Tuesday, July 7, 2009
TIM MCCLELLAND, COME ON DOWN! A ridiculously hard quiz on the baseball rule book, on which I only got 3/10 correct. (HT: Baseball Primer.)
NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE -- EXCEPT TODAY, OF COURSE, WHEN EVERY NETWORK IN AMERICA IS SUSPENDING NORMAL COVERAGE TO DO SO: If you're watching the memorial service for Michael Jackson, feel free to let the rest of us know if anything remarkable (literally: "worthy of being remarked upon") happens.
e.t.a. My favorite coverage -- the Sasha Frere-Jones et al liveblog for The New Yorker.
e.t.a. My favorite coverage -- the Sasha Frere-Jones et al liveblog for The New Yorker.
PRESENT IN THE CREDITS, YET HAD NO STORYLINE AT ALL: Moderately frequent commenter Adlai and I both lost touch with Degrassi: The Next Generation a few years ago, and we both got sucked into the marathon this weekend. In a superficial way, the show has gone in a new direction (hiring a few actually attractive actors, though it also still employs many that would be illegally homely on US television). Thankfully, the storylines still seem to have been outlined by an insane person. Anyway, this led both Adlai and I to the most gloriously batshit-insane corner of all Wikidom, the Degrassi character summary page. Near-illiterate Canadian tweens distilling the essence of characters on an incomprehensible show? Sign me up. Witness the delicate beauty of these quotes:
- "[T]hey eventually form a relationship after having sex. She gets spit on and attacked by Connor who has a mental disability."
- "Finds a friend in Mia, but after discovering she was being forced to do sexual acts the two ended their friendship. ... [S]he becomes a pathological liar, just to fit in with Danny and his friends."
- "Clare is at Degrassi for one reason and one reason only: to learn. However, things change when she meets K.C. and gets caught with a vibrator during class."
- "In season 8, an artsy guy named Blue finds an interest in her, but when she falls for him just to lose her virginity, she gets rejected. Her family then becomes bankrupt."
- "She breaks up with Spinner when she finds out that Spinner did not tell her that he did not get accepted in police college."
600 CHANNELS, AND MAYBE NOW SOMETHING ON: At least for those of us not terribly interested in determining who thinks they can dance, this summer has been low-quality on the TV front, aside from ABC's Saturday Summer Burn-Off (ah, Eli Stone, how I missed thee!) and USA's Thursdays (Royal Pains! It's like Burn Notice, except with a doctor in the Hamptons!). Tonight, though, three premieres of potential interest:
- Warehouse 13, the new SyFy flagship to go along with the new name, which I'd watch just because it's co-created by Jane Espenson, who, in addition to having writen for every Whedon show, has also written for BSG, Gilmore Girls, and even an episode of The O.C. I'll give the woman who created the epithet "Cap'n Tightpants" a shot, especially since Our Friend Alan calls the show "very promising."
- Great American Road Trip, a BBC production that NBC will air, which looks like a TAR: Family Edition knockoff, coupled with a kitschy Americana travelogue. Yes, that might well have been the worst season of TAR, but bad TAR is better than reruns, right?
- 10 Things I Hate About You, a new ABC Family series based on the superior teen film. Admittedly, only one member of the original film cast (Larry Miller) is returning for the series, with the others having either aged out of their parts (all the teen characters) or gotten too famous to reprise them (Allison Janney). Still, the original movie was among the best of that period of the teen comedies, so they're working from something.
Monday, July 6, 2009
OF COURSE, THEY'LL PROBABLY SAVE HIM FOR THE 10TH THROUGH 16TH INNINGS: That thing I like to say about how the MLB All-Star Game ought to have one slot per team to be filled by a player "who ought to be honored by Baseball Nation as a whole in this marquee event during the twilight of his career"? Yeah, Tim Wakefield qualifies.
Now go ahead and kvetch about who got snubbed.
