A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

IF YOU SPELL MY NAME WRONG, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT: The best article I've read all week? The NYT's Howard Kaplan introduces us to a reluctant Ira Glustein, a shatnes tester in his late fifties who has never, ever (well, almost) eaten in a restaurant in his life.

But why?

"It was never discussed in the family," [Glustein] said. "No one spoke about it. But it was an obvious thing not to do. I guess the reason is -- and I feel this way very strongly myself: Let's say you walked in one end and you had to eat on the other end and there were people at every single table and you walked until you got to your spot.

"What do you do along the way? Are you only going to look at the floor, the ceiling, the wall, or people's faces? Obviously you would peer into other people's plates. Just a quick glance. But if someone sets his eyes on my plate, I can't eat it anymore. Therefore I'm going to stay out of public eating."

Hey, that's just one more table at Shopsin's for the rest of us.