EXPLAIN IT TO ME LIKE I'M A FOUR-YEAR OLD: The ABA Journal wants your vote on its list of The 25 Greatest Fictional Lawyers Who Are Not Atticus Finch. [Among those not even on the Also Receiving Consideration list: Lionel Hutz, Elle Woods, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and Dan Fielding.]

IS HE GOING TO THE SPECIAL HELL? A news anchor is....distracted...after Christina Hendricks notes that she was in the bath when she learned of her Emmy nomination.

ROY STORY 2: Halladay, Oswalt ... go ahead, name your favorite Roys in history and culture. I'll start it with "Orbison".

YEP, I'M GONE: Ellen DeGeneres has quit American Idol; new judges (2? 3? 4?) to be announced on Monday. This was a failed experiment, and I'm glad it's over. Sepinwall agrees.

ETA from Matt: Nikki Finke reports that Jennifer Lopez will replace Ellen (and Kara?) and that while they wanted Elton John to replace Simon Cowell, they couldn't work it out, and an offer may be out to Steven Tyler to fill that seat.

IN A WORLD WHERE THE SUN SETS AND RISES EVERY TWO SECONDS AND THERE IS NO ELECTRICITY, ONE MAN IS IRRITATED: Dear trailer editors: Do you have abnormally atrophied eyelid muscles that make you blink in slow motion? The extended Comic Con Thor trailer (warning: takes forever to load and almost as long to play) is ridiculous. There are ways to cut film other than fade-to-black/hold-black/fade-up.

Incidentally, what can we do about making vikings the new sparkly vampires? We have Thor and Eric's backstory on True Blood. All we need now is a good high school viking romance.

SOME DANCE TO REMEMBER; SOME DANCE TO FORGET: If the dancing on last night's SYTYCD was not bad, neither was it memorable, an effect compounded by the fact that fast-forwarding all of the solos and almost all of the judges' comments (I caught Shankman's bleeped-on-the-west-coast f-bomb and a handful of Nazi Barbie) allowed me to watch a two-hour show in about 30 minutes. So I don't think I can go dancer by dancer. I will say, though:

• Two dances featuring homeless people -- the nice (best of the night, for me) Ade-Billy piece, and the cha-cha with Anya dressed up as a crazy meth hooker with stringy bleached hair, bluish skin, clownish red lipstick, and no pants.
• A surfeit of Broadway or Broadwayish dances (with a lot of my least favorite Broadway move, people chasing each other with long steps and big swinging arms) plus a bunch of pieces with a prop and a hyperliteral storyline (what, are they letting Tabitha and Napoleon choreograph contemporary now?) plus a slow hip-hop to Otis Redding (who I love, but hip hop?) with no footwork means that the show really didn't want my attention this week.
• Despite its Broadwayishness, I liked AdeChike in his jazz dance. His upper body is too tense, but his movement otherwise seemed very retro and very appropriate for the latin jazz music.
• Jose still terrible, Lauren still coldly proficient, Robert still almost dropping Kathryn. Why does Robert hate Kathryn? Why does the show keep cruelly delivering her to him? We're two episodes away from the dance where he ties her to the train tracks and twirls his waxed mustache.
• The more Mia Michaels talks, the more she spends the goodwill she built up on the first several seasons of this show.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK "JORTS" IS DONE: Somehow, until reading today's NYT review of the newly opened Forever 21 flagship in Times Square (seriously, we lost the Virgin Megastore for this?) I was somehow unaware of the concept of "jeggings," or, more disturbingly, the concept that they are available for men.