Now go ahead and kvetch about who got snubbed.
BRING BACK HANK AND OLGA: Via occasional commenter Chuck, this report from a cable channel that Comcast Digital Cable doesn't carry in Philadelphia:
During a rain delay, started flipping. The Game Show Network was showing its new Newlywed Game, hosted by Carnie Wilson. I thought it was great.
1. Carnie may not be as funny as Bob Eubanks, but she comes across as friendly and does her job -- she gets the contestants to explain their answers.2. They did not really tinker with a good formula -- most of the show is exactly like the old one, no super special effects or quirks. There were some very funny moments. One question, to the ladies, was "would you rather live in a one bedroom house with only one child or a 12 bedroom house with 12 children." One of women actually picked the 12. So the men come out. One guy says, "definitely one" and when asked to explain why he says, "we've talked about this a lot, she wants two, at most." And he was right. The next guy says "definitely one." Why? "There is just zero chance, zero, that she would want 12 kids." He was wrong. another good one: question: if your husband had a top to bottom mental and physical exam, would he most likely be referred to Dr. Phil, Dr. Atkins, or Dr. Ruth. One woman: " Dr. Phil, 'cause there's a lot going on up there. " His answer, "Dr. Phil. [Why?] She says I've got a lot going on." One woman said Dr. Ruth, to her husband's great dismay, although she did explicitly say "not for problems, just for tips."
3. They did add one very nice new element . The "lightning round" part of the show, so to speak, or "end game" or what have you, pits the couple that just won against a "Goldy-wed" couple -- a couple that appeared on the original Newlywed Game in the 70s. It's brilliant. And of course, they show footage of the couple on the show 30 years ago, and then you see them now. They ask 15 questions to both couples in semi-lightning fashion -- the women apparently answered the questions off camera and have their placards ready; they then ask the guys the questions , on camera, at a quick but still leisurely pace, and the couple that gets more right gets the "big" prize (last night a tv that I would value at $1,000 -- maybe). Well last night, those 30 years did the Goldy-weds almost no good. They got NONE right in the lightning round. Neither did the Newlyweds either -- including one hilarious flop: question: if you could live anywhere in the world, where you would live? Husband's guess: "Greece." Her answer: "Long Island." Just, the idea that someone who could live anywhere would say "Long Island" was hilarious (especially without saying "The Hamptons" or something like that). The tiebreaker was sort of lame. The women were asked, ahead of time, to guess how many of the 15 lightning round questions they'd get right, and the couple that was closer to their actual score won. The goldy-weds guessed 9, the newlyweds 10, so the goldy-weds got their tv.
4. In the world of Tivo/DVR, you can sort of play along at home with your spouse. You can pause, have one of you write down the answer, and then the other guesses. You make up the lost time during the ads.
MONGO COME TOO EARLY FOR P-TOWN BEAR WEEK. MONGO MAD: Your latest from the Cape Cod Times:
An Orleans man is due to court today to face charges he punched a police horse Saturday night.... Christopher McEnaney, 18, was arrested and charged with assault on a police horse and resisting arrest after he allegedly punched a horse from the Plymouth County Sheriff's Office, one of the mounted patrol horses ridden during town's July 4 festivities, Provincetown police Sgt. Carrie Lopes said.He saw the operation you tried to pull today/But your humiliation means he still votes “neigh”...
McEnaney is accused of punching the horse, Fred, in the animal's flank at about 10:20 p.m. while the mounted patrol officers were in the area of Ryder Street and Commercial Street, Lopes said.
The horse was not hurt.
THE ROOM THE PANEL IS SLATED TO BE HELD IN APPEARS MUCH SMALLER FROM THE OUTSIDE: There are many dorky panels at Comic-Con. The dorkiest, however, seems likely to be the one which will allegedly announce a Doctor Who movie (featuring David Tennant). I know Our Friend Alan Sepinwall is attending (as moderator of a Chuck panel, which will also feature Levi, Strahovski, and Schwartz)--any other ThingThrowers going?
