DISASTER RELIEF: As the bitterly sarcastic one, I was kind of waiting for somebody else to pass the hat, but whatever. It has never been easier to give a little of that Chanukkah gelt (or Christmas money, or Kwanzaa forints) to relief efforts. Amazon, for example, has a simple one-click donation process. Over 89,000 people have already donated over $5.5 million -- over $61 apiece -- to the Red Cross through Amazon alone. As all good hipsters intuit, 89,000 is a large enough number to give some credibility but still small enough that it's not uncool. All I'm saying is that for maximum cred you should catch this donation thing at the Outlandos d'Amour stage, before your parents make you take your little brother to the Synchronicity tour and way before your mother-in-law asks for "Brand New Day" for her birthday.
I now return you to your regularly-scheduled traffic jam, courtesy of the President of Synagogue. Anyone? Is this on?
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