Monday, July 5, 2010

THE SEXLARATION OF INDEEPOUNDANCE: A day late and a pound short, a comprehensive list of double entendres and sexual innuendo in Thomas Jefferson's most famous work:
  • human Events
  • dissolve the Political Bands
  • endowed by their Creator
  • pursuit of Happiness
  • laying its Foundation
  • such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their ... Happiness
  • long Train of Abuses and Usurpations
  • pressing Importance
  • called together ... Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant
  • fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures
  • opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions
  • returned to the People at large for their exercise
  • Convulsions within
  • encourage their Migrations hither
  • raising the Conditions
  • erected a Multitude of new Offices
  • eat out their Substance
  • quartering large Bodies
  • enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument
  • plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts
  • fall themselves by their Hands
  • excited domestic Insurrections
  • Petitioned for Redress
  • Attentions to our British Bretheren
  • disavow these Usurpations
  • interrupt our Connections and Correspondence
  • in General Congress
  • appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions
  • do all other Acts and Things
  • acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, friends [if you know what I mean]


  1. Ties of our common kindred
    William Whipple

  2. bill.4:24 PM

    Hither? I don't even know her.

  3. calliekl5:51 AM

    Oh, I know what you mean, and let me tell you, I am shocked.

  4. And a guide to additional sexual innuendo in this post:

    "pound short"