WHERE HAVE ALL MY FRIENDS GONE? THEY'VE ALL DISAPPEARED COME BACK: Between the Jayhawks reuniting, not one but two pieces in this weekend's NYT about Jeff Tweedy/Wilco and a new Son Volt album this week, I couldn't help but wonder: is it 1995 all over again?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
F15: This year will assuredly mark the third time in the last four years that I will complain about Roger Federer's not winning SI's Sportsman of the Year (2008 was Phelps' year, granted). In describing his greatness, I defer to the late David Foster Wallace, from a 2006 essay for the NYT:
Roger Federer is one of those rare, preternatural athletes who appear to be exempt, at least in part, from certain physical laws. Good analogues here include Michael Jordan, who could not only jump inhumanly high but actually hang there a beat or two longer than gravity allows, and Muhammad Ali, who really could “float” across the canvas and land two or three jabs in the clock-time required for one. There are probably a half-dozen other examples since 1960. And Federer is of this type — a type that one could call genius, or mutant, or avatar. He is never hurried or off-balance. The approaching ball hangs, for him, a split-second longer than it ought to. His movements are lithe rather than athletic. Like Ali, Jordan, Maradona, and Gretzky, he seems both less and more substantial than the men he faces. Particularly in the all-white that Wimbledon enjoys getting away with still requiring, he looks like what he may well (I think) be: a creature whose body is both flesh and, somehow, light.
LOL REVOLUTIONCATS:
From: jadams@mass.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 2:38 p.m.
To: benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
And so I was like George, chill out, just have some tea and stop the drama for a minute and he goes "TEA, great idea, comes from somewhere, goes somewhere else, I tax it everywhere, gonna put some CHROME on my CARRIAGE." So I said, George, do you really mean that? And he goes, "got a problem with it? Let's have a drink and talk about it IN LONDON see you in seven months hope you don't get scurvy on the boat over ha ha." I mean what could I do, he just doesn't get it
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 2:47 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
that dude crazy ;)
--------------------
From: tomjeff@monticello.com
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:21 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col; george@empire.gov
Subject: FW: RE: George
LOL I swear if he sends out one more swarm of Officers to eat out our substance I'm going to oppose with manly firmness his crotch with my foot. Got my back, G-Dub?
--------------------
From: rsherman@conn.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:22 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; tomjeff@monticello.com
Subject: RE: George
DUDE G-DUB IS WASHINGTON@MTV.COM
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:22 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
SHIT SHIT SHIT
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:00 p.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Gentlement or shld I even call U gentlement. U may not like evrything ido but at least I don't talk behind ur back. If U have something to say to me U shld at least be man enuf to say it to my face
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:01 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
SHIT SHIT SHIT
--------------------
From: jadams@mass.col;
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:49 p.m.
To: livingstonipresume@ny.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Dude. He sounds like he's on The Bachelorette except stupider.
SENT FROM MY iPHONE
--------------------
From: benf@penn.col;
Sent: July 3, 1776, 8:32 p.m.
To: george@empire.gov
cc: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
George, please calm down. Obviously this wasn't the best way for this to come up. I'm sure Tom's language was stronger than he intended.
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:22 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
NO FUDGE THAT I AM THE KING BEN DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU SAY I AM NOT THE KING OF YOU YOUR WRONG. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE WAY I RUN AMERICA THEN GO BACK TO FRANCE YOU FRENCHMONGER
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:28 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
ALSO I WANT ALL OF MY SPICES BACK
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:29 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
AND MY INDENTURED IRISHMEN
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:29 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT CASHING IN ANY NOTES WRITTEN ON THE CROWN'S FISC
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: jadams@mass.col;
Sent: July 4, 1776, 8:15 a.m.
To: livingstonipresume@ny.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Jeebus. Some truths are more self-evident to some than to others.
