Tuesday, December 16, 2003
FREE MUKTUK! (AND/OR WILLY): In a strange end to the strange life of the planet's most celebrated not-a-fish since Moby Dick, reports came in today about the demise of Keiko, the cetacean sensation who starred in Free Willy.
Believe it or not, they buried him. Obviously to prevent ravenous fans from making a celebrity muktuk of his noble remains.
In the grand scheme of things, burying a sea mammal in the frozen tundra strikes me as about as appropriate as knighting Mick Jagger, (and/or using a captive whale to make a movie about why whales shouldn't be kept captive). But actually, it does nicely sum up the contradictions that are layered into our species' all-too-human treatment of this single, long-suffering creature.
Considering the whole sordid story, I speculate that Keiko may have been the first non-human animal to directly experience irony. He may even have died of an irony overdose . . . they just called it pneumonia.
(And if you think this was a tendentious bit of windy commentary thinly linked to it's alleged subject, check this dude out.)
Believe it or not, they buried him. Obviously to prevent ravenous fans from making a celebrity muktuk of his noble remains.
In the grand scheme of things, burying a sea mammal in the frozen tundra strikes me as about as appropriate as knighting Mick Jagger, (and/or using a captive whale to make a movie about why whales shouldn't be kept captive). But actually, it does nicely sum up the contradictions that are layered into our species' all-too-human treatment of this single, long-suffering creature.
Considering the whole sordid story, I speculate that Keiko may have been the first non-human animal to directly experience irony. He may even have died of an irony overdose . . . they just called it pneumonia.
(And if you think this was a tendentious bit of windy commentary thinly linked to it's alleged subject, check this dude out.)
Monday, December 15, 2003
AND THE WINNER IS: Continuing with our absurdly popular end-of-year roundup, I feel the need to recognize a winner in the category of Most Deteriorated Cultural Icon of 2003.
In a year in which an already-deteriorated Michael Jackson was felled by the Bashir documentary and criminal charges, and in which Madonna managed a trifecta of generating a widely-ignored-and-panned movie, book and album in a single twelve-month span, plus the New York Times suffering embarassment after embarrassment after embarassment, it's hard to pick just one winner.
But I'd like to do so anyway, because this was the year that Saturday Night Live fell into the shitter again.
Come on: name one memorable sketch from this season. One that provoked a laugh from actual humor, and not just a smile of recognition.
Two main factors has led to the show's swift decline, so far as I can tell:
1. Will Ferrell. It's been a year and a half, and they haven't been able to replace the most versatile, reliable performer since the late Phil Hartman. Hell, they haven't even been able to replace Tracy Morgan.
At a time when the show has never had as good a group of female performers in Dratch-Fey-Poehler-and-especially-Rudolph (except when they had all four, plus Gasteyer), the men are weak -- and Jimmy Fallon still, especially, sucks. When you don't have talented white guys to anchor the show, you can't do a lot of mainstream topical humor effectively, and it shows.
2. Smugness and Cycles. SNL is cyclical, and every once in a while, you need to dump out the old and freshen the blood. Sometimes you need to start from scratch, as they did in 1985 and 1995, in order to find the new talent.
(At the very least, no one -- and this means you, Darrell Hammond -- has any reason to stick around for a ninth season.)
Because what happens when people stay around too long is exactly what you're seeing now: even talented people like Tina Fey start coasting on attitude and a sense of entitlement-to-laughs, and not good writing. Have you seen Weekend Update lately? She's now playing the role of "Tina Fey, Sassy Anchor", rather than actually being the Tina Fey we all fell for a few years ago.
Cast members now try to make each other laugh (see Sanz-Fallon, any week), rather than the audience, and have totally exhausted their library of recurring characters. I mean, does the world need more Darrell Hammond-as-Chris-Matthews? More Donatella Versace?
Even when new talent is brought in, like Fred Armisen and Finesse Mitchell, it's not like they're given anything to do, given the current star system that says that Jimmy Fallon can do whatever he wants, even if he's not funny doing it. Their SNL stays will be as memorable as those of Sarah Silverman, Ben Stiller and Siobhan Fallon -- and that's if they're lucky.
It's time for Lorne to take out the trash and start all over again, again. He's good at it. Let Maya Rudolph have her film career, and let us hope for the best in 2004-05. This season's already as good as over.
In a year in which an already-deteriorated Michael Jackson was felled by the Bashir documentary and criminal charges, and in which Madonna managed a trifecta of generating a widely-ignored-and-panned movie, book and album in a single twelve-month span, plus the New York Times suffering embarassment after embarrassment after embarassment, it's hard to pick just one winner.
But I'd like to do so anyway, because this was the year that Saturday Night Live fell into the shitter again.
Come on: name one memorable sketch from this season. One that provoked a laugh from actual humor, and not just a smile of recognition.
Two main factors has led to the show's swift decline, so far as I can tell:
1. Will Ferrell. It's been a year and a half, and they haven't been able to replace the most versatile, reliable performer since the late Phil Hartman. Hell, they haven't even been able to replace Tracy Morgan.
At a time when the show has never had as good a group of female performers in Dratch-Fey-Poehler-and-especially-Rudolph (except when they had all four, plus Gasteyer), the men are weak -- and Jimmy Fallon still, especially, sucks. When you don't have talented white guys to anchor the show, you can't do a lot of mainstream topical humor effectively, and it shows.
2. Smugness and Cycles. SNL is cyclical, and every once in a while, you need to dump out the old and freshen the blood. Sometimes you need to start from scratch, as they did in 1985 and 1995, in order to find the new talent.
(At the very least, no one -- and this means you, Darrell Hammond -- has any reason to stick around for a ninth season.)
