ICARE? OK--The Apple iPad--revolutionary new computing device? The next Apple Newton (or, god forbid, Microsoft Bob)? Overly easily breakable toy? Kindle without a real keyboard? An oversized iPhone? (As yet an unanswered question--do I get a discount by adding an iPad on to my iPhone contract or an ability to use my iPhone tethered with an iPad?) Discuss.

HURLEY'S INDEX: Some statistics, courtesy of the fine folks who gathered everything Hurley said in Season 5 and (ab)use of the MS Word find and replace feature:

• Number of "dude"s--46
• Number of "awesome"s--5
• Number of "Yeah"s--11
• Number of "Cool"s--5
• Movies or TV shows expressly referenced--Back To The Future, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Happy Days
• Number of "Ewoks"--2
  
• Hurley's longest monologue:
  

  OK. You see, we did crash, but it was on this crazy island. And we waited for rescue, but there wasn’t any rescue. And then there was a smoke monster. And then there were other people on the island. We called them, the others. And they started attacking us. And we found some hatches and there was a button you had to push every 108 minutes or, well, I was never really clear on that. But, the others didn’t have anything to do with the hatches, that was the Dharma Initiative. They were all dead, the others killed them. And now they were trying to kill us. Then we teamed up with the others because some worse people were coming on a freighter. Desmond’s girlfriend’s father sent them to kill us. So we stole their helicopter and we flew it to their freighter, but it blew up. And we couldn’t go back to the island, because it disappeared. So then we crashed into the ocean, and we floated there for a while ’til a boat came and picked us up. And by then, there were 6 of us. That part was true. But the rest, but the rest of the people who were on the plane, they’re still on that island.

APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN DRINKING REGULAR AND NOT DIET ALL THESE YEARS: If there is an overused meme I love more than Hitler ranting and raving about every injustice (the latest? The Buffalo Bills' hiring of Chan Gailey. By the way, Mein Fuhrer, you're wrong, the Bears are the NFL's laughingstock), it's the Flash Mob. Here's a new one featuring original Pepper David Naughton (he of "Makin' It" fame for us senior citizens) celebrating Dr Pepper's 125th anniversary on the floor of the NYSE.

HOLDING OUT FOR A SCHRUTE FARMS ALL-ACCESS PASS: Our Friend Mo Ryan is raising money for Haiti relief by auctioning off all sorts of cool TV memorabilia. This week's batch includes Dexter, Idol, and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia swag, and next week promises such goodies as a signed set of Battlestar Galactica DVD's. It's cool stuff and for a good cause. Take a look, and if something tickles your fancy, give.

HAS IT OCCURRED TO ANY OF YOU THAT YOUR BUDDY IS ACTUALLY GOING TO CAUSE THE THING HE SAYS HE'S TRYING TO PREVENT? PERHAPS THAT LITTLE NUKE IS THE INCIDENT? SO MAYBE THE BEST THING TO DO ... IS NOTHING? [PAUSE] I'M GLAD YOU ALL THOUGHT THIS THROUGH: I have nothing profound to say about Lost -- I try to leave that to the others here. I'm just exceptionally excited after having rewatched The Incident, Parts 1 & 2 last night (now with alternately condescending and enlightening pop-ups!) and read Maureen Ryan's lengthy interview with Lindelof/Cuse, and February 2 can't come soon enough.

OOBI MESS UP. THAT'S OKAY: Okay, but seriously, is he really shilling for GEICO? Because it sure looks like him in these ads ...

IF THE RUMORS FLOATING IN YOUR HEAD TURN INTO FACTS, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF THIS: Thank you, Pete Townsend, for ruining our annual Super Bowl pool:

"We're kinda doing a mashup of stuff," the guitarist tells Billboard. "A bit of 'Baba O'Riley,' a bit of 'Pinball Wizard,' a bit of the close of 'Tommy,' a bit of 'Who Are You,' and a bit of 'Won't Get Fooled Again.' It works -- it's quite a saga. A lot of the stuff that we do has that kind of celebratory vibe about it -- we've always tried to make music that allows the audience to go a bit wild if they want to. Hopefully it will hit the spot."

Crap. Do we have to start asking more questions about ... football?