Monday, January 27, 2003

MMMMMM. (SLURP) (SLURP) (GULP): I'm not quite sure what got into Fox's editors tonight, but tonight's episode of Joe Millionaire was -- intentionally, this time -- one of the funniest things I've seen on tv in some time, and this includes Ms. I-Beg-To-Diffah! from American Idol last week.

From the aforementioned subtitles provided for Evan's heard-but-not-seen fumble in the forest with Sara to the worst beef stroganoff you'll ever see, to a contestant who couldn't distinguish the word "mercenary" from "merciful" in describing her desire to bathe Africa's poor should she be married to a multi-millionaire, this episode really was chock full of unintentional hilarity brought to light by the producers.

Still, two episodes stand out from the rest. First, on a horseback riding date with Evan, Zora mentioned how much she loved animals and nature, that the whole day "was like a Disney movie." Cue a two minute montage of our furry forest friends, from cuddly deer to raccoons to fuzzy rabbits, all set to happy, chipper music. Oh, it was classic.

But then . . . .but then. So, contestant Melissa Jo ("MoJo") decided to give Evan a gift she prepared before leaving for the show -- a jigsaw puzzle of . . . . herself . . . . with the words I CHOOSE YOU on it. And so, a Simpsons-educated nation watched, turned to each other, and said, in our best Ralph Wiggum voice, "You choo-choo . . . choose me?"

But it was not to be, as Evan lost his MoJo, as it were. We're down to three, and no one really care who wins -- we just want a good reaction shot at the end.

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