SENT FROM MY iPHONE
--------------------
From: tomjeff@monticello.com
Sent: July 4, 1776, 9:17 a.m.
To: george@empire.gov
cc: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: FW: RE: George
George, enough. When in the course of human events
[2K MORE BYTES REMAINING. TO DOWNLOAD THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE CLICK HERE]
From: jadams@mass.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 2:38 p.m.
To: benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
And so I was like George, chill out, just have some tea and stop the drama for a minute and he goes "TEA, great idea, comes from somewhere, goes somewhere else, I tax it everywhere, gonna put some CHROME on my CARRIAGE." So I said, George, do you really mean that? And he goes, "got a problem with it? Let's have a drink and talk about it IN LONDON see you in seven months hope you don't get scurvy on the boat over ha ha." I mean what could I do, he just doesn't get it
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 2:47 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
that dude crazy ;)
--------------------
From: tomjeff@monticello.com
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:21 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col; george@empire.gov
Subject: FW: RE: George
LOL I swear if he sends out one more swarm of Officers to eat out our substance I'm going to oppose with manly firmness his crotch with my foot. Got my back, G-Dub?
--------------------
From: rsherman@conn.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:22 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; tomjeff@monticello.com
Subject: RE: George
DUDE G-DUB IS WASHINGTON@MTV.COM
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 3:22 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: George
SHIT SHIT SHIT
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:00 p.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Gentlement or shld I even call U gentlement. U may not like evrything ido but at least I don't talk behind ur back. If U have something to say to me U shld at least be man enuf to say it to my face
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: livingstonipresume@ny.col
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:01 p.m.
To: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
SHIT SHIT SHIT
--------------------
From: jadams@mass.col;
Sent: July 3, 1776, 5:49 p.m.
To: livingstonipresume@ny.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Dude. He sounds like he's on The Bachelorette except stupider.
SENT FROM MY iPHONE
--------------------
From: benf@penn.col;
Sent: July 3, 1776, 8:32 p.m.
To: george@empire.gov
cc: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
George, please calm down. Obviously this wasn't the best way for this to come up. I'm sure Tom's language was stronger than he intended.
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:22 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
NO FUDGE THAT I AM THE KING BEN DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU SAY I AM NOT THE KING OF YOU YOUR WRONG. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE WAY I RUN AMERICA THEN GO BACK TO FRANCE YOU FRENCHMONGER
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:28 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
ALSO I WANT ALL OF MY SPICES BACK
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:29 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
AND MY INDENTURED IRISHMEN
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: george@empire.gov
Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:29 a.m.
To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT CASHING IN ANY NOTES WRITTEN ON THE CROWN'S FISC
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
"It's Good to Be the King" – Mel Brooks
--------------------
From: jadams@mass.col;
Sent: July 4, 1776, 8:15 a.m.
To: livingstonipresume@ny.col; benf@penn.col; tomjeff@monticello.com; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: RE: FW: RE: George
Jeebus. Some truths are more self-evident to some than to others.
SENT FROM MY iPHONE
--------------------
From: tomjeff@monticello.com
Sent: July 4, 1776, 9:17 a.m.
To: george@empire.gov
cc: jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col
Subject: FW: RE: George
George, enough. When in the course of human events
[2K MORE BYTES REMAINING. TO DOWNLOAD THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE CLICK HERE]
Saturday, July 4, 2009
STEVE McNAIR, 1973-2009: Steve McNair didn't win a Superbowl, but he almost did, riding the Music City Miracle into the Superbowl against the Rams, where Kevin Dyson caught McNair's last-minute pass but fell just short of the end zone. Though famed for his toughness -- McNair frequently played through debilitating pain -- he also suffered an uncommon number of injuries that even he couldn't play through, and that left him playing at less than his peak when he wasn't on crutches. When perfectly healthy, though, he could dominate games, both with his passing (to a cast of mostly unheralded receivers, some of whom McNair turned into second-tier stars) and with a running style that was more brute force than fleet. McNair also devoted considerable time and energy to charity (even after his career ended), in the manner of a person who did it because he wanted to, rather than because it was expected of him. I don't know what went wrong that ended up with someone shooting McNair to death, but I regret more than a bit that a guy who worked as hard as he did in the NFL didn't really get a chance to enjoy his retirement.
