" kind of captures it.
ReplyDeleteAllegedly, the reason they're holding Cougar Town is that:
ReplyDelete1. It's not viewed as demographically compatible with Last Man Standing (the only vacant half hour slot right now), while Work It theoretically is (male skewing). (Also, unlike LMS and Work It, Cougar Town doesn't stink.)
2. They want to pair it with "Apartment 23," which is supposed to be excellent and a good mesh with it, and want an hour slot. I wouldn't be shocked to see the shows paired on Tuesdays at 9 out of DWTS results at 8, with "Scandal" at 10, which would be a solid night of TV for them, and not introduce conflicts, at least since Parenthood is wrapping its season early.
Sure, they can pair it with Apartment 23, and then cancel both.
ReplyDelete