Saturday, February 6, 2010
I wonder if it makes sense to schedule the violent films together -- Avatar, The Hurt Locker, District 9 and Inglorious Basterds -- with perhaps A Serious Man thrown in the middle as a palate cleanser just because I think that's what Hashem would want.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Let's say you're on 'Jeopardy!' and you're absolutely routing your two opponents. You have $40,000 going into the final round, while one of your opponents has, let's say, $15,000. You're guaranteed to move onto the next day, but the final category comes up and it has something to do with baseball, which is your favorite sport. How much — if anything — do you risk?
It's at this point where most people usually tell me that they'd risk just enough to ensure that they would win even if they got the question wrong.
And it's at this point that my response to those people is always the same: "You'd be crazy to leave free money on the table. I'd bet the whole thing."
The person then responds by calling me an idiot while I try to back up my reasoning.
To help you out, the link includes the last ten baseball-specific Final Jeopardy! questions, which just served to convince me that I should play this one conservatively -- because if you can't go 10/10 on them it's not worth the risk.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
David Sills, a highly-touted youth quarterback, made a verbal commitment tonight to accept a college football scholarship from USC.Sills was already being profiled by SI when he was 11.
Sills is not even in high school yet. He is a seventh-grader at Red Lion Christian Academy in Bear.
Red Lion high school varsity coach Eric Day confirmed the decision by Sills tonight, also confirming that USC coach Lane Kiffin made the scholarship tonight to the 13-year-old Sills.
...Sills will be able to sign a letter of intent in February 2015, unless of course NCAA regulations have changed by then.
N.B. The referenced Diff'rent Strokes episode "Where There's Smoke" is online in its entirety.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Isaac will be amused that his Mariners placed first in one list, and last in the other.
Maybe there isn't overlap in their coverage areas, but really, what unit of measurement would you pick to calculate the upgrade from Richard Rushfield to Todd VanDerWerff?
[And, seriously, check out that second link and underlying study, comparing the calories-per-transaction for Starbucks in NYC under the labeling law with Philadelphia and Boston. Neat stuff.]
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Full list of performers here, including Barbra Streisand, Freda Payne, Brian Wilson, Gladys Knight, Natalie Cole and also a bevvy of one-named artists under the age of 60 including Akon, Brandy, Mya, Will.i.am, Pink, Usher and holy crap is there really a rapper named "Nipsey Hussle"? Because that's awesome.
Among the absent: Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake and Ra-Ra-Ah-Ah-Ah, Roma, Ro-Ma-Ma, Gaga, Ooh La La.
Surprises? Films getting the "bonus slots" for Best Picture include The Blind Side, A Serious Man, District 9 and Up, but not Invictus or Crazy Heart; Maggie Gyllenhaal gets her first nomination in best supporting for Crazy Heart, a slot most figured would go to Julianne Moore (A Single Man) or one of the women from Inglorious Basterds. No screenplay nom for Avatar. More commentary to follow.
As I said to Adam, I'm out of the Lost prediction business, which does nothing but distract me from giving in to the show. It's up to you to decide (or, more accurately, to speculate recklessly) whether the characters' unknowing repetition of prior events was a clue or just a stylistic parlor trick. As if that makes it any different from the numbers, the polar bears, the sickness, or anything else.
Monday, February 1, 2010
added: 22 entrants as of 9am Tuesday. Still plenty of time.
Welcome to the Hanso Island Resort and Adventure Spa! Our staff is on call to facilitate your comfort 24 hours a day, but especially when you’re sleeping and defenseless. If you’d prefer to explore our facilities on your own, we hope this guidebook will be helpful.
You’re on island time now! Your watch won't work here. Relax and let the island set your schedule. You’ll get up when the sun rises. You’ll eat when the airdrop gets here. You’ll sleep when you’ve been clubbed with a blunt object.
Visitors of all ages will love our deviously complicated hatch maze. If you lose your bearings, you can always check the secret black-light map. Just look for the spot on the ceiling where our caretaker blew his brains out, then turn on the black light by waiting 107 minutes before keying in the disaster-aversion sequence.
Feeling amorous? Upgrade to our Honeymoon Cage, where an intimate night under the stars is followed by a fine bear-cracker meal from an electro-shock machine and a beating from the staff. Amenities include a closed-circuit video feed directly to your other boyfriend.
Did you know our whole island is a living zoo? You never know when you’ll run into a hungry polar bear or branded shark or smoke monster. The first two can and will feed themselves, but if you’d like to feed the smoke monster, it eats human frailty.
We have hundreds of exotic hiking trails. Beginners especially love Murder Valley, Abduction Ridge, Unstable Explosive Loop, and Earbleed Perambulation. More experienced hikers may wish to try Attrition Deathpath and Tormenting Whisper Dead Girlfriend Incline.
Parents: You’ll love our Kids Club! Our counselors will lead your children in crafts, hikes, and insurrection. Underattended children will be enrolled in the Kids’ Club.
If a crazed physicist, apparition, smoke monster, paramilitarist, or future incarnation of yourself tells you to leave, please proceed in an orderly fashion to the nearest submarine, tanker, or wormhole. We’re sure you’ll come back. We mean it: we’re sure you’ll come back.
Our resort is as legendary for its natural healing properties as for its unnatural killing efficiency. In the unlikely event that you both need and are allowed access to first-aid, our sterile facilities are located in a hole in the ground, where we coerce reluctant bystanders into impromptu surgery.
Feel like exploring the area? A smaller equally deadly island is a short blindfolded boat ride away. Or you can sail into the wide blue ocean, domain of sniper fire, marauding child-stealers, and brain-exploding nosebleeds.
If you just can’t get enough of the Hanso Island Resort, try one of our package deals!
- Loyalty Rewards Program: We know that it’s hard to go back to the real world once you’ve been here. If you manage to leave, you’ll understand what we mean. So we’ll throw in the return flight for free! Come back to remember why you left in the first place!
- The Family Package: Mom and dad worked here. Your secret brother and sister spent time here. You were born here. You gave birth in one of our state-of-the-art holes in the ground. You misplaced your father’s corpse here. Come home -- you're family.
- In-Kind Discounts: Feeling kidnapped? We want you to feel wanted.
- Yoga on the beach: sunrise
- One-way swimming: noon
- High-impact torturing: check weekly schedule
- Running from flaming arrows: sunset to sunrise
Underground scavenger hunt every Wednesday! Find: A salty sea captain’s costume; a nuclear bomb; an Egyptian temple; your own dessicated time-traveled corpses; a donkey wheel; Juliet.
Thursday is date night!
- Singles Mixer: Small Conference Room A. We remind you to use caution when hooking up, since you are probably related.
- Widowed Lovers Mixer: Ballroom C.
Sunday: Nondenominational services and ritual sacrifice at the three-toed foot of Anubis.
ABSOLUTELY NO "WE ALL EVERYBODY!"
Enjoy your stay -- or else!