GOT! TO! HAVE! A! CEL! A! BRA! TION! Happy Independence Day, everyone. I'm not going to try to top Isaac's rewrite of the Declaration from last year, nor do I have time -- there are sauces which need preparing for the mussels which Jen and Lucy are currently harvesting down Route Six (sausage/fennel/cream and fra diavolo, if you were wondering), and a large piece of meat in imminent need of grilling.
Today we think of all that makes America great -- baseball, Ray Charles, the First Amendment and the ice cream sundae (among many other things), but first among them are our dedicated soldiers who remain in harm's way. A good friend of many of us here, Major Evan Wollen, is in Iraq right now and for once hoping not to see any fireworks today. We honor his service today and every day, and look forward to his speedy and safe return.
Open thread.
Today we think of all that makes America great -- baseball, Ray Charles, the First Amendment and the ice cream sundae (among many other things), but first among them are our dedicated soldiers who remain in harm's way. A good friend of many of us here, Major Evan Wollen, is in Iraq right now and for once hoping not to see any fireworks today. We honor his service today and every day, and look forward to his speedy and safe return.
Open thread.
Friday, July 3, 2009
GENESIS 4:9: The changes made in the film adaptation of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper are noteworthy, if just for large they are. Picoult's ending has been abandoned altogether, and replaced with something considerably more straightforward. In addition, the guardian character has been eliminated entirely, along with Campbell's romantic subplot, replaced by a judge with her own complicated backstory. Other subplots get truncated as well (in particular, the brother's subplot is almost eliminated), and a new subplot added involving a romance between Kate and another cancer patient, which, while genunely affecting, adds a troubling "romantic" overtone to a key choice Kate makes in the film.
The major changes are so noticeable because at the start, the film is slavishly faithful to the book's structure of rotating narrators, with every character getting a voiceover segment to explain how they see it, and big chunks of prose seemingly being recited verbatim. It's not very cinematic to do so, and the performers give it a good effort, but are unable to overcome that obstacle.
The major changes are so noticeable because at the start, the film is slavishly faithful to the book's structure of rotating narrators, with every character getting a voiceover segment to explain how they see it, and big chunks of prose seemingly being recited verbatim. It's not very cinematic to do so, and the performers give it a good effort, but are unable to overcome that obstacle.
I'VE GOT FEET/FEET CAN DANCE/DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME DANCE/YOU DO? Not much to say about the SYTYCD results except (a) how random; (b) Kayla's group dance costume was the most comprehensive amount of fake nude I've ever seen on non-comedy network television; and (c) no matter how many shows ask me to listen to Kelly Clarkson, I still can't find anything interesting to latch onto there. Oh, and (d) take some time off, Tyce Diorio.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
IN WHICH THE OCEAN'S NAME IS A BITTER IRONY: I learned something while catching up on Sepinwall's loving and compulsively enjoyable archival recaps of Band of Brothers, among my favorite seasons of television ever. Actually I learned a lot, but the one thing I wanted to share with you is that HBO has released a trailer for the long-in-coming follow-up to Band of Brothers, Hanks & Spielberg's The Pacific. Obviously there's already a lot of great recent material covering some of this ground already, from Clint Eastwood's Flags of our Fathers/Letters from Iwo Jima diptych to Tsuyoshi Hasegawa's Racing the Enemy, but it's not as if Band of Brothers lacked for prior art, and look how that turned out. I'm pretty insanely excited for this.
