Wednesday, November 5, 2003

SHABBAT SHALOM, MOTHERF*CKERS: Look out, Gentiles: The Hebrew Hammer is coming.

Written and directed by rookie Jonathan Kesselman, the upcoming movie stars Adam Goldberg as Mordechai Jefferson Carver, is a man's mensch in these troubled times -- a Brooklyn private eye who, in his spare time, saves the world of Jewish culture and tradition. A "certified circumsized dick", The Hammer faces his gravest challenge when Santa's son, Damian Claus (Andy Dick), is out to destroy Hanukkah once and for all.

The Hammer is joined in this fight by Mohammed (Mario Van Peebles), the head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front. Peter Coyote plays Bloomenbergansteinthal, head of the Jewish Justice League. According to the online materials, "Chief Bloomenbergensteinthal is charged with defending the Jewish people and its traditions in times of crisis. His word can move mountains, motivate world leaders, or get another Adam Sandler movie made."

Play the theme song, and get psyched. The movie is slated for release on December 19, the first night of Hanukkah.

This movie better not suck.

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