Saturday, June 21, 2003

TWO TELEVISION ADS I JUST DON'T GET: Both in the fast-food genre:

First off, KFC's got a spot for a $4 Crispy Strips Meal in which Jason Alexander stresses that it's just as good as the $8 chicken tenders you can get at a "casual dining" restaurant. Now, I know what he means by that -- the tier of sitdown chains like Friday's, Bennigan's and Outback that have whittled away at the previous dominance of the fast food places -- but it's not a term that's generally used among the public. It'd be like talking about the quality of their "syrup-derived concentrated carbonated beverages," instead of their sodas.

Costanza, if you don't like Olive Garden, call 'em out by name.

Secondly, the McGriddle. McDonald's is running a series of ads all of which focus on how weird the McGriddles are -- they are, as the website says, "an innovative way for customers to eat warm golden griddle cakes (with the sweet taste of maple syrup baked right in), and different combinations of savory sausage, crispy bacon, fluffy eggs and melted cheese in a convenient sandwich." In other words, it's a McMuffin, but with pancakes instead of english muffins providing the sandwiching.

Is it weird? I guess. But why brag about its weirdness? Why call it “Weird. But a good kind of weird” and “Bizarre, but yummy”?

You're McDonald's, for pete's sake. You serve billions and billions annually by promoting how familiar, how typical, how of-course-you-knew-you-wanted-it all their food is. We're dealing with a company whose last successful product breakthrough was the McNugget, and that debuted in 1983!

(Rattling off failed McDonald's "innovations" is a competitive sport among Gen-Xers, isn't it? I'll start with three: Arch Deluxe, McRib, and, of course, the McDLT, which kept the hot side hot and the cool side . . . lukewarm.)

People don't come to McDonald's for innovation. They come for familiarity. So even if they think it's weird, they still should be promoting it as though stuffing egg, cheese and bacon inside a pancake, between your hands was something you've wanted your whole life. Yeah, it's a lie, but it's more persuasive than the truth is.

It's just a matter of time before the McGriddle goes the way of the McLean Deluxe.

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