UH UH, NO, NO WAY, NOPE, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN: I don't know how much you'd have to pay me to get me to walk out into the glass box newly affixed to the outside of the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower, but I'm confident you don't have it on you right now.
YOU CAN STAND UNDER MY PARASOL: We're almost halfway through the summer, and, as far as I can tell, we haven't had a big summer song yet--recent years have been scattered:
2005--"We Belong Together" (#1 for all but one week of June-August), "Hollaback Girl" (#1 for all of May)
2006--"Promiscuous" (#1 for 6 weeks)
2007--"Umbrella" (#1 for 7 weeks)
2008--"I Kissed A Girl" (#1 for 7 weeks)
Apparently, "Boom Boom Pow" had held #1 for 12 weeks until getting knocked off by "I Gotta Feeling" this week, but neither of those are doing it for me. The rest of the Top 50 doesn't do much for me either. So whatcha got? Are you going with Jay-Z? The almost unhealthily catchy Cobra Starship/Leighton Meester pairing? Sadly, the iTunes charts are all akimbo due to Jackson-related dominance, so help me ThingThrowers, you're my only hope.
2005--"We Belong Together" (#1 for all but one week of June-August), "Hollaback Girl" (#1 for all of May)
2006--"Promiscuous" (#1 for 6 weeks)
2007--"Umbrella" (#1 for 7 weeks)
2008--"I Kissed A Girl" (#1 for 7 weeks)
Apparently, "Boom Boom Pow" had held #1 for 12 weeks until getting knocked off by "I Gotta Feeling" this week, but neither of those are doing it for me. The rest of the Top 50 doesn't do much for me either. So whatcha got? Are you going with Jay-Z? The almost unhealthily catchy Cobra Starship/Leighton Meester pairing? Sadly, the iTunes charts are all akimbo due to Jackson-related dominance, so help me ThingThrowers, you're my only hope.
ALL HOST CHAT WILL BE THE NAMES OF BLACK SITCOMS FROM THE 70S and 80S: It's not yet official, but reports are that CBS has learned its lesson well from last year's Emmy disaster, and are in negotiations with someone with substantial, recent, awards show hosting experience who will make you all very happy. Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman had better also be hired, and not just for a song at the end of the show, OK?
ROMEO AND JULIET IS REDUNDANT WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THE STAR-CROSSED LOVE BETWEEN AN ALIEN AND THE LAST MAN ON EARTH: I think I'm still on SYTYCD duty with KCos out of commission, returning this week. If I'm wrong, expect this recap to disappear shortly, like the dowdy dress Karla was wearing.
Very strong night tonight, and a night when the bottom three, whoever they turn out to be, probably would have been in the middle or upper tier the last two weeks. Since I can't really separate them into three tiers, I'll do the highlights: Kayla's control over her legs, as usual, but also her tight synchronization with a revitalized Kupono. Sonya Tayeh, marrying her usual eccentricities with some surprisingly conventional, and beautiful, lines. Melissa doing her thing. Caitlin's game energy in a routine that was really weird even for this show. Ade's two-second intro thing, and maybe also his pas de deux even though he was outclassed by his partner, but especially the lift he did where Melissa looked like she was skateboarding (Juliet was the right age for shredding, right?). The teenager behind Jean-Marc with the giant fur hat. The magic with Karla's dress. Cat's dress in HD, which turned my whole TV room pink during closeups. God, I love HD.
If I had to pick my own bottom three, I think it would be Phillip and Jeanine's chain dance (because I never like Napoleon and Tabitha -- too cheeseball for hip hop), Brandon and Janette's cha cha cha (I think I just don't get the fast ballroom stuff at all) and Evan and Randi's Broadway routine (because it was so low-energy for a pair that depends upon high energy). I think, though, that Karla/Vitolio and Caitlin/Jason are far more likely to end up in the bottom three than the first two pairs I picked. Actually, I would be okay with my prediction last week that Karla and Vitolio would go home. I'll regret that Karla never got to strut her stuff with a good partner, but Vitolio is so weird that he makes me uncomfortable.
