THE LADY WILL HAVE THE KNOCKWURST AND I'LL HAVE THE SAME: Alas, tonight somewhere in this great country of ours, a young lady (presumedly) is sitting in a Pizza Hut with that cute boy from her algebra class and trying to dazzle him with a conversation revolving around such pop culture minutiae as how many episodes of "One Day at a Time" aired, Cybil Sheppard's irritable bowels, and, yes, how much Santa's sack looks like an airborne scrotum.

All of us here at ALOTTFMA hope the date went well.

LIKE A B'SULEH: The Forward 50, the Jewish weekly's annual list of the who's who among American Members of the Tribe, is touched for the very first time by a goy this year. Yes, that Meshugeneh Girl Esther, otherwise known as Madonna, shows up on the paper's list (login: ALOTTFMA, pass: Madonna) alongside notables Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Philip Roth, Jon Stewart, Larry David, Natalie Portman, Shawn Green, and a bunch of other rabbis, bankers and lawyers. Actually Esther was something of a borderline pick, as the paper expanded its list to 51 in order to justify its love for the way she expresses herself with Kabbalah, making Judiasm a vogue religion in the process.

PUMP UP THE VOLUME: Eric B. & Rakim's 1987 album "Paid in Full" heads a new list from Entertainment Weekly of the Top 25 Hip-Hop Albums of All-Time. The mag's list, which features names both old and new school, is timed to coincide with the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" hitting the charts 25 years ago. And if you are hungry for some old school beats or just hungry, check this out.

SPEAKING OF SYNDICATION: The San Francisco Chronicle has this interesting article today making the very valid point that just because a show reaches 100 episodes (or even 200 episodes) doesn't actually mean it's any good. Among the examples they cite:

"CHiPS"--139 episodes of pure Erik Estrada goodness.
"Hangin' With Mr. Cooper"--101 episodes.
"Walker, Texas Ranger"--203 episodes from which the Walker Lever can select high-quality clips.
"Empty Nest"--170 episodes.
"Charles in Charge"--126 episodes of Scott Baio.
"Jake and the Fatman"--106 episodes.

Not mentioned, but worthy of snark--there are 195 episodes of "Matlock" out there. Grandpa Simpson must be very happy.

SMALL WONDER: Following in the footsteps of Fresh Prince reruns and The Dr. Phil Show, this blog is now being syndicated at http://throwingthings.blogspot.com/atom.xml.

Mind you, I have no idea what this means, just that someone asked me to enable it, so I did.

CATCHING MATT NAPPING: In a story one of my co-Bloggers should have been all over, Justin Guarini has been dropped from the cast of the upcoming Beach Boys Broadway musical Good Vibrations.

YOUR HONOR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO HAD ALL HE COULD EAT? Congratulations to Barry "Tink" Giddings of Gassetts, Vt., a "gourmand" who just ate nineteen lobsters in thirty-five minutes, earning the title of 'Lobster Maniac of the Year'.

As a reminder, Wing Bowl XIII is less than three months away. . .