1. When Billy Crystal comes out, he will be costumed as (a) Capt. Jack Sparrow; (b) Aileen Wuornos; (c) Jesus on the cross; (d) Other.
2. Number of times that a black person is mentioned by a presenter that are immediately followed by a camera shot of a black person in the crowd: (a) all of them; (b) black people? that was two years ago.
3. Biggest applause during the necrology will be reserved for (a) Bob Hope; (b) Katherine Hepburn; (c) Gregory Hines; (d) Leni Riefenstahl.
4. Which inexplicable former Oscar winner of evanescent appeal will be presenting an award? (a) Cuba Gooding Jr.; (b) Mira Sorvino; (c) Mercedes Ruehl; (d) Mary Steenburgen; (e) Bring back The F!; (f) Seriously, this could be a long list; (g) Geoffrey Rush won for Shine? Yeah, that's a movie I've wanted to see again, ever; (h) Ben Affleck will always be known as A Former Academy Award Winner because he co-wrote a glorified afterschool special. Isn't that ridiculous?
More later, maybe. Enjoy the show.