YES, SENSEI: With an eye towards Javier Bardem's bleached appearance as a villain in the next Bond film, Vulture slideshows Great Blonde Villains in Film History, assessing them both on commitment to evil and commitment to blonde-ness.
One whole category unmentioned in the survey: blonde mean girls in tween TV and movies (Sharpay in HSM, Tess in Camp Rock, Lexi on A.N.T. Farm, etc.). My (blonde) 10-year-old daughter HATES the fact that mean girls always seem to be blonde, and she's made it her personal mission to write original shows in which blondes are the nice girls.
I read an article a month or so ago measuring the length of load-lag that a person will suffer before clicking away from a web site. It was like 250 nanoseconds or something crazy-short like that. Slide shows always load slowly (high-bandwidth blinking/moving/splash ads load first), and you know that you're in for 10 or 15 pages of that, broken up by a page or two of pure ad. So while I understand the economic imperative behind the reliance by sites like Vulture and Hitfix on page-view-multiplying slide shows, fuck that. I just do not understand how a person could possibly care enough about blond villains to have the patience to click through a 10-slide show. I guess that you only need one person out of 10 to click through a 10-page slide show (or 1 out of 20 for a 20-pager) to make it worth the trouble, but I don't see myself as that person. I'm far more likely to write 500 words about how I won't do it.
<p>Evil Factor: 3. Communist, inadvertantly kills Apollo
ReplyDeleteGotta love the ranking there.</p>
One whole category unmentioned in the survey: blonde mean girls in tween TV and movies (Sharpay in HSM, Tess in Camp Rock, Lexi on A.N.T. Farm, etc.). My (blonde) 10-year-old daughter HATES the fact that mean girls always seem to be blonde, and she's made it her personal mission to write original shows in which blondes are the nice girls.
ReplyDeleteThen she's old enough for the tv edited version of Legally Blonde. A<span>mmonium thioglycolate!</span>
ReplyDeleteI don't know if he's properly the villain of the piece, but Jake Busey in "The Frighteners" creeped me out with his toothy blondeness.
ReplyDelete"If he dies, he dies!"
ReplyDeleteNo Simon Gruber?
ReplyDeleteI read an article a month or so ago measuring the length of load-lag that a person will suffer before clicking away from a web site. It was like 250 nanoseconds or something crazy-short like that. Slide shows always load slowly (high-bandwidth blinking/moving/splash ads load first), and you know that you're in for 10 or 15 pages of that, broken up by a page or two of pure ad. So while I understand the economic imperative behind the reliance by sites like Vulture and Hitfix on page-view-multiplying slide shows, fuck that. I just do not understand how a person could possibly care enough about blond villains to have the patience to click through a 10-slide show. I guess that you only need one person out of 10 to click through a 10-page slide show (or 1 out of 20 for a 20-pager) to make it worth the trouble, but I don't see myself as that person. I'm far more likely to write 500 words about how I won't do it.
ReplyDeleteYou and me both. Didn't I complain about this in the comments here a few months ago?
DeleteAlso: Quarles.
--Ted
Diane Chambers. (She WAS TOO the villain.)
ReplyDelete