ORSON, GO HOME AND GET YOUR F---ING SHINE BOX: Martin Scorsese's 1990 mob opus Goodfellas, a film that I too this day still have trouble beleiving lost the Oscar to Dances With Wolves, has been named the greatest movie of all time, in a new poll of the 100 best movies produced by the UK's Total Film magazine.

Here are the top 10:

1. Goodfellas
2. Vertigo
3. Jaws
4. Fight Club
5. The Godfather, Part II
6. Citizen Kane
7. Tokyo Story
8. The Empire Strikes Back
9. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
10. His Girl Friday

I couldn't find the entire list online, but some other notable movies on the list include: Casablanca (No. 98); Lawrence of Arabia (No. 77); Chinatown, (No. 12); Manhattan (No. 13); Taxi Driver (No. 14); It's a Wonderful Life (No. 15); Apocalypse Now (No. 20); Rear Window (No. 24);"Sunset Boulevard" (No. 25), Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (No. 31); The Searchers (No. 34); The Apartment (No. 16) and The Godfather (No. 23)

DIDN'T ZACH RUN FOR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT? I've yet to watch an episode of Commander In Chief, though the pilot is sitting on my TiVo for later viewing, and the news that Mark-Paul Gosselaar will be joining the cast does not exactly make my viewing more likely. What's next? Lark Voorhies joining Desperate Housewives as Alfre Woodard's cousin? Dustin Diamond joining House as a wacky but brilliant new doctor who crosses horns with House while bedding Dr. Cuddy?

IT'S NOT JUST YOU, IT'S ME: Comment posting is screwed up for everyone right now back in business as of 2pm, I think.

SURE, BUT WHO'S HOLDING DONNA NOW? One of my favorite entertainment-world rumors is finally getting a public airing, as "Young" DeBarge has apparently confirmed that Janet Jackson has an 18-year old daughter named Renee, born of (or after) her brief 1980s marriage to James DeBarge and raised by Janet's sister Rebbie.

I first heard of this story a few years ago back when Ms. Jackson was dating Justin Timberlake, and there was a blind gossip item (in I think the NY Post) which basically asked, Which May-December romance in the music world had a real freakout when the younger guy was told that the older woman had a child that was about his age? And it would help explain the change in Janet's appearance between Control and Rhythm Nation 1814.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where '1' represents "there's just no way this is true" to a '10' of "I can totally see Janet Jackson doing this," how do you evaluate this story?

YOU'RE WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, ON ABC, SO STICK AROUND: I have had my first happy dance of the 2005-06 television season. And to my surprise, it came from Desperate Housewives. Even last year, before the backlash began, I never totally understood what all the ruckus was about. It's a fun show with a great cast, but really -- all the hoo-hah about the level of self-aware wit and cynicism never really resonated with me. It's a primetime soap. An over-the-top, sometimes laugh-out-loud-funny soap, but so's the O.C., you know? And yet the O.C. wasn't out there pitching itself as the frontrunner for best comedy.

Oh, but now it's all changed. It's so all changed for me.

Last season, my hero and giver of perhaps the gratist best-actress Emmy speech evir, Felicity Huffman, portrayed Lynette Scavo, who had left her fiercely successful advertising career to become a put-upon stay-at-home mother of four while her husband (the "hey, I'm not gay, no matter how Darren Star cast me a million years ago!" Doug Savant) brought home the bacon and knocked her up at every available provocation. This season, Lynette's husband has decided to become a stay-at-home dad and let Lynette become chief bacon purveyor. So she's back in the workforce, with an uptight boss (Joely Fisher) who views Lynette's offspring as reasons #1, 2, 3, and 4 why mothers shouldn't work outside the home. That's the background.

Tonight, Lynette became Joely's wingman. Every night for a week, Joely cajoled Lynette into coming out drinking with her and pimping for her. Why? Because Lynette was married with kids, and therefore not a threat. After five nights of this, with no end in sight, Lynette came up with a plan. She went into the bathroom, got herself all smoky, did shots with a gaggle of admiring men, and danced on the bar while Joely quietly fumed in a corner on the banquette.

But I haven't told you the important part. The soundtrack for this entire scene? My Boogie Shoes.

Please, everyone, join me for a happy dance.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE? Anyone want to discuss whether Jed Bartlett's behavior and tone in his final scene on The West Wing tonight is consistent with his character over the past six-plus seasons?

And a second question, though this covers a broader span of time: what, exactly, has Josh done right as Santos' campaign manager? Seems like he only wants to tell the Congressman to go against his instincts, and he's generally wrong about it . . .

SO SEXY, IT HURTS? Radar Magazine reports that no one wants to be People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive anymore. Why? It's cursed:

Although a few former “winners” like Johnny Depp, Harrison Ford and Denzel Washington seem to have escaped the accolade unscathed, many—like Mark Harmon, Patrick Swayze, Nick Nolte, and Pierce Brosnan—have watched their fortunes sink after taking the title.

Other recipients, like Jude Law, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Ben Affleck, have seen their love lives take a turn for the weird. Affleck, you’ll recall, was engaged to J-Lo when he landed the slot, and the chaos wrought by Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, and Daisy Wright needs no elaboration. The most spine-chilling legacy, of course, is 1988 cover boy John Kennedy Jr., who isn’t even alive anymore.

Not to mention other past cursed winners as 1908 winner Fred Merkle, 1921 winner Roscoe Arbuckle ("Fatty Is All That-y", read the headline), 1937 winner Neville "You Sexy Devil!" Chamberlain and 1987's Harry Hamlin.

Two potential threads off this, and I'm not sure which one y'all will go for -- what other cover curses do you believe in?, or who does deserve to be the Sexiest Man Alive? Is it time for Dr. Hizzy?