Very strong night tonight, and a night when the bottom three, whoever they turn out to be, probably would have been in the middle or upper tier the last two weeks. Since I can't really separate them into three tiers, I'll do the highlights: Kayla's control over her legs, as usual, but also her tight synchronization with a revitalized Kupono. Sonya Tayeh, marrying her usual eccentricities with some surprisingly conventional, and beautiful, lines. Melissa doing her thing. Caitlin's game energy in a routine that was really weird even for this show. Ade's two-second intro thing, and maybe also his pas de deux even though he was outclassed by his partner, but especially the lift he did where Melissa looked like she was skateboarding (Juliet was the right age for shredding, right?). The teenager behind Jean-Marc with the giant fur hat. The magic with Karla's dress. Cat's dress in HD, which turned my whole TV room pink during closeups. God, I love HD.
If I had to pick my own bottom three, I think it would be Phillip and Jeanine's chain dance (because I never like Napoleon and Tabitha -- too cheeseball for hip hop), Brandon and Janette's cha cha cha (I think I just don't get the fast ballroom stuff at all) and Evan and Randi's Broadway routine (because it was so low-energy for a pair that depends upon high energy). I think, though, that Karla/Vitolio and Caitlin/Jason are far more likely to end up in the bottom three than the first two pairs I picked. Actually, I would be okay with my prediction last week that Karla and Vitolio would go home. I'll regret that Karla never got to strut her stuff with a good partner, but Vitolio is so weird that he makes me uncomfortable.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
BOTH ARE FANCIFUL EXPLORATIONS OF THINGS THAT ARE PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE: In researching a Tyler Perry argument for the AMPAS thread below, I hit on something that I think deserved an ALOTT5MA Viewer Alert: when you set your Netflix queue a few months from now, be sure that you sign up for 2009's Up, not 1976's Up!.
DON'T LEAVE THIS MORTAL WORLD WITHOUT IT; OR DUSK FALLS OVER THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO; OR BANG THE GONG ONE LAST TIME, BRETT: Two shocking bits of news for you. First, as of yesterday, Karl Malden was not dead. Second, as of today, Karl Malden is dead. Premorse! (tm The Pathetic Earthling.) To my generation at least, he was known as (a) the famous butt of "Karl Malden's nose" jokes by comedians of a prior generation; (b) the namesake of the Veal Karl Malden (veal in white wine sauce with capers) at legendary Hollywood eatery Dan Tana's; (c) the don't leave home without it guy; and (d) the bioentity from which was made the five clones of Karl Malden who convene annually in the Hollywood Star Chamber to choose the winners of the Oscars.
I'VE GOT CHILLS, THEY'RE MULTIPLYIN', AND I'M LOSIN' MY WIIMOTE: Grease: The Video Game for Wii. Coming soon. Sadly, Kim, the linked article notes that songs from Grease 2 will not be included.
MAJOR LEAGUE 4: Following up on our prior report about the canning of Moneyball: The Movie, the LAT has a story discussing exactly what changes made by director Steven Soderbergh to the script made the green light turn red, the biggest being the wholesale deletion of a major character, whose portrayal in the script was pretty awesome. Interestingly, while the project is in turnaround, they are considering alternate directors, who are subject to Pitt's approval, in an effort to salvage their investment.
I'D LIKE TO THANK THESE PEOPLE: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has invited 134 new members to join its ranks. Among notables who have been invited on the acting side are Anne Hathaway, Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, and Hugh Jackman. Directors include the overdue Danny Boyle and Henry Selick, and a pair of "Huh?" inducers--David Frankel (Devil Wears Prada and Marley and Me are his only film credits) and Tyler Perry.
