Saturday, February 1, 2003

TRAGEDY: For those of us who grew up during the age of Challenger, this morning feels all too familiar -- and yet now, unlike then, we unfortunately know these things are possible.

My good friend Andy Lloyd is far more sophisticated on space flight matters than I am, and I encourage you to follow his blog throughout the weekend as events unfold. He and I had a good long talk this morning, and he will be far better at explaining the mechanics of what's gone on than I ever could be.

All I can do is offer my condolences to the families of those brave souls who have left us, and point you to President Reagan's words to the nation following the Challenger disaster. The spirit still feels right.

Friday, January 31, 2003

DEATH'S NELL: The tribute to Nell Carter in this week's The Stranger is well worth your time. Why? As William Stephen Humphrey's piece concludes:
Death is worth obsessing over. It's worth moping around, and crying, and then laughing, and being utterly speechless. And those who truly loved life -- as Nell Carter so plainly did -- are they to be so suddenly forgotten? And if Nell Carter is to be forgotten, then shall we also forget the Punky Brewsters, the Tony Danzas, and the Charles in Charges?

Shall we forget the Mr. Belvederes?

No, they will NOT be forgotten, and neither will Nell Carter. Because she wasn't just a fleeting summer. She was the crisp autumn, the snows of December, the tornadoes of March, the darling buds of May. She was an eon of seasons--and even though we were gifted with only six seasons of Gimme a Break!, that will never, ever be enough.

Words are condemned to fail. Memories of those we love are destined to live. And during this dark time of national mourning, we must remember that we've been given "the break" Nell Carter had always asked for -- an everlasting summer of memories. Or at the very least, reruns.
UP NEXT: PACINO'S THE SOMEWHAT CRAZY WORLD WAR II GENERAL, AND CRUISE IS THE AMBITIOUS COLONEL LOOKING FOR A FATHER FIGURE: My post referencing the Al Pacino canon prompted one regular reader to ask me about Tom Cruise's canonical performances, because he's been the prototypical Novice With A Lesson To Learn once or twice in his career. I am happy to oblige. To review this tremendous actor's range, Mr. Cruise has played on screen:

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn brother of an autistic with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn fighter pilot with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn sports agent with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn Vietnam War veteran with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn high school football player with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn billiards player with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity, finds love, and succeeds against all adversity.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn JAG corps attorney with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity and succeeds against all adversity. Shockingly, he and Demi Moore don't hook up, however.

An obviously talented, yet arrogant and stubborn futuristic DC cop with unresolved family issues who regains his humanity and succeeds against all adversity. And again showing his range, he doesn't hook up with the pre-cog.


See also: Memphis lawyer, Irish immigrant, stock car driver, bartender, teenage whorehouse operator and vampire -- all obviously talented, all arrogant and stubborn, most with unresolved family issues, but in each case, the character regains his humanity (except for the vampire, of course), finds or keeps love, and succeeds against all adversity.
AT LEAST HE'S GOT THAT HOMEWRECKER SARAH SILVERMAN'S SHOULDER TO CRY ON: How bad is Jimmy Kimmel Live? Here's what the blogosphere is reporting. First, from Jim Treacher, excerpted here but well worth reading in full:
Live broadcast and apparently no rehearsals. AWOL writers. No ideas. No guests. Millions spent on a set with an open bar that they used for one night. Bewildered studio audience. Depressed, panicky, and now openly drunken host. The whole mess locked in a death spiral, halfway through its first week.

Chevy and Magic, a nation forgives you.


But wait. There's more, from G. Beato:
[L]ast night's show was worse than public-access. In fact, I think ATM security cameras at bank branches located near college bars regularly capture footage that is more entertaining than what Jimmy Kimmel Live came up with last night.

It's time to start taking odds. Who'll be out of a job first -- Jimmy Kimmel or Saddam Hussein?

P.S. When is Jon Stewart going to get a late-night network slot already? This is getting ridiculous.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

JUST LET YOUR SOOOOOOOOUULLLLL GLO, JUST LET IT SHINE: Ladies and gentlemen, we have an Eriq LaSalle sighting.

The former Dr. Peter Benton , who left ER to pursue other projects . . . well, I hope those scrubs still fit, because all he's got going on now is getting killed off in the first few minutes of Biker Boyz, in theatres Friday. Says one early review:
The film boringly unravels like Antwone Fisher On Wheels (or Rollerball sans skank factor) and is ultimately best savored as a reunion special between the cast of “The Cosby Show” and “A Different World.” (Lisa Bonet stars as Biker Window Dressing and Kadeem Hardison as Biker Cripple.) DreamWorks is touting the film as a “contemporary Western” but a “two-hour hip-hop video with stank soap opera plot” is more like it.

When is anyone going to release Lean On Me On Ice? Can't a man dream?
LOOK, BUT DON'T WATCH. TASTE, BUT DON'T SWALLOW: And read the reviews, but for heaven's sake, don't actually go out and see Al Pacino's new movie, The Recruit. As the New York Times appropriately notes:
[T]his movie, directed with shrugging professionalism by Roger Donaldson ("No Way Out," "13 Days"), belongs to a very special genre: the Al Pacino crazy mentor picture.

Examples include "Donnie Brasco," "Scent of a Woman," "Devil's Advocate" and "Any Given Sunday." In each of these movies, Mr. Pacino is paired with a younger actor — Johnny Depp, Chris O'Donnell, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx — to enact a peculiar generational battle whose outcome is usually a mutual learning of lessons.

Often, the temperamental contrast between the characters is reflected in approaches to acting. Mr. Pacino's style — the Method gone mad — is gestural and confrontational, with a lot of shouting and muttering.

Hoo-AH!. Estimated date for this movie joining its relatives on heavy rotation on TNT and bumping off one of The American President's weekly airings? September 5, 2004. Mark it, Smokey.
JOE'S DECISION: Today's Philadelphia Daily News claims to know who Evan "Joe Boxer Millionaire" Marriott has selected. While they don't have anywhere close to solid (or even reliable) confirmation, you can click here to find out who they think it is. Did he select the movie star?

One big problem with that theory? The New York Post had already reported on this contestant as being "still bitter about the experience."
"HE JUST HAS TO FIND HIS NICHE." Rabbi Fred Neulander, welcome to your new home.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL: This season is different. How different? Let's go from the obvious to the subtle, as the final thirty-two are now set:

1. The judges and producers have acknowledged that one need not be a size two to be a pop superstar in the making. Based on some of the selections for the final thirty-two, both male and female, this year's is a competition Aretha Franklin could have won. It's about damn time. Go Frenchie!

2. Narrative. There is one this year. Tonight's episode in particular started to build the tension between some of the competitors -- the girls who ditched the fourth member of their audition group because they were afraid of competing against her, the Terrence Trent D'Arby wannabe who stayed out the night before the audition partying but made it through anyway, we're learning more about these people than last year as we enter the audience participating phase; and,

3. Audience. Last year, American Idol was a slow buildup. Many viewers didn't get hooked until the semifinals, if not the top 10 finals stage. This time, there are already more people watching than saw 2002's final episode.

What does that mean? It means that viewers are going to be taking these narratives with them and remembering who these people are before they start singing for their (show business) lives next week. It means that no matter how well Kimberly Caldwell sings next week -- and she is fabulous -- viewers are going to remember how poorly she treated co-auditionist Julia DeMato this week, and they're going to vote on that basis, not the singing merits. Which is fine, I guess, because it's good to have pop stars who are decent people.

I mean, it's better than having a reality tv star who got her start making stroke videos for fetish addicts, isn't it?

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

WELL, IT DOES EXPLAIN CROSSROADS, IN A WAY: The New York Post reports:
BRITNEY Spears, movie critic? The belly-baring pop tart caused a stir during a Sundance Festival screening of Robert Downey Jr.’s "The Singing Detective" when she and her large entourage walked out 45 minutes into the flick. Spears later told a PAGE SIX spy, "The official line is we had our schedules mixed up, so we had to leave, but I didn’t like the movie . . . Sundance is weird. The movies are weird - you actually have to think about them when you watch them."

Monday, January 27, 2003

MMMMMM. (SLURP) (SLURP) (GULP): I'm not quite sure what got into Fox's editors tonight, but tonight's episode of Joe Millionaire was -- intentionally, this time -- one of the funniest things I've seen on tv in some time, and this includes Ms. I-Beg-To-Diffah! from American Idol last week.

From the aforementioned subtitles provided for Evan's heard-but-not-seen fumble in the forest with Sara to the worst beef stroganoff you'll ever see, to a contestant who couldn't distinguish the word "mercenary" from "merciful" in describing her desire to bathe Africa's poor should she be married to a multi-millionaire, this episode really was chock full of unintentional hilarity brought to light by the producers.

Still, two episodes stand out from the rest. First, on a horseback riding date with Evan, Zora mentioned how much she loved animals and nature, that the whole day "was like a Disney movie." Cue a two minute montage of our furry forest friends, from cuddly deer to raccoons to fuzzy rabbits, all set to happy, chipper music. Oh, it was classic.

But then . . . .but then. So, contestant Melissa Jo ("MoJo") decided to give Evan a gift she prepared before leaving for the show -- a jigsaw puzzle of . . . . herself . . . . with the words I CHOOSE YOU on it. And so, a Simpsons-educated nation watched, turned to each other, and said, in our best Ralph Wiggum voice, "You choo-choo . . . choose me?"

But it was not to be, as Evan lost his MoJo, as it were. We're down to three, and no one really care who wins -- we just want a good reaction shot at the end.

Sunday, January 26, 2003