Monday, August 29, 2016

P-R-E, M-O-R, S-E..something something:  Annette Funicello, who I assumed was both dead and way older than 70, is dead only now.

ETA:  Apparently, this story is three years old and, due the vagaries of how FB threads news stories, this appeared this morning.  I am pretty sure I would have been surprised that she was still alive to be dead in 2013, but this is not -- properly -- premorse.
JURORS GONNA JUR JUR JUR JUR:  Taylor Swift is on jury duty in Nashville today.

Monday, August 22, 2016

KEEP ON WITH THE FORCE, DON'T STOP:  Pitchfork goes Top 200 on Songs of the 1970s, and this is a lovely meditation on #15, "Bohemian Rhapsody":
And yet, at its heart, “Bohemian Rhapsody” holds a secret: What the Bismillah is it all about? For decades, the band guarded it fiercely, demurring only to say that it was the composer’s personal business. Ultimately, his lover Jim Hutton confessed that it is the singer’s coming out. 
Mercury sings to his previous sexual partner/flatmate/best friend Mary Austin that he “just killed a man”—his old hetero self—via his first gay affair; the rift it causes is so traumatic that he momentarily comes to the conclusion that many LGBT people—who even today experience rates of suicide far exceeding their straight brothers and sisters—still at times reach: “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.”  
But Mercury escapes this torment, and plunges himself into a world of man-on-man masculinity embodied by the kick-ass section so beloved by Wayne and Garth and headbangers everywhere. As for the self-hatred and societal obstacles, he gets himself right outta there, and ascends to a place where he can be truly free. Across every religion, that’s the very definition of heaven, of divinity, and that’s why the most secretly gay song of all time is also one of the most universal. It’s the story of Mercury learning to love himself. Who can’t relate to that?
I READ ABOUT IT IN TRONC: Panda Express, the place you go when you're at a mall and want Chinese food, and don't want to drive to the nearest Pei Wei, has rolled out the unholy union of a fork and chopsticks.  Naturally,it's called a chork.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

AQUAMAN'S TRIDENT:  The ALOTT5MA Vexillology Desk is re-opened to note Shea Serrano's attempt to rank (many of the) Olympic nations based on national flag. Also, gratuitous TPE-wooing:
5. Belize
It’s like there was a meeting and the person in charge of the meeting was like, “We’re here today to determine what should go on our national flag.” Then some guy in the back was like, “What about 50 leaves in a circle?” And a woman a few rows ahead of them was like, “No, no, no. How about a tree?” And then a guy on the left side of the room was like, “I like boats.” And then a different guy on the same side of the room was like, “Hey, oars are cool.” Then a woman different from that first woman was like, “How about two men, one browner than the other?” And then a different guy in the front row was like, “Let’s not forget saws and axes.” And that first person in charge of the meeting was just standing there, taking it all in. Then he was like, “You know what? Fuck it. Put it all on there. Meeting adjourned.” It’s the same way they made the cover for Willie D’s Controversy in 1989.

Monday, August 15, 2016

IT'S A SLED:  The AV Club looks at an interesting question--do spoilers constitute copyright infringement?  AMC has apparently been sending letters to Walking Dead fan sites threatening them with copyright claims if they spoil the result of last season's cliffhanger.  While there's an argument that this sort of spoiler is akin to that found not to be fair use in Nation v. Harper and Row--it's a small taking, but a crucial one--it's hard to say that any substantial number of people are not going to watch the show because they knew in advance what was going to happen.
INCLUDING THE CRAZY SUMMER THAT HAD ONE CRAZY SUMMER:  Steve Hyden endeavors to rank the past 40 summers for movie quality, or at least, the top 10 and bottom 10.  (M.I.A.: 1999, with Sixth Sense, South Park: BLU, American Pie, and more.)

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND:  I think Lorne's making a real mistake in weakening an already sub-par male half of the SNL cast by axing versatile Taran Killam and Jay Pharoah with one year left on their contracts. How do you not have an Obama while Obama is still in office? (What: Pete Davidson?)  And how do you replace all the impressions Killam does so adeptly, as well as the dancing ability?  The world does not need a Christoph Waltz impersonator, but damn his is good.

We're going to end up with Kenan Thompson as Tim Kaine, aren't we.
SOMEONE IS GETTING THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW:  The Rock has declared that some of his male co-stars in the upcoming Fast 8 are "candy-asses."  Speculation generally revolves around new cast addition Scott Eastwood, though Kurt Russell (who appeared in a small role in Furious 7) seems to be a possibility.

Monday, August 8, 2016

DOES THIS MEAN PIGGY IS ELIZA?  Despite their last TV show being a failure, Disney is staying in the Muppet business, launching a new show at Disney World where the Muppets present "their own unique take on the founding fathers and the birth of the United States of America."