Monday, June 1, 2015

IT'S NOT A THINKPIECE. PERHAPS AS LITTLE THOUGHT AS POSSIBLE WENT INTO THIS:  We now have a trailer for the 100% PURE UNNECESSARY! Point Break remake/reboot/whatever.


  1. bill.4:10 PM

    Original Point Break: Johnny Utah doesn't know how to surf. The movie then wastes valuable action time as he takes lessons from a tiny female and learns to appreciate a new culture. He falls down a lot and gets punched in the face.

    New Point Break: Johnny Utah is a tattooed god and doesn't have time to learn shit. More extreme! More Brawndo!

    Original Point Break: likeable band of ne'er-do-wells robbing banks to pay for the next wave turn out to be kinda minor league psychopaths. Oops, plot twist!

    New Point Break: Extremely rich super villains want to destroy the world's economy so everyone can afford wingsuits? Because James Bond and Ironman aren't real? Because teenage boys are stupid and will make this movie a massive hit?

  2. Joseph Finn4:32 PM

    The line about how they're extreme sports fanatics, "Like me" may be one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a major studio release trailer ever.

  3. I fully expect Star Wars is going to suck pretty much all the air out of the market at Christmas.

  4. Adam C.5:40 PM

    Here's where I apologize to Ray Winstone for thinking, during that trailer, that he was Randy Quaid. (At least I now assume it's Winstone, having looked at the IMDB cast list. If not, and it IS Randy Quaid, then I don't even know.)

  5. Adam B.5:54 PM

    The original is not mediocre. Directed by Academy Award winner Kathryn Bigelow, as you know, and it's pretty to look at while having some fun overacting throughout.

  6. Adam B.6:16 PM

    For some reason, I just reimagined this trailer with Kenan Thompson playing both leads, and it made me happy.

  7. The music playing under that line is for a completely different, far more serious, movie. It's what really clinches the laughs.

  8. Joseph Finn11:29 PM

    FUTURE Academy Award winner. Point Break is barely even Strange Days and has nothing on Near Dark.