Because what happens when people stay around too long is exactly what you're seeing now: even talented people like Tina Fey start coasting on attitude and a sense of entitlement-to-laughs, and not good writing. Have you seen Weekend Update lately? She's now playing the role of "Tina Fey, Sassy Anchor", rather than actually being the Tina Fey we all fell for a few years ago.
Cast members now try to make each other laugh (see Sanz-Fallon, any week), rather than the audience, and have totally exhausted their library of recurring characters. I mean, does the world need more Darrell Hammond-as-Chris-Matthews? More Donatella Versace?
Even when new talent is brought in, like Fred Armisen and Finesse Mitchell, it's not like they're given anything to do, given the current star system that says that Jimmy Fallon can do whatever he wants, even if he's not funny doing it. Their SNL stays will be as memorable as those of Sarah Silverman, Ben Stiller and Siobhan Fallon -- and that's if they're lucky.
It's time for Lorne to take out the trash and start all over again, again. He's good at it. Let Maya Rudolph have her film career, and let us hope for the best in 2004-05. This season's already as good as over.
LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY SING! Our good friend Sarah Weinman insists that you visit the groovy Frank's Vinyl Museum, which features some of the more outlandish recordings ever committed to vinyl.
Go ahead: listen to Muhammad Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay, Bill Cosby crooning Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band or, yes, The Odd Couple Sings.
Go ahead: listen to Muhammad Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay, Bill Cosby crooning Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band or, yes, The Odd Couple Sings.
Sunday, December 14, 2003
MY SPOILER-FREE THOUGHT ON SURVIVOR 7: Second-best of all the seasons, topping even Marquesas and Australia, but not the original. A tremendous final immunity challenge because of what was said, and capped off by a tribe member who played the jury perfectly to earn a victory one might not have expected. (And a winner who, well, see the Comments, and I'll say something spoilerish -- but only peek after you've seen the episode.)
What worked? Two great narrators (Rupert and Jon), one great villain, good twists, and perhaps the season with the most strategic game-playing (and discussion thereof) by the most competitors. Mark Burnett is constantly tinkering with the game to prevent a mass-Pagonging and ensure fluid alliances; this time, as with last season, it worked.
No one was just out there for a vacation, or to make nice. They came to win the game, and knew that doing so meant a lot of mental hustle and an occasional deception. From Savage to Ryno to the woman who reminded me so much of former SNLer Melanie Hutsell that it frightened me, just a fun cast all around. It made for great television.
For those who haven't seen it yet, rest assured that Johnny Fairplay's grandma did make it to the reunion special.
Now, bring on the All-Stars!
What worked? Two great narrators (Rupert and Jon), one great villain, good twists, and perhaps the season with the most strategic game-playing (and discussion thereof) by the most competitors. Mark Burnett is constantly tinkering with the game to prevent a mass-Pagonging and ensure fluid alliances; this time, as with last season, it worked.
No one was just out there for a vacation, or to make nice. They came to win the game, and knew that doing so meant a lot of mental hustle and an occasional deception. From Savage to Ryno to the woman who reminded me so much of former SNLer Melanie Hutsell that it frightened me, just a fun cast all around. It made for great television.
For those who haven't seen it yet, rest assured that Johnny Fairplay's grandma did make it to the reunion special.
Now, bring on the All-Stars!
AWARD TOUR '03: So, as I mentioned in passing a week or two ago, I figured that rather than wait for everyone else to come up with Best-of-'03 lists, that we could see what we could do on our own in a variety of categories. Some, like today's, will be fairly traditional, but then once Survivor's over, voting for Favorite and Least Favorite Reality TV Participant of 2003 will surely soon commence, and various media/culture related categories (Most Self-Important Blogger of the Year?), plus whatever other categories you might suggest.
Anyway, for now, and until you're bored with it: Song of the Year 2003, and in a year where rock pretty much disappeared, the ones that come to mind for me are as follows:
Tell us what songs made you stop twisting the radio dial and compelled you to listen this year.
Anyway, for now, and until you're bored with it: Song of the Year 2003, and in a year where rock pretty much disappeared, the ones that come to mind for me are as follows:
"Crazy In Love", Beyoncé Featuring Jay-Z. If I'm voting for one song, it's probably this. For the chinchilla, for Van Exel, for Beyoncé's range. And, yeah, for the video.
"The Seed v. 2.0", The Roots f/Cody ChesnuTT. Cody makes it clear that he'll screw anything that moves, and the hook on this song is so catchy that you just might spread your legs for him too.
"Mundian To Bach Ke (Beware of the Boys)", Panjabi MC f/Jay-Z. Yeah, Jigga again, and for all the reasons stated previously.
"Hey Ya!", Outkast. I mean, the song makes no sense whatsoever, but it's got more layers than a wedding cake and just makes me smile.
"Gossip Folks" and "Work It", Missy Elliot. Missy brings it even when she ain't speaking words -- it can be backwards or gibberish, and it doesn't matter. Why you act dumb like "uh, duh"?
"Six O'Clock News", Kathleen Edwards. A woman pleads for her boyfriend to end a standoff with the police. It's heartbreaking. "Peter, sweet baby, where'd you get that gun? You spend half your life trying to turn the other half around." (See the video here, or a live performance here.)
Justin Timberlake. Pretty much the whole album. Clipse and J. Timberlake? Yo, how heavy is that? From "Senorita" to "Like I Love You" to "Rock Your Body" to "Cry Me A River", just a fantastically produced, great pop album.
"Stacey's Mom", Fountains of Wayne. Because it's about time The Cars came back.
Tell us what songs made you stop twisting the radio dial and compelled you to listen this year.
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