I'M NOT A BABYSITTER. I'M A PERFORMER: Kim, Isaac and I decided not to do a post about the Adam Lambert AMA performance "controversy" when it happened because, well, I hate "controversies" that belong in quotes and aren't true controversies. It's not like he used his platform to challenge factory farming on the eve of Thanksgiving Week, or to unfurl a banner denouncing the President for his role in, well, something bad. He danced provocatively in order to attract attention, knew exactly what he was doing, and is reaping the expected publicity blitz. [We've come a long way from Shir LaShalom.]

Still, Lambert's remarks on CBS this morning are noteworthy, both because of his unapologetic articulation of a perceived double standard on suggestiveness as to male performers (and in particular gay male performers), and because it's just nice to hear him speak at length for once about anything, given the limits of the Idol format.

added: Ann Powers: "[T]here's a third way to view Lambert's staged provocation: not as a new low for pop's moral standards, nor as a revolutionary act, but as one of the most traditional things he's done so far...."

ONE OF THE ROUGHEST GAMES AROUND FOR THE ATARI GAME SYSTEM: AdWeek collects ten celebrity computer/video game commercials from the 1980s, including the late Phil Hartman promoting Activision's Ice Hockey and a pre-adolescent Jack Black pitching Pitfall. [My other favorite early Black appearance was as one of the teenage acolytes of Pennsylvania Senate candidate Bob Roberts.]

IN WHICH I SIT DOWN TO WRITE IN LIEU OF PLANNING MY THANKSGIVING MENU: I am gradually getting caught up on my TV viewing after a few weeks in which life got in the way of both television and blogging (not that I had anything to write about anyway, having been consuming nothing in the way of pop culture). I offer a few observations.

• The final four on Top Chef are exactly who everyone thought they would be after, what, two episodes at the most? Ditto the top two designers on Project Runway. Have we all become such experienced reality TV viewers that we can no longer be surprised? Or have these just been really obvious seasons?
• Fat Apollo kicks the snot out of Fat Barney.
• I don't have a lot to contribute on SYTYCD thus far. My DVR ate one performance episode, and Cosmo Girl insisted on watching the other one with me -- skipping the jidges' comments. I plan to watch tonight, though -- alone, so that I can cuddle up with my BFFs Nigel and Shankman uninterrupted by demands that I hurry up and get to the next dance. Anything fabulous that I should be tracking down on the youtubes?
• There is no more cringeworthy song on the planet than "(You're) Having My Baby," regardless of who sings it and under which circumstances. I do want to give a big shoutout to my own personal favorite unexpectedly awesome singing voice on Glee: Artie can sing his ass off.
• Note to Lifetime: I hate video blogs. I like reading what Tim Gunn et al. have to say after the fact, but I don't want to have to watch even more TV to gain additional insight on the already-too-many TV shows I choose to watch. Plus it's much easier to quietly read a blog at my office than it is to quietly watch TV on my computer at my office. Carry on.

FOUR MONTHS OF GLUM: Fox has announced its midseason schedule. There will be no new Glee from December 10 until April 13, at which point it will take the post-Idol competition slot to air directly against the final episodes of Lost.

TWOFER TUESDAY: Continuing the musical incongruity theme so brilliantly displayed by the Muppets take on Queen, may I present Neil Young tackling the theme from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

ELECTRIC MAYHEM:The fine folks at the Muppets give us a new version of "Bohemian Rhapsody." Particular credit for not relying on just the big name characters, but pulling out the obscure.

YOU BETCHA, WE ... WERE MORONS: Minneapolis Star-Tribune columnist Patrick Reusse revisits the Twins' then-controversial decision to take hometown high-schooler Joe Mauer over USC's Mark Prior with the first pick in the 2001 MLB Draft.

added: Albert Pujols is the BBWAA's unanimous selection as NL MVP. Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder follow. Pujols is your tenth 3-time MVP in MLB history ... and he's only 29. Oddest ballot would be the one with Todd Helton in third.