A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT: Today was "Snack Day" at the office--an event almost as hallowed as Pretzel Day, but more frequent (about once a month). Today's featured attraction was frozen treats, and I opted for a FrozFruit bar. I head back to my office and begin to unwrap, preparing to take a bite. I chomp down and quickly realize that somehow, although the bar was sitting in a foam cooler, it was still cold enough that I was experiencing a "tongue on cold lamppost" moment. Trying to type while one has a popsicle stuck to one's tongue and lips, waiting for it to melt is perhaps not the most efficient way of dealing with things.