HOCKEY HULLABALOO: Happy Canada Day, everyone. Feel free to name something you like about Our Neighbours to the North. I'll start the list with your ginger ale and the slowly-creeping-southwards Tim Hortons donut chain. [Their bacon? Not so much a fan.]
GUTTENBERG! SCHROEDER! UNDERWOOD! If "We Are The World" represents the Who's Who of the musical universe circa 1985 (plus Dan Aykroyd, minus Prince and Madonna), then Michael Jackson's video for "Liberian Girl" truly represents the Wait? Who Was That Again? of the early 1990s. I don't know that I had ever seen it until VH1-Classic started airing it this weekend, and, wow, weird.
... Relax, folks. It's almost all out of my system. All that's left is a half-formed post parallelling Michael Jackson with Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa damning them all for turning what should be cherished memories into something complicated and uncomfortable. I was listening yesterday to a Belle and Sebastian live cover of "Billie Jean" and there's this wonderful moment when the whole crowd goes "HEEEE!" in the middle of the chorus just like Jackson did, and given how big Jackson was to so many of us in our youth we should be able to just delight in these shared memories, like when we watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off and see the parade viewers do the "Thriller" dance or laugh at Wesley Snipes' faux-badassness and the Martin Scorsese "Wanted For Sacrilege" poster in the "Bad" video. I wish I could just sit back and appreciate unconditionally what Jackson gave us the way that so many of the presenters at the BET Awards seemed to, the way that SI's Gary Smith got to enjoy McGwire, Sosa and Griffey on consecutive days in the summer of 1998, before we all started learning the truth. I wish I didn't remember punchlines like "boy's underwear -- half off" and "a row of Big Wheels in his driveway" so easily. I wish I could enjoy younger Michael performing with his brothers and older Michael performing with N'Sync without wondering if he was ever happy inside, even when he was performing. I wish Joseph and Katherine Jackson had allowed Michael to have the childhood he deserved so that he could some day grow up and be a well-functioning adult, and I wish that cause-and-effect were simple enough that we could just blame Michael's parents and not Michael himself for the man he became.
It's ironic, isn't it? What I'm wishing for, basically, is to have the naivete of a twelve year old again when it comes to Michael Jackson -- but grownups don't get to go back to Neverland. Life doesn't work that way.
[Okay. Done.]
... Relax, folks. It's almost all out of my system. All that's left is a half-formed post parallelling Michael Jackson with Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa damning them all for turning what should be cherished memories into something complicated and uncomfortable. I was listening yesterday to a Belle and Sebastian live cover of "Billie Jean" and there's this wonderful moment when the whole crowd goes "HEEEE!" in the middle of the chorus just like Jackson did, and given how big Jackson was to so many of us in our youth we should be able to just delight in these shared memories, like when we watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off and see the parade viewers do the "Thriller" dance or laugh at Wesley Snipes' faux-badassness and the Martin Scorsese "Wanted For Sacrilege" poster in the "Bad" video. I wish I could just sit back and appreciate unconditionally what Jackson gave us the way that so many of the presenters at the BET Awards seemed to, the way that SI's Gary Smith got to enjoy McGwire, Sosa and Griffey on consecutive days in the summer of 1998, before we all started learning the truth. I wish I didn't remember punchlines like "boy's underwear -- half off" and "a row of Big Wheels in his driveway" so easily. I wish I could enjoy younger Michael performing with his brothers and older Michael performing with N'Sync without wondering if he was ever happy inside, even when he was performing. I wish Joseph and Katherine Jackson had allowed Michael to have the childhood he deserved so that he could some day grow up and be a well-functioning adult, and I wish that cause-and-effect were simple enough that we could just blame Michael's parents and not Michael himself for the man he became.
It's ironic, isn't it? What I'm wishing for, basically, is to have the naivete of a twelve year old again when it comes to Michael Jackson -- but grownups don't get to go back to Neverland. Life doesn't work that way.
[Okay. Done.]
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