THE FORMER MISS ONTARIO RETIRES WITH HER FIRST CIGARETTE AFTER YEARS: I've waited a while, but I guess I can't wait any longer to comment on the train wreck over at the Miss USA pageant (motto: "Guaranteed Tawdrier than Miss America"). Miss California Carrie "Helen" Prejean, of course, sailed not particularly successfully between the Scylla and Charybdis of modern controversy when she took a very public anti-gay-marriage and pro-waist-up-nudity stance. This isn't the place to debate those positions (though in full disclosure, I vehemently disagree with one and wholeheartedly agree with the other).
Still, it's amusing that the people who got to decide whether Prejean violated the pageant's morality clause or failed to represent it with appropriate dignity are or have been: (a) Shanna Moakler, who was arrested for drunk-punching Paris Hilton and whose past relationships included Billy Idol, Travis Barker, and lingerie-wearing Oscar de la Hoya; and (b) Donald Trump, himself not a person to whom the phrase "paragon of virtue" is commonly applied (Trump, incidentally, seems to have indicated that he agrees with both of Prejean's positions). Also, Miss California runner-up (and reigning Miss Malibu) Tami Farrell has been elevated to 1a status because Prejean has been "unavailable." Isn't "availability" pretty much the only requirement for a reigning pageant queen?
ETA: Prompted by Adlai's comment, I should mention that the Urban Dictionary entry for opposite marriage is very, very funny.
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