SO YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DANCE: So all that dithering on the momentous question of whether Jessica or Comfort would be the most worthy #5 female dancer in the nation was apparently for naught, as Jessica has suffered an injury that is taking her out of the competition. At SYTYCD's upfronts presentation this morning, a deliberately vague Nigel would only specify that Jessica's injury would take about five weeks to heal -- which clearly distinguishes her from Hairspray's fun-lovin' free-wheelin' Brenda, just in case anyone was curious. Hard-hitting newsies Seriously? OMG! WTF? report that it's a knee injury. This is all cold comfort to Comfort, as now she gets to be eliminated all over again. (But it does ensure that she makes the tour, so I guess it's warm comfort to Comfort.)

One little spoiler from Nigel: one of this week's couples is Courtney and Joshua. That could be cute.

BUT VERE IS COUNT VON COUNT? Feist teaches Sesame Street viewers how to count to 4. Sadly, Sesame Workshop is not teaching viewers her further non-traditional method of counting to 10.

From The Magazine : Radar Online : How Hollywood's A-list idols are losing their movie-selling mojo

THE BUGGLES HAVE BEEN CALLED IN FOR QUESTIONING: Radar magazine is trying to determine who killed the Hollywood star:

Since 2007, with the notable exception of Will Smith, whose upcoming tent-pole flick Hancock is enjoying some of the best prerelease buzz of any summer film, virtually every star of note has tanked at the box office, sending a collective shiver down the industry's spine. Tom Cruise, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, Reese Witherspoon, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ben Stiller, and Will Ferrell have all starred in movies that made less than $40 million domestically, far from the magic number — $100 million — that's become the standard measure of a successful release. Outside of their tried-and-true franchises, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Cameron Diaz, and Johnny Depp have fared little better, topping out, in some cases, at less than $70 million. Same thing for the presumably unbeatable duo of Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, whose widely praised political romp, Charlie Wilson's War, took in a scant $66 million.

I happen to be particularly intrigued by #5, their doppelgänger theory: "The tabloid press can do more than just dent a star's image—it can also co-opt it, creating a long-running narrative arc about an actor more compelling than any movie. Take Brad Pitt, for instance, who despite his fame has failed to connect with audiences not only in a small, dark movie like The Assassination of Jesse James, but also in a pure Hollywood spectacle like Troy. If the audience doesn't want to see Brad playing a beefy, long-haired blond Greek Adonis, what the hell do they want? As it turns out, they want to see Brad Pitt playing himself, or the version of himself that turns up in the tabloids every week."

I recognize that part of the problem is that the movies in question weren't very good, but that's the problem: it used to be that if you were a star, they didn't have to be, because the fans still came. Now ...

"THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO PRECEDENT FOR A DIRECTOR WORKING ON THIS SCALE TO CONCENTRATE SO EQUALLY AND SUCCESSFULLY ON BOTH THE NUANCES OF PERFORMANCE AND ABSOLUTE SPECTACLE:" Our friend Dan Fienberg has seen The Dark Knight, and urges that we see what he calls the year's best movie in IMAX.

NO RECOMMENDATION FOR OFF-THE-MENU ORDERING AT RED LOBSTER, HOWEVER: ALOTT5MA fave Tim Gunn sits down for ten questions with Time Magazine.

And he does not avoid the question of which contestant truly was the most irritating.

WELL, IT'S EITHER THIS OR WE COVER THE 700 MHZ WIRELESS SPECTRUM AUCTION: The Federal Communications Commission has fined Philadelphia's 610 WIP-AM $4000 (PDF) for unlawfully disqualifying a 2005 Wing Bowl 13 competitor (28 clementines in 3m 4sec) who was dropped after the station found out he headed the Association of Independent Competitive Eaters, a rival of Wing Bowl's accrediting organization.

(HT: Michael Klein.)

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, NOT HALF BAD: Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon joined the Jolie-Pitt menagerie last night.