A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

WORLD-EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW -- MUST CREDIT ALOTT5MA: It was understandable that as long as America was still voting, he wasn't going to speak to the media and tell the whole truth about his life. Today, I'm proud to present this interview with my friend Adam Lambert, with whom I traded emails today:

First off all, kindly introduce yourself to our readers.

My name is Adam Lambert. I'm a loudmouth liberal blogger sports nut tax consultant living in Northern New Jersey.

How has this competition changed your life?

Well, I’ve had a lot of old friends who I haven’t spoken to in years get back in touch with me, if even to bust on me. I also rediscovered my love for classic rock. And while I haven’t tried this yet, I assume that I won’t have any problems getting reservations in good NYC restaurants.

Do you want to respond to all the rumors about your personal life?

I swear – I didn’t do it. It was like that when I got there. I didn’t have anything to do with “that incident” – I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But that is all behind me now.

What happens to your dreams after last night's disappointing results?

Well, I know it isn’t the end of the road. I mean, the Cavs are only down 1-0 after that last minute shot by Rashard Lewis, so they can easily come back and win that series, especially with LeBron. For a Knick fan, it’s been one night of disappointing results after another this year.

Tell me what you really think about your competitors.

Well, being that I have worked at KPMG, Deloitte as well as Ernst & Young, all of them have some strengths and weaknesses. I don’t know much about PriceWaterhouseCoopers, but my wife didn’t really like the people there. KPMG was a pretty oppressive place when I was there around 15 years ago, and Deloitte was just a mess.

What will you remember most about this journey?

I’ll remember that no matter how long it’s been since I’ve spoken to someone, they can still pop up out of nowhere to give me shit. And that so many people that have no connection to each other all use the same joke over and over again. Oh yeah, and that some people are so gullible that they actually thought I was going back and forth between Hollywood and New York.

With whom would you like to work in the future?

Probably a high level political figure whose campaign I can work on and help (re)elect.

Finally, any fashion or style tips for our male readers?

I’ll have to ask the missus on that one – she is my fashion consultant and would be horrified if she knew that I was offering any fashion tips to anyone, anywhere, anytime.