THE SECOND-HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH:  Any guidance for two days with the girls at Disneyland Park and California Adventure?

PLEASE WAIT FOR THE BEEP. PLEASE?  Young people aren't leaving voicemail messages anymore, preferring to text instead. Says one 31-year-old:

“It seems more practical to text or email. The only reason you leave a voice mail is so the person can hear the sound of your voice. It almost seems presumptuous, for that reason.” 

As she suggested, there’s also the understandable matter of efficiency. A missed-call notification on a cellphone can be its own request for a call back. A “Call me” text will likely be read more quickly than a voice mail message will be heard, and if the matter is urgent, multiple missed calls may declare that most vociferously.

MOTHER, MAY I CALL A TIME OUT? Lifetime will air The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story in September, a drama taking us behind the scenes of the 90s teen sitcom with a cast of unknowns.  More, or less exciting than the Flowers In The Attic remake?

CAN'T TAKE MY KIDS' EYES ONTO YOU:  Can someone familiar with the musical explain to me why the film adaptation of Jersey Boys had to be released as rated R for "language throughout"?  Given the content, was it just unavoidable that this be released in a family-unfriendly format?

[I also love this note from Tasha Robinson's review: "The actors’ ages don’t help; the film has a bit of a Rent problem, with performers who have aged out of their roles. The scene where Bob loses his virginity to great acclaim is odd enough—the actor is 28, the character is supposed to be 18, though the film doesn’t mention that detail—but it’s even odder when Frankie’s parents scold him about his 11 p.m. curfew. John Lloyd Young is 38."]

NOT ADDRESSED TO ANY PARTICULAR READER OF THIS SITE:  As part of our nation's Lane Courtesy Month celebration, Vox explains why you shouldn't drive slowly in the left lane:

Research shows that many traffic jams result from a surprisingly small number of slow cars obstructing traffic, with their effects rippling outward. A small buildup of cars that can't pass because someone is driving slowly in the left — right next to another car traveling slowly in the right — is the exact type of scenario that can start this cascade of traffic. 

Now, some people counter that as long as they're going the speed limit, they don't have to move over — and by slowing down would-be speeders, they're making the roads safer. 

Apart from the fact that in 44 states, simply going the speed limit doesn't permit drivers to travel in the left lane, this argument doesn't make a lot of sense based on research into how accidents occur....  research has generally shown that the strongest predictor of an accident isn't speeding, but variance from the average speed of traffic — and a car going five miles per hour slower than the surrounding traffic has a greater chance of causing an accident than one going five miles per hour faster than it.

BRING BACK THE DANCING ITOS:  Remember how last year I stopped griping about the annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, since the Kennedy Center finally bestowed the lifetime award upon Carol Burnett?

This year's honoree is Jay Leno.

Among those who have not yet received this award are Mike Nichols and Elaine May, David Letterman, Norman Lear, Eddie Murphy, Woody Allen, Don Rickles, and Mel Brooks.

JUST STICK TO THE APPROVED DIALOGUE:  The opening number from Book of Mormon, animated South Park-style.