LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. ELTON JOHN? Nigel Lythgoe is apparently returning to helm American Idol, and if so may junk all the existing judges in favor of folks like Justin Timberlake, Chris Isaak, Harry Connick Jr. and, yes, the gentleman in the title of this post.

Well, it's at least a better idea than the new Bieber Rule, insofar as changing the judges may bring back more adult viewer-voters, and end the dominance of the tween power-dialers. Hmm.

SO WELL-BUILT WE CAN'T SHOW YOU THE SECOND LEVEL: Do we really not have a Mad Men thread yet? The first episodes of this show's seasons tend to be stage-setters, all prologue. This was unusual, in that it was an episode with a beginning, a middle, and a very satisfying end, with the title of this post as a through-line. And Pete's comment about hiring actresses was maybe the funniest one-liner of the entire series (especially with the delivery), making even Roger's off-color matchmaking pale in comparison.

Anyway, the thread is open.

AT LEAST THE SECOND ONE GAVE ZACH LEVI A SUMMER JOB: Based on a plethora of recent trademark applications, it appears that the next part of the Alvin and the Chipmunks saga will not merely be subtitled "3-D," but will be called "The 3dquel." I shudder for America. (I'm also still coping with the concept of Scre4m, though I will go see that one, since the first two Scream movies are excellent and some of the new cast additions--Alison Brie, Adam Brody, Mary McDonnell--are interesting.)

ADVANCE AUSTRALIA (NOT UN)FAIR: Five men have discovered the greatest loophole in Australian sport and declared themselves the representatives of Australia's previously non-existent dodgeball association. They play in the world's championship next month in Las Vegas.

GATHERING OF GRUNTS AND GREENS: Some Guy tries to list the 40 Best R.E.M. songs. No talk of circadian rhythm, wrecking all things virtuous and true, and I think Monty got a raw deal from this ranking.

IT'S META-META-META-FICTION: I know this is probably attempting to provide excessive analysis of Entourage and the level of reality/fiction on which the show plays, but did anyone notice that last week, Vince encounters Randall Wallace and states that he can't see the upcoming film Secretariat, a film in which Entourage co-star Kevin Connolly apparently has a substantial role (5th billing on the poster). So, do Kevin Connolly as actor and Eric Murphy as character co-exist, or is the Secretariat existing within Entourage one where someone other than Kevin Connolly plays that role? It almost makes you find Entourage something more than utterly disposable.

A SALT AND BATTERY: I wanted to follow up on our discussion of Angelina Jolie's presence and how it affects whether you'll see a movie with a (spoiler-free) discussion of Salt. As you can tell from the trailers and ads, crucial to Salt working at all is at least some sense of doubt as to where Salt's loyalties lie--if the actress reads too pure or too villainous, we know the answer to the movie's central question early on. Jolie is unique among female stars in that she can carry this off--can you buy uncertain loyalties of someone like a Jennifer Garner, Cameron Diaz, or Drew Barrymore? (Scarlett Johansson might be able to sell it.)

Of course, much ink has been spilled over how Jolie took over the lead in Salt when Tom Cruise turned it down, but I haven't seen anyone really talk about how Salt and Knight and Day are really mirror images of one another. Both depend, to a large extent, on our uncertainty about how we feel about the leading performers off-screen to inform our judgment of their on-screen characters. Is Roy Miller a brilliant secret agent forced to go rogue by circumstances beyond his control, or a guy who's experienced a violent break with reality? Is Salt loyal or a Russian spy? We can't answer those questions up front because of our feelings about the leads. Neither film entirely works, and the two films take dramatically different directions from that premise (one goes for a more comic direction and the other takes things all-too-seriously), but to the extent they work, they do so because of our mistrust of the leading performer, and that's a rarity indeed.