"ZOMBASTIC!" That's what I was thinking watching John Stevens sing "King Of The Road". And really, I was just thinking it because I took myself out to see Dawn Of The Dead last night. That was zombastic. Idol was less compelling, so I was flashing back. Um, and typing.
I was typing and Idol was droning on behind me, and I have to say that at least The Zombie King Of The Road pulled his load without the harmonically muddying background vocals that so many other contestants were hiding behind. Or in front of ... vocally, I mean. Whatever. John's not bad.
Actually though, I was going to write about the movie.
*Ahem* Dawn Of The Dead is a pro forma cannibal corpse movie from Hollywood's damn-I-guess-that-genre-is-still-lucrative school of dry-humping the cash cow. It's a reasonably creative but altogether as-expected stream of splatter, screams and gunfire with a few fun moments and nothing special to recommend it unless you particularly enjoy seeing people (zombies, whatever -- they're a projection of your repressed antagonism to your fellow man, so really they're people) shot in the face.
Gods. Apparently it's Country & Western night. Urf.
That fits though, since I've always kind of associated line-dancing with hordes of flesh-hungry undead ... ever since the Thriller video, anyway. Something about a room full of people who crave nothing more than the spontaneous fun and excitement of doing the same thing at the same time.
Yeah, so they shoot a lot of extras in the head and face in the new Day Of The Dead, apparently because it was as effective as Viagra with 3-out-of-5 focus-group subjects in key zombie-watching demographics. (You know who you are.) Side effects -- including desensitization, loss of self-esteem, headache, hyperactivity and nausea -- were generally mild and similar to sugar pill. (If, by "sugar pill", you mean "consuming an entire jamboree-size bag of Reese's Pieces and a gallon of Jolt Cola by yourself".) Overall I think it might actually have been a tougher, funnier movie that got "straightened up" in a good vs. evil, don't-get-too-dark sort of way during post-production. Just speculation.
Randy would make a wicked freakin' zombie, btw. "Brains, dawg! Yeah! You know ... how your brains doing, man?" Heh. Hoo. Sorry.
Honestly, there's no reason to see Dawn Of The Dead unless this sort of thing is your bag, baby. For better or worse, it's mine. Sure, it's an uplifting vote of confidence in humanity, a veritable love note to compassion and dignity compared to The Swan, but it's obviously